


Bare Essentials

by J-leeDixon (J_leeDixon)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), daryl dixon - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Romance, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-18 11:50:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 83,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3568589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_leeDixon/pseuds/J-leeDixon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl was a nobody, he was merely Merle's shadow. After almost getting killed, he knows things have to change, but he doesn't know if he has the ability to do it. Sam was just getting her life back on track, she didn't need a man in her life right now, but sometimes life has a funny way of showing you what you actually do need after all.</p><p>Daryl/OC<br/>AU<br/>Rated M-Explicit for language, adult situations, eventual smut</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

_You can do this. You will not fuck this up. This might be your last chance at a normal life. Don't run. Go in, learn and do the best motherfucking job you can possibly do. No more sabotaging yourself. Oh, and no more cussing. Not at work._ Samina Webber stood in an alley, at the back entrance of her new workplace. Her fingernails were digging painfully into her palms as she fought the urge to have a cigarette. Smelling like nicotine on her first day would probably not be appreciated. Or maybe nobody cared. Patsy's Diner wasn't exactly an upscale eatery, but as long as she couldn't be sure how her new boss ticked, she would refrain from lighting up a smoke. She took a deep breath, digging her fingernails even deeper into the skin of her palms during her inhale, only to loosen the grip when she exhaled. She opened her eyes and took two steps towards the door. Her heart started beating faster, her stomach felt like it was suddenly filled with lead, and her mouth went dry while she lifted her hand to knock. She couldn't remember ever having been this nervous in her entire life, and maybe it was ridiculous to be about to throw up over starting a waitress job, but to Sam, this was one of the most important days of her life. This was supposed to be the day on which her new life truly started.

 

“Good morning. Right on time.” Patty Newton smiled upon opening the back door for Sam. The chubby redhead, who Sam presumed to be in her early 50s, was Sam's new boss and also the daughter of Patsy Newton, who'd opened the diner here in Blue Ridge a good 40 years ago. “Ready for your first day?”

 

“I guess... yeah.” Sam smiled nervously, but Patty was able to tell that the young woman was genuinely happy and excited to have landed that job.

 

“Come on in, then.” Patty waved her in and closed the door once Sam had stepped inside. “Don't look so worried, sweetheart. We all started out at one point, and it ain't rocket science.” Patty smiled encouragingly with her southern drawl. “There's the lockers. I already put your name on that one and a couple of shirts and aprons are inside. Always make sure to come in clean and to have a clean pair to change into in case you spill something all over yourself.”

 

“Yes, ma'am.” Sam nodded quickly, making the older woman laugh.

 

“Please, call me Patty. We're all family here. Now, where was I?”

 

“Clean clothes.”

 

“Right. If you wanna smoke, do that outside in the back alley. Now, as your boss I'm telling you to only smoke on your break, but if you get along with the other girls, they won't mind covering for you for a couple of minutes, but they expect you to return the favor.”

 

“Sure.” Sam nodded again, soaking up every word Patty was saying.

 

“I'm turning a blind eye to that. We all got our vices.” Patty kept talking while Sam took off her jean jacket and hung it in the locker. “Now, today nobody's gonna expect too much from you. Just watch the others. The most important thing to remember is that the customer is always right, to stay on top of the refills, and if anyone slaps your ass, you can punch their lights out.”

 

Sam, who was in the process of changing out of her top and into her work t-shirt, froze. Her head whipped around to stare at Patty, while her hands stopped right when she had lifted her top up over her bra-covered breasts. “What?”

 

“The customer might be king, but not even kings get away with everything, sweetheart.” Patty chuckled. “Ha, I see the good Lord has been generous to you. That helped ya at your last job, huh? Or are those puppies fake?”

 

“Umm...” Sam looked down at her cleavage, amused, but still a little thrown by Patty's free and easy attitude. “No. Real.” she muttered. A little shudder went through her when Patty mentioned her last job, which the older woman must have noticed.

 

“That's behind you now, Sam. Two of my other girls, Becky and Jess, they come from pretty much the same background. I'm sure they'll help you out.” Patty smiled. “I've been there myself, but I had my mother to kick my ass and set me straight again. That's why I'm helping girls like you out. I know not all of you are as lucky as me. The only condition is, that you stay clean and sober. We're gonna be attending meetings together every Wednesday morning at 10 am, right around the corner. Giving you a job and making sure you go to meetings is my part. Showing up and making an effort is your part. Alright?”

 

“Alright. I intend to. Very much so.” Sam vowed, meeting Patty's gaze straight on.

 

“I believe you. I know people. You just lost your way for a while. I get it. Happened to me, too, like I said. Now we just gotta make sure it won't happen again.”

 

“Right. Thank you.” Sam smiled gratefully and finally started to relax a little. She had donned her shirt and apron in the meantime, and Patty put a warm hand on her shoulder.

 

“You're welcome. Let's meet the other girls, shall we?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Come on. Now, where was I?” Patty asked again, but this time she remembered the answer without help. “Oh yeah, punching someone's lights out. You see, this is a small town and we have a lot of regulars. That's the good thing. After a week or so, you'll know most of your costumers and their usuals, which will make this job easy-peasy. Some of them like to get cheeky with new girls. It's all in good fun and they don't mean any harm, but if someone starts being a jerk, don't be afraid to put them in their place.”

 

“I'll manage. I had a lot of that at my last job, remember?” Sam scoffed lightly.

 

“Right. You'll do fine, I'm sure.”

* * *

After Patty had introduced Sam to her new colleagues, it was time to go to work. The girls had been very nice, and Becky had immediately taken Sam under her wing. She showed her how to work the coffee machine, where they kept things like syrup, ketchup, sugar, etc. for whenever they needed to refill those things, and explained to her how the whole system in general worked. While they did that, the diner slowly filled with a couple of patrons, who were there for their breakfast.

 

“Like Patty said, there's gonna be a lot of regulars. Over there is Frankie Miller. Retired. Comes in every morning for his black coffee, eggs and bacon. Good tipper. That over there is Joyce Harris. Maybe you know her, she owns the salon two streets down. She comes in every morning for a quick breakfast before she goes to open her salon. She likes quick service, so make sure not to let her wait. Otherwise you won't get much trouble from her. And there's the Dixons. Merle and Daryl. They practically live here. You'll see them around a lot, so you better get used to Merle quick. He's not all that bad, though, but he can come across as pretty crass at first.” Becky told her in a hushed voice, not noticing how Sam had tensed up as soon as she had laid eyes on the two men.

 

“Oh, I know Merle.” Sam sighed.

 

“Right. Should have figured.” Becky laughed quietly.

 

“Don't know the other one, though.” Sam curiously eyed the other Dixon.

 

“Daryl? Yeah, he's Merle's younger brother. He's quiet. Unlike his big bro.” Becky said. “If you have a thick skin and don't get offended by some of the things Merle says, then they shouldn't give you much trouble, either.”

 

“I'll be fine.” Sam reassured her with a smile.

 

“Let's get to work then.” Becky returned the smile and handed Sam a notepad and pen.

* * *

“Hey! What's it gonna take for a guy to get a refill here, sugar?”

 

Way too soon Sam heard Merle Dixon's unmistakable voice call out for her, when she was making the rounds to refill some coffee cups. She fought the urge to sigh, instead she kept her polite smile firmly plastered on her face and walked towards the small booth the Dixons were occupying.

 

“Damn, ya serve fries with that shake, sweet cheeks?” he leered at her while she made her way over.

 

“For an additional $1.99, sure.” Sam said smilingly. She fought a grin when she heard the younger Dixon brother emit an amused scoff. She looked at him, expecting to share a smirk, but the man named Daryl wasn't looking at her. He kept his head down, shoveling eggs into his mouth like it was his first meal in weeks. So far she hadn't seen his face at all. His long, dark hair kept shielding his features from anyone getting a clear view. It made her want to push his hair out his eyes. She didn't know how he did it. She wasn't able to stand having hair falling in her eyes for even a minute. She would be pushing and blowing at those strands constantly. Daryl didn't seem to be the least bit bothered by it, though. She shrugged to herself and refilled both their coffees. Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed Merle looking at her. Well, studying her was more like it.

 

“Say... don't I know you?” he asked with a frown.

 

_He doesn't recognize me? Guess he was too stoned or drunk all those times. Good for me._ Sam relaxed a little. She hadn't even noticed that her shoulders had been tense. “I don't think so.” Sam lied through her teeth. “I haven't lived here very long.” That wasn't an outright lie. She had been living in Blue Ridge for close to a year. To some that wasn't long at all. 

 

“Huh...” he was still studying her. He felt like he knew her. He just wasn't able to put his finger on it. “What's your name?”

 

“Sam.”

 

“Hm... Sam, huh? Don't ring a bell, but you sure look familiar, girlie. Where you from?”

 

“South Carolina. Can I get you guys anything else?” she asked politely.

 

“Hey Daryl... help me out. We know her?” Merle addressed his brother without taking his eyes off of Sam.

 

Sam looked over at Daryl just in time to see him look up and shake his head lightly, finally getting some hair out of his eyes. She saw a flash of what might have been blue eyes. It was hard to tell. He had kind of droopy eyelids and on top of that he had them narrowed to slits when he looked at her. The rest of his face seemed to be all sharp angles, but once again, it was hard to tell, because he looked back down pretty quickly. “Nah.” he replied with a shake of his head.

 

“Anything else?” Sam repeated her question.

 

“Nah. That's it for now, sugar.” Merle said, letting his gaze follow her when she walked off. “I've seen her before. I'm sure of it.”

 

“Let it go, man. Ain't never seen her before.” Daryl mumbled around a mouthful of eggs.

 

“Yeah, maybe you ain't seen her before, but I'm sure I have. I'll figure it out. Always do.”

 

“Whatever.” Daryl shrugged. He wasn't interested. He wasn't much interested in women in general. He wasn't gay. He'd jacked off to Victoria's Secret catalogs (and later porn) more than enough, but he'd never really shown interest in real women. Mostly for the sole reason that they never showed any interest in him either. When he was younger he'd briefly entertained thoughts of kissing a girl or getting to second base, but over the years those thoughts had popped up less and less until they had vanished completely. He didn't have anything to offer a woman, so he didn't even try. He was just Merle's quiet younger brother. Nothing more than an ugly, piss poor redneck jerk.

* * *

Sam went home later that day, feeling accomplished, and happier than she had in a long time. Her nervousness was gone and now her excitement shone through full force, painting a beautiful smile on her face and making her blue eyes shine and twinkle. Her shiny brown hair, which she had pulled back into a ponytail, bounced with the little spring in her step on her way home. She leaped up the couple of stairs that led to the front door of the small house she was renting, for the first time not dreading returning to her dark and empty home.

 

She took off her jacket, kicked off her boots, and walked straight into the kitchen with her phone in hand. She opened the music player and quietly sang along to “Kickapoo” by Tenacious D, while she “beheaded” some fresh strawberries. She tossed them in the blender and added some milk, making herself strawberry milk; all part of her trying to return to a better and healthier life, which is why she had politely declined Patty's offer to take home some pie. When the blender had done its job, she poured herself a glass, grabbed a straw, and started slurping the delicious drink on her way back to the couch. She was near breathless with excitement when she opened her laptop and let it boot. She bounced her knee up and down impatiently while she waited for the damn machine to be done. “Come on...” She murmured when about 20 seconds after she clicked on Skype, it still wasn't opening. Needless to say, she wasn't the most patient person in the world. 

 

“Finally.” She breathed a moment later and double-clicked on the button “Mom & Dad” to start a video chat. It took a moment until they accepted, but when they did, Sam's face hurt from smiling so broadly and she had to fight back tears. “Hi baby!!! Hi! Oh look at you, you're getting bigger every week. And you're wearing the Cars shirt I sent you.”

 

“Say 'hi mommy'.” Sam's mother Liz was holding her 18 months old grandson on her lap. She grabbed his hand and made him wave at the camera. “Do you see mommy, River? You wanna wave and say hi?”

 

River smiled and started waving frantically at the screen, making his mother giggle. “He's still not saying anything?”

 

“No.” Liz smiled. “But he's a boy. They take their time, it's alright.”

 

“Mhm.” Sam was not convinced, but she didn't feel like getting into an argument over it again. Not today. “I had my first day at the diner today.”

 

“How was it?”

 

“It was great. I actually can't wait to go back tomorrow. Everything is going great.” Sam beamed, not taking her eyes off her son, who seemed to be touching the screen now, trying to touch his mother.

 

“That sounds good.” Liz smiled, albeit a little reserved.

 

“It is. I think this will work out really well. Maybe you can bring River sooner than we thought. Maybe even next month...”

 

“Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Samina. It was only your first day. Let's wait to see if it actually will work out.”

 

“It will. I've been sober for 6 months. It's fine.”

 

“Maybe, but up until two weeks ago, you were still working as a stripper. Let's wait and see if you actually manage to leave that behind you for a while, before we bring your son back into your environment.”

 

“So what? You want to keep him for another 6 months? He's my son. You can't keep him from me forever. He needs his mother.” Sam got upset, but she quickly lowered her voice again, not wanting River to witness another shouting match between his mommy and grandma.

 

“What he needs is a mother, who can provide a safe environment and stability. You know it's for the best if we wait a bit longer. Until you're more settled in your sobriety and your new job.” Liz argued as gently as possible, not wanting to upset little River.

 

“Yeah... you're right.” Sam nodded and pressed her lips together in a hard line. Gone was her happy mood. “How has he been this week?”

 

“A little cranky. We think it might be the next set of teeth coming in.”

 

“Yeah that's possible.” Sam agreed. “Maybe some cute little fangs or his first molars.”

 

“We'll see.”

 

“Do you need something for him?”

 

“Don't you worry about that. You didn't have to send those clothes. You should save your money.” Liz admonished her slightly, making Sam having to resist the urge to roll her eyes. A couple of shirts for 2 or 3 dollars each won't make her go broke.

 

“I saw them at the store and thought he'd look cute in them. And he does. I can afford some t-shirts, you know?”

 

“Well, he's got more than enough now.” Liz said and carefully let River slide off her lap. “Looks like he's done for now. I was just about to give him a bath, too.”

 

“Alright.” Sam sighed sadly. Unfortunately kids' attention span at that age wasn't very big, but she was happy with whatever she got whenever she was able to see him via Skype. “I love you, baby.” She said, even though he wasn't looking at her anymore, but maybe he still heard it. Whatever, it was important for her to let him know. “Give him a big kiss for me.”

 

“I will. Don't stay up too late. You don't wanna be tired in the morning.”

 

“I know, Mom. I'll see you in a couple of days.”

 

“Bye Sam.”

 

They ended their chat and Sam finally allowed herself to shed some tears. She missed her son terribly. She was missing out on so much and she had no one to blame but herself, which made the whole thing hurt even more. She slumped back into the sofa and slurped the rest of her strawberry milk, but as soon as that glass was empty, she picked herself back up and went into the empty room in her small house. Empty except for a bucket of light blue paint and some paint brushes and other DIY supplies. She didn't waste any time and started covering up the floor and taping off the room. She was determined to make things work out and to get her son back sooner rather than later and when that happened, this room had to be finished and just perfect.

 

A smile crept back onto her face when the first splash of blue color hit the wall. She would soon have a family and a real life again. She was sure of it.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

**Thank you to Slytherin_Princess10 for the idea and being an awesome muse and a wonderfully talented writer.**

**Let me know what you think. I promise there will be more Daryl in the next chapters:)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Two weeks later Sam had settled into her new routine just fine. She got along splendidly with the other girls, she knew her way around the diner and she was great with their costumers. Becky hadn't been lying when she had said that the Dixons practically lived at the diner. They often came in twice a day and stayed pretty long. It gave Sam the impression that neither of them had a steady job, which made her wonder how on Earth they were making a living. But maybe she was better off not knowing.

During those two weeks, Merle still hadn't come any closer to solving his own personal mystery of where he knew her from. Sam had asked the other girls not to tell him that she had been a dancer at the Bare Essentials strip club. She wanted to enjoy his being clueless for as long as possible before he would remember that he had seen her naked. Daryl was really pretty quiet, but she had finally seen his whole face. He had a true bad boy face, always wearing a scowl and was mostly communicating with grunts instead of words. He wasn't rude, though. He just didn't seem like a big people person. Often it looked like even his brother was getting on his nerves, like he would rather be completely alone and not be bothered by anyone. However, he always came in and left with Merle, never alone.

Which was why she was so surprised to see him sitting at their usual table by himself on that Tuesday around lunch time. He looked like hell and she saw him rubbing his eyes and forehead repeatedly. She made a quick trip to the lockers and grabbed the small bottle of Aspirin from her bag before she went over to him.

* * *

" _Imma kill you, bitch. You're fucking dead."_

The words echoed inside of Daryl's head, which was being wracked by the headache from hell. He felt bile rising in his throat when the images of what had transpired just an hour earlier, kept replaying in his mind. He still felt the sensation of the knife's blade being pressed against his throat, threatening to slice him up and make him bleed out.

He swallowed hard and pinched the bridge of his nose once more, trying in vain to get rid of the unrelenting pounding in his forehead and temples. He was just done. He almost died earlier. And for what? Because Merle hadn't been able to shut up. Again. And now? Merle was back to being all chummy with his dealer, getting high and watching TV, while Daryl had left to puke his guts out, outside the dealer's house.

 _This can't be it. This can't be all there is._ Daryl had been thinking about this a lot lately. Things just kept getting worse and worse, and today had been the icing on the cake. _I'm pushing fucking 40 and this is my life? Being drunk at noon, hanging out at a tweaker's house, almost getting killed over some fucking cartoon? Never wanted to be like them. Now I am and I ain't doin' nothin' to stop it or change it. This just ain't working no more._

"Rough morning?" The voice of one of the waitresses tore him out of his internal musings.

He looked up with bleary eyes and noticed that it was the new girl, Sam. "Mhm." he grunted with a nod, which he regretted immediately.

"Coffee? With a side of Aspirin?" Sam offered with a gentle smile. She kept her voice low, because she assumed he had one hell of a hangover, including a brain-melting headache.

"Wha'?"

"You look like you have a headache. I have some Aspirin. Would you like some? I always have them with me, because I get a lot of headaches. Sensitive eyes... " she trailed off when she realized that she was giving him information he surely didn't care hearing about. Especially not while suffering from a hangover. She pulled the bottle out of her apron to show him and for a second she was sure she had seen a mix of relief and longing pass over his features while he looked at the pills. Then, his eyes flicked up to her face, eying her warily for a moment, probably pondering whether or not he should trust her and take pills from her.

"Yeah. I'll take 'em." he muttered after a moment of silent consideration. "Thanks." he said quietly, sounding almost embarrassed, while his gaze quickly wandered back and forth between her eyes and the pills in her hand.

"You're very welcome. How about a Hangover Special? Greasy burger and fries, bacon and eggs and a tomato juice?"

"Make the juice a coffee. Rest sounds good." Daryl told her in his raspy, low voice, and Sam noticed that it was the most he had ever talked to her. Usually Merle placed the orders. She found that she liked Daryl's voice. It was rough, but it still had something soft to it, which wrapped itself around her like a comforting, warm blanket.

"Coming right up." she smiled and went back behind the counter to place the order with their cook.

"Daryl's here alone?" her boss Patty stood in the doorway, surveying the tables for a moment. "What's wrong? Did Merle get his lazy ass arrested again?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged before she took a quick glance at Daryl over her shoulder. "Looks like he's hungover. Why? Does Merle get arrested often?"

"Happened a couple of times. I went to school with Merle... Well, for as long as he actually stayed there. Already spent time in juvie back then. Daryl being by himself with Merle nowhere in sight either means Merle's in jail or he got Daryl in trouble and the boy's fed up for now. Merle is a loose cannon. As reckless as they come. I just hope one day he won't get his little brother killed. He don't look it, but Daryl's a sweetheart. Don't know how he does it with all the shit going on around him. He's one strong son of a bitch." Patty said, sending an affectionate smile Daryl's way. Then she vanished back to where she had come from, before Sam was able to ask her about the brothers some more.

Soon Sam brought him his food and coffee. "Holler if you need anything else." she smiled, getting a small look from him in acknowledgment. She left to serve her other costumers as soon as he started to shove the fries into his mouth like there would be no tomorrow. Little did Sam know, that for a couple of moments, Daryl had thought that there literally wouldn't be a tomorrow for him.

"Feel better?" she asked a little later, when he was done eating.

"Mhm."

"Some more coffee?"

"Nah, I'm good. Gonna be outta here once I finish this." he said, pointing to his almost empty coffee mug.

"Alright. Have a nice rest of the day then." Sam smiled at him, getting another hesitant look and a small nod in return, before she went to give another costumer a refill. It was busy during lunch hours, so she didn't see him leave, but when she saw the empty table, she went over to collect the dollar bills he had left behind. She frowned when she counted the money on her way back to the counter. "That can't be right. A 10 dollar tip?"

Patty, who was making some more coffee, heard Sam, and smiled. "That from Daryl?"

"Yeah."

Patty's smile widened. "What did I tell you? Sweetheart."

* * *

Becky came into the locker room to get dressed for her shift, just when Sam had punched out and was slipping on her jacket. "Hey Sam. How's it going?"

"Fine, thanks. How are you? Did you go to that Spa thing?"

"Oh yeah. It was awesome. They had this massage guy there... ugh, he was amazing. His hands were so big... and not a lot of yapping. Just every couple of minutes he asked if it was good. And boy, it was!"

"Good for you." Sam laughed and grabbed her bag.

"Hey, what are you doing Friday night?" Becky asked while she tied her apron around her waist.

"Nothing so far. Why?"

"There's gonna be a party at the lake. You should come with me. Or are you still uncomfortable around booze?"

"No, I'm past that stage. I can handle it. Sounds like fun." Sam agreed to accompany her colleague.

"It always is. Too bad it's getting too cold to swim in the lake right now. That's the best thing ever during summer. You can dance your ass off and then you can jump right into the water to cool off."

"Sounds good, but I've had enough of dancing for a while." Sam sighed. She didn't want to be reminded of Bare Essentials right now. She wasn't ashamed that she had taken her clothes off for money. She had done what had been necessary to survive and provide food and shelter for her son. She was only ashamed for having been stupid enough to think that she could just drink her problems away, and that she had made bad decisions that had also affected her little one.

"I get it. I'll never give another blow job again." Becky deadpanned. She had worked as a female escort with certain benefits, before she had met Patty, who had helped her out, just like she had helped out Sam.

"Ha,... yeah." Sam let out a laugh. "We get each other."

"We certainly do. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm working the evening shift tomorrow."

"Like me. Cool. See you then." Becky smiled and briefly touched Sam's arm, before they went their separate ways.

* * *

Friday rolled around quickly and at night Becky and Sam were on their way to that party by the lake. They heard music blasting, mixed with the noises of people talking and laughing. For the first time in months, Sam actually felt like going out and having fun, and she was really excited that Becky had asked her to tag along.

"Gonna find yourself a cute guy tonight?" Becky grinned while they followed the noise.

"God no." Sam laughed, highly amused by Becky's question. "I have enough on my plate already. Who needs guy drama? And I don't do One-Night-Stands. So, no. No guy for me."

"Oh come on. When was the last time you got laid."

"Hmmm, I guess during my pregnancy. Guess it's been about 2 years?"

"Whaaaaat? Shit, how do you go 2 years without a good lay?"

"You just do." Sam replied with a shrug. "It's like you and the blow jobs. I had guys staring at me all the time. I didn't feel the desire to have one touch me, too."

"Really? You never got frisky with one of the guys at the club?"

"No. Never. It was stripping only. Never did any friction dances or something like that. No touching, just looking. I know it sounds ridiculous coming from a former stripper, but... that's just not who I am. I'm still a girl. I need love and feelings and butterflies and all that romance novel shit." Sam explained with a smile, but then that smile vanished. "But after my ex... I'm not sure that romance novel shit even exists in real life."

"Yeah. I strongly doubt it exists. Guess we gotta make a toast to good vibrators then." Becky said and made Sam laugh out loud with her casual statement.

 _God bless, Becky,_ Sam thought, just when they arrived at the party location.

There were a whole lot of people there. Sam got the impression that half the town had to be in attendance. Becky took her hand and dragged her through the masses, until she apparently saw someone she knew. She introduced Sam to some people, and while Sam wasn't shy, she still stayed a bit in the background and just listened while Becky and her friends talked. They were nice though, and tried to include Sam in the conversation a lot. Apparently Becky had talked about her and had told them about the cool, new girl she worked with. It made Sam feel good. Finally someone who liked her just the way she was. She was sure that Becky and her would become very good friends in the future, and it was always good to have a friend. Especially with the stuff they were struggling with.

It was dark by the time Sam needed a breather. She was having fun, but the constantly blaring music and all the people around her got a bit overwhelming after a while. "I'm gonna go over there for a bit and have a smoke." she shouted into Becky's ear.

"Okay. Want me to come with?"

"No, that's okay. I'll be back in a few." Sam smiled and then carefully pushed her way through the masses. She made her way over to some trees closest to the water. Not too far away from the party, but far enough to be able to drown out the music and people a little. Also, it was dark, and she didn't feel like getting lost if she ventured deeper into the forest-y area. "Phew..." she sighed loudly and took a deep breath as she dug her pack of cigarettes and her lighter out of her bag. She put the cigarette between her lips and held her lighter up to the end of it. She got the shock of her life when she lit the lighter, and the flame revealed that she wasn't alone, like she had assumed. In the dim glow of the flame, she spied the face of none other than Daryl Dixon, leaning against a tree, looking right at her from only about three feet away. "Oh my God!" she yelped and dropped the cigarette. "Daryl? Is that you?"

"Mhm."

"Gosh, I didn't see you there. Sweet Jesus, Joseph and Mary. My heart just stopped beating for a second."

He didn't say anything, just kept looking at her wordlessly. At least, that's what she thought. She wasn't able to tell. She didn't see him clearly, but just enough to know that he was still there. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you. I'll go and-" she started, when she remembered that Daryl always seemed like he'd rather be alone, but he quickly cut her off.

"No. It's alright. Just have your smoke."

"Thanks." she murmured into the darkness while she fished out a new cigarette. When the flame of the lighter flicked back to life, Sam looked back over at Daryl, seeing that he was indeed still looking at her, or that he was looking at her again, but this time he was also chewing on his thumb, peeking up at her from between the hair that always seemed to be in his eyes. She had to admit, that he didn't look too shabby in this kind of glow. It only added to that kind of mysterious stranger aura he had going on. "Having fun?" she asked after taking the first drag.

"Said you could stay and smoke. Didn't say I was up for chattin', did I?" he snapped out of the blue, making Sam flinch a little.

"Right..."

Daryl felt like an ass as soon as the words had left his mouth, but sometimes he just wasn't able to stop himself. Much like Merle. But at least he knew and accepted when he was wrong, unlike his older brother. "Sorry." he said quietly.

"It's okay. Sometimes you just have to get away from people. Get some quiet. I understand. It's why I came over here."

"Hm." he grunted, and Sam thought she was getting another mono-syllabic answer, like back at the diner. However, Daryl surprised her when he kept talking. "Yet ya didn't keep quiet."

"Yeah... I guess I'm a bit of a talker. Sorry."

"It's alright, I guess."

"You're the opposite, huh? You don't talk much."

"Ain't got nothin' to say. Why waste my breath?" Something about the way he said it, sounded defeated.

"Maybe it's a sibling thing..." Sam mused. "Merle's quite the talker. Maybe you adapted so you'd balance each other out."

"Pffff. Right. What's that? Some kind of new world, spiritual shit?"

"No. Just an observation." she said, and before he was able to scoff in return, she remembered something. "Hey, uhm... you left a pretty big tip the other day. I wanted to say thank you, just never got around to the past couple of days. Didn't want to do it in front of Merle either... Don't ask me why. Just a feeling."

Daryl just shrugged again. She had been pretty nice to him that day and that had been his way to say thank you. The explanation wouldn't come out of his mouth though. "Yeah, prolly better. He always has something to say about everything." Daryl said, referring to Merle. "He's fucking obsessed with ya."

"Because he thinks he knows me?"

"Mhm."

"Is he here?"

"Yeah. Somewhere around here."

"Stirring up trouble?" Sam guessed, and it actually made Daryl let out a small laugh.

"You know all about him already, hm?"

"Yup. Word travels fast." Sam laughed as well. Daryl didn't know why, but for whatever reason he felt that it was a pleasant sound. He sobered up a second later though.

 _Guess that means she knows all about me, too. Yeah. Word travels fucking fast. New in town and already knows the Dixons are some kind of redneck asshole losers._ Daryl thought bitterly. But this time it was Sam who surprised him with her next words.

"He's a troublemaker, I can tell. You seem different though."

"Ain't no different." Daryl scoffed, when he really wanted to ask why exactly she would think that.

"I think you might be."

"You don't know me."

"It's just a feeling. And my gut is never wrong." Sam said, and Daryl was able to hear the smile in her voice.

"First time for everything." Daryl said sharply. He wasn't quite able to believe that someone would **not** think of him as some kind of mini-Merle. _The hell do you know, girl?_

"Maybe. But not this time." Sam grinned. "I gotta get back to Becky. It was nice seeing you, Daryl."

"Mhm." Another grunt, sounding a bit dismissive, but he still kept his eyes peeled on her retreating form, making sure she got back to the party alright. She had him curious. Why in the world would she think he was any better than his brother? What was she seeing that would make her think that? And if she saw it, were others seeing it, too? Was he different? Did he have the potential to be better? Or was it just her and her gut was wrong about him? All those questions sent him straight back into brooding. He wished he would have just asked her, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. Maybe he was too scared to hear her answer. What kind of answer could it be anyway?

"You know shit about me." he whispered to himself, before he lit another cigarette.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

**I will post Chapter 3 on Friday and Chapter 4 probably on Sunday or Monday:)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

“Sam, can you take me to the store after we're done?” Becky asked while she passed Sam behind the counter at work. Sam had been working at the diner for a whole month, and the two were tight by now. Sam had an old Jetta, which she rarely ever used, because it was hanging on by a thread, but it was still good enough to do some grocery shopping, so she wouldn't have to carry the heavy bags home by herself. She also took Becky shopping whenever she needed to, so she wouldn't have to do that either.

 

“I'm sorry, I can't tonight.” Sam smiled apologetically. “I'm driving over to Blairsville after work to pick up that thing for River I bought on Craigslist. I can take you tomorrow morning though.”

 

“Yeah, that works. Thanks.”

 

“No problem.” Sam smiled and went back to marrying the ketchups, quietly humming to herself while she was doing it. She loved working at the diner. Yeah, her feet still hurt a little from running around for hours without break, but it got better and better. She still steered clear of Merle Dixon, which worked well, because she was mostly taking care of another section of the diner. Sometimes she would look over to the brothers in passing, and every one of those times, when Daryl's eyes peeked up at her from underneath his messy bangs, she gave him a big smile. It was like it was becoming kind of their game, or their thing. Daryl didn't use words often, so it felt like he was saying hello by giving her that quick look. Sam thought it was cute. Sometimes he seemed like he was still a bit of a kid and in a way, it was appealing to her. Maybe, because she sometimes still felt like a kid herself. She barely knew him, but her gut and Patty and her colleagues told her that he was alright. She liked his presence in the diner.

* * *

After her shift Sam drove to Blairsville and picked up two big boxes of used children's books. She had been an avid reader when she had been little, and it had helped immensely during her school years. She hoped that by reading to River frequently, he would learn early on that books and reading were fun, and that he'd take to them like she had back in the day.

 

Thick gray clouds blocked the sun from shining, and it got dark quickly on her way back home. It started to pour after a couple of minutes, and Sam slowed the car down a little, because the wipers had a hard time wiping all the water off the windshield and she was barely able to see anything. She was still a couple of miles out of town when her old Jetta started making weird noises. At first she thought that she was imagining it, but then suddenly, the car started to kind of jerk and sputter and wasn't reacting to her stepping on the gas pedal anymore.

 

“Oh no. No. No. Come on, baby. Just a couple miles, then you can break down, but not yet. Come on.” Her pleading fell on deaf ears. The light to check the engine lit up on the dashboard and her old Jetta slowed down more and more, until it came to a stop at the side of the road. “Shit.” Sam sighed and rested her forehead against the steering wheel for a moment. She had known that this would happen sooner or later, but she had hoped for later. She didn't really have the money for the tow truck and getting it repaired at the shop laying around. That was the downside to the diner. It didn't pay as well as stripping had. Still, she would not go back to Bare Essentials. She would just have to pay the tow truck, then get an estimate for the repairs and save up until she would be able to afford it. “Now I have to let Becky down. But don't worry, it's not your fault. You're old. That's all. This trip was too much, huh? I'm sorry.” Sam reached for her bag to get her cell phone out and call a garage. She frowned when the little compartment inside the bag, where she always put her phone, was empty. “You have got to be freaking kidding me.” She shouted to no one in particular before she banged her forehead back against the steering wheel. “Ugh, must have left it at work. Of course. That's what happens when you take it out with you on your break, because you just have to beat that level of stupid Candy Crush.” she looked back up and took in the pouring rain for a moment, before another deep sigh left her body. “Perfect. And on the day I didn't bring a jacket, because I would be in the car. Figures. Well, here goes nothing. I'm sorry, baby, but I have to leave you behind for now.” she apologized to her car while she grabbed her bag and opened the door. She got out, locked the car and started walking.

 

“At least I'm wearing sneakers.” she said to herself while the rain soaked through her clothing, and chilled her to the bones within mere minutes. She wrapped her arms around herself and kept marching on.

* * *

Daryl was on his way back to Blue Ridge after having been out in the woods all day. He'd actually planned on camping out for the night out there, but then the fall weather had put a dent in those plans. He wasn't a pussy by any means, but the rain was pretty heavy and there was a hole in his tent, which he hadn't gotten around to fixing yet, and tonight he didn't feel like getting wet in his sleep.

 

He was taking the back roads, with less traffic, but also a lot less lighting. He squinted when he saw something getting caught in the shine of his headlights. The closer he got, the more he saw and he soon realized that it was a car. He stepped off the gas a little, trying to see if it was anyone he knew, or if someone was in trouble, but when he drove by, he saw that the car had been abandoned. He shrugged to himself and stepped back on the gas when his belly growled. He hadn't eaten since breakfast and he hadn't been able to catch himself something.

 

He had only gone another mile or two, when he spotted something bright by the side of the road. When that something turned around, he noticed that it was a person in a light-colored sweater. He figured that it must be the owner of the abandoned car he had just passed. He pondered whether or not he should stop, but the decision was made for him, when he realized that it was a woman. He might be all kinds of things, but he wasn't asshole enough to let a woman, who didn't even seem to have a coat with her, walk a couple of miles in the pouring rain. He stopped his truck and leaned over to open the passenger door.

 

_Wait... ain't that the waitress? Sam?_ he frowned when he saw the young woman come up to his car. 

 

“Oh! It's you!” Sam still found it inside her freezing body to give him a smile. “Hey.”

 

“That your car back there?” he asked without reciprocating her greeting.

 

“Yes. Just gave out. Engine light came on.”

 

“Why didn't ya call someone?”

 

“Must have left my phone at the diner. I swear that never happens, but of course, for this special occasion, it happens for the first time ever...” she laughed a little while she still stood in the rain, hugging herself.

 

Daryl nodded while he chewed on his lip, pondering his next move for a second. “Get in. I'll give ya a ride home and you can call for a tow then.”

 

“Thank you.” Sam quickly climbed into the passenger seat, before she wrapped her arms back around herself. “Shit, that rain is fucking icy.” she mumbled while she tried to keep her teeth from chattering, not wanting to sound too pitiful.

 

“Yeah. Better get dry before ya call the garage.” Daryl said quietly while he got them moving. “Gonna catch death otherwise.”

 

“You're right. Can't have that. Need to make money to get that baby back up and running.” she shivered hard and let out another little laugh. “Ironic, huh? I left my jacket at home, because I was going to be in the car and wouldn't need it.”

 

“This'll teach ya...” Daryl shrugged while he kept his eyes on the road.

 

“I guess it will.” Sam nodded with a smile. She wasn't very fazed by Daryl's inability to say something nice. He was giving her a ride, so instead of saying something nice, he was doing something nice. What more could she ask for?

 

“Where do you live?” he asked as soon as they had passed the town line.

 

“Summit Street.” she told him, then they fell silent again until they had reached the street. “Right here.”

 

Daryl stopped the truck right next to a small house with dark wood paneling. It didn't look too inviting, but who was he to judge? He lived in a trailer with Merle, which didn't look very cozy either.

 

“Would you like to come in? For a coffee? I feel like just saying thank you isn't enough. You were a life saver tonight. Maybe even quite literally.”

 

Daryl looked thoughtful while he once again chewed his lip as he eyed the house. A coffee sounded good and he didn't feel like going back to Merle yet, especially since he had planned on not going home at all tonight... But still... “Nah, I'm just gonna go grab a bite-”

 

“I can make you a sandwich.” she quickly interrupted him. “Or something else. Please. It's the least I can do.”

 

He was still hesitant. She was able to see it in his expression. In that moment Daryl reminded Sam of a scared, abandoned dog, who was straying along some dark alleys, looking for food and a warm place to sleep. “It's alright...” she suddenly heard herself say, like she was truly talking to a dog, who was ever so slowly inching closer to her, while she held her hand out for him to sniff, showing him that he could trust her. “I don't mind... Just wanna return the favor. And I make a good ham and cheese sandwich, if I might say so myself.” she coaxed with a smile.

 

“Fine.” he grumbled, sounding like it was a huge sacrifice, before he killed the engine and got out of the car.

* * *

_Never judge a book by its cover, huh?_ Daryl looked around a bit while Sam quickly put on some dry clothes. The interior was nothing like the exterior of the house. It was warm and cozy. A big, plush couch with, like, 7 throw pillows and a colorful crocheted blanket on it. Thick, dark red candles on almost every flat surface in the room, which right now was basked in the warm glow of two, black IKEA table lamps on both sides of her couch. She was using an old mason jar as a vase for some slowly wilting, burgundy tulips. Two shelves were filled with DVDs, CDs, books and some tchotchkes here and there. Framed black and white pictures of miscellaneous flowers hung on the walls. Any personal pictures of her or family and friends were missing though. 

 

“Please, have a seat and make yourself at home. I'll make coffee and those sandwiches. Feel free to put on music if you'd like.” she said after she had changed into black sweatpants and a gray hoodie.

 

Daryl looked around again, but wasn't able to find a CD player. The only thing he found was something that looked like speakers, with one of them Mp3 players stuck in there. He had no idea how to work those, so he let it be instead of making a fool of himself. He took a seat on the couch and waited, wondering what the hell he was even doing here. This wasn't his thing, but he hadn't been able to forget about what she had said to him a couple of weeks ago. About how she thought he was better than Merle. Just like Merle was still guessing why she seemed so familiar, Daryl was now thinking constantly about that little statement of hers.  _Maybe I'm ready to hear her answer about why she thinks that... Maybe that's why I came in here,_ Daryl mused, but he wasn't sure. 

 

It took a little while, but eventually Sam returned to the living room, carrying a tray, which contained two big coffees and two plates with what looked like grilled sandwiches with potato chips on the side.  _Guess I'm getting a warm meal today after all._ His happiness about it didn't show though. Not in the way of a smile, but maybe in the way he immediately dug in, grunting a little when the food hit his taste buds. 

 

Sam smiled and took a bite of her own. Daryl's table manners were nothing new. She probably would have hated them in every other guy, but with Daryl, it was strangely endearing. She didn't know why she thought that. She wasn't able to put her finger on it, but there was just something about him. “I called a tow truck. He's gonna bring the car here later.”

 

“Why ain't he taking it to the shop? If it ain't drivin' no more, how you gonna get it there?”

 

“I can't pay to have it fixed right now, so really no sense in having him take it to the shop.” She told him before she took a sip from her coffee. Then she smiled. “Unfortunately not everyone is so generous with their tips as you are.”

 

“Stop.” he told her and looked up at her almost bashfully. “Was nothing.”

 

“Maybe to you it wasn't.”

 

Daryl didn't reply. He wolfed down the rest of the sandwich and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his flannel. “Thanks.”

 

“Was nothing.” she smirked, throwing his own words back at him. She broke out into a giggle, when he paused in his tracks and shook his head a little with the hint of a smirk.

 

“Alright.” he took a sip of coffee and looked back and forth between the mug and Sam's face, pondering if it would be okay to ask her something. “Ya said you're from South Carolina?”

 

“I did?” Sam looked at him in surprise.

 

“Mhm. First day... Merle asked ya...”

 

“Oh that's right. Wow, and you remembered that?”

 

“Got a good memory I s'ppose.” he shrugged and took another sip of coffee.

 

“Obviously. I envy you. My memory's got more holes in it than a freaking colander, ever since I...” she trailed off, thinking about River. Pregnancy brain had been a real thing and somehow it had turned into mommy brain and even though her son wasn't with her right now, she was still suffering from it.

 

“Ever since ya, what?” he pressed, noticing the sadness that briefly passed over her features. That intrigued him a little. At the diner she was smiling constantly. He didn't spend too much time thinking about it, he'd just written her off as one of those chicks who simply were always fucking happy and cheerful, but obviously, he had been wrong.

 

“Um... for a while... I've had it for a while. I guess I'm just getting old.” she covered and smiled again, but Daryl was onto her now and he noticed that it didn't quite reach her eyes this time.

 

“Pffff, right. How old are ya? Like 25 or something?”

 

“You think I'm 25?!?! Oh wow, you just pretty much made my entire month.” Sam laughed.

 

“So what is it then?” he asked, his voice a bit rougher again. Somehow he felt like she was laughing at him, even though she wasn't doing that at all.

 

“Definitely older than 25. But did you know that it is a proven fact that women start falling apart at age 26, while men just get better with age? Ain't that a bitch?” She laughed, making Daryl let out a bit of an amused scoff. “I'm older than 26, too, which means my own personal process of falling apart has already started. Hence the colander-like memory.”

 

“Hm.” he acknowledged with a nod, before he got back to his initial question. “Where's home, then?”

 

“Charleston.”

 

“How the fuck did ya end up here? This town's like population zero compared to Charleston.” Daryl asked and once again noticed how her expression changed. He narrowed his eyes and zeroed in on hers, while she stared at a pillow she was fumbling around with.

 

“I just did.” she murmured.

 

“How long you been here?”

 

“About a year.”

 

“Thought you said ya ain't haven't been here long.”

 

“I know. And I meant it. What's a year? It goes by so fast. But then again... I guess it can also feel like half a lifetime.”

 

There it was. Daryl started to recognize what he was seeing in her eyes. That look she had in them, he'd seen it before. 

 

“What about you?” Sam quickly caught herself and turned the conversation around to him, even though she already knew the answer. “Have you always lived here?”

 

“Yeah. Born and raised.” he replied. “I'm surprised you had to ask. Thought ya already knew all about us.” he said, a touch of reproach tinging his words.

 

“I said I knew all about Merle. Not about you.” she smiled.

 

“Right.” he said curtly. “But if ya know my brother, then ya know me. Ain't no difference. Said it before.”

 

“You're wrong.” Sam insisted.

 

“Nah. You're the one that's wrong. You don't know nothin'.”

 

“I know that you're a good person.”

 

“I ain't.”

 

“You are.”

 

“Stop.”

 

“Why? Why is it so hard for you to accept that people think you're nice?”

 

“It's all bullshit.”

 

“It's not.”

 

“Don't care. I gotta go.” he said abruptly and slammed his coffee mug down on the table before he got up.

 

“What?” She was genuinely surprised about him getting so upset over this. “We're just talking. Why are you running away?”

 

She had gotten up from the couch as well and was following him to the door. She almost bumped smack into his chest when he whirled around all of a sudden and got right into her face. “Why don't you tell me? Seems like you know all about running away.” he spat, stunning her into silence. She looked at him with wide eyes, wondering how on Earth he knew. Daryl glared at her, for the first time holding eye contact for longer than a split-second, then he turned back around and left without another word.

* * *

The next day none of the Dixons came into the diner during her shift, and for once she was glad about it. She was wondering if maybe Merle did remember who she was. Or maybe Daryl knew? Maybe he'd been at the club once, she just hadn't noticed him? Whatever it was, she was glad that she didn't have to see them at work today. It made her forget about last night's incident with Daryl. Somehow he had figured her out, just like she thought she might have him figured out, and yeah, it wasn't really the nicest feeling. It made her feel vulnerable and naked. She understood at least a little why Daryl had been upset. But then again, she didn't. He was being “accused” of being a nice person, while he now seemed to know that she was someone who ran far, far away from her problems, hiding out until they went away. 

 

For the first time since working at the diner, her smile was a little forced, and she was glad when she was back home on her couch in the afternoon. She curled up on the sofa with some old romance novel and a cup of peppermint tea. Yeah, her life was so rock'n' roll these days... but this was what it was supposed to be like. This was what she needed. She felt comfortable with her new routine.

She was engrossed in the story, but after about an hour of reading, she suddenly heard weird noises outside. She perked her ears and listened more closely. There it was again. Clanging and some kind of rattling. She carefully pushed the blanket off her legs and got up from the sofa. Her heart started beating faster. She had no idea what to do if someone would be trying to break in. In broad daylight no less. She didn't even have a baseball bat. She tiptoed over to the window, holding her breath. Nothing at the side of the house. She went over to the window by the front door, her heart stopping for a second when she noticed someone moving around outside in the driveway. She carefully moved the drapes a little and peeked outside.

 

“What in the world?” she frowned and the tension left her body. The view that greeted her was absolutely unexpected, but at least it wasn't an intruder. Not in that sense. She opened the door and stepped outside, alerting the man, who was hunched over the open hood of her Jetta, to her presence. “Daryl?”

 

“Even though it don't drive, you should lock yer damn car.” he rasped under his breath.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Tryin' to fix it.”

 

“Why?” she was absolutely confused by him being there and doing this.

 

Daryl shrugged a little and with a little shake of his head, he looked at her, giving her the tiniest of smiles with the upturned corners of his lips. “Got nothin' else to do.” he replied like it was the most logical thing in the world, and went back to work.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

 

**Thank you so much for the lovely feedback. Have a great weekend everyone.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

“ _I'm trying to fix it.”_

 

Sam watched Daryl bend back over the engine of her old Jetta, his words echoing inside her head. It almost felt like they had some kind of double meaning, but since he didn't have anything to apologize for, Sam was sure that she was just reading into it too much. She just looked at him for a moment before she went down the steps and joined him by her car.

 

“You really don't have to, Daryl. I appreciate it, but... ” she trailed off when he didn't seem to be listening.

 

No reply. Not even a reaction. He just kept looking around, trying to find out why her car wasn't working anymore.

 

“I mean,... do you even know anything about cars?”

 

“Mhm.” he gave her another one of his trademark grunts.

 

“Oh. Okay.” Sam shut up for a moment, not quite knowing what to do or say. “Uummm... you need anything?”

 

“Nah, I'm good.”

 

“Okay. But if you get thirsty or hungry, come inside, alright?”

 

Daryl finally looked up at her at that. His eyes flicked back and forth between Sam and the ground a couple of times, before he pressed his lips together and gave kind of an awkward nod. It had Sam smiling and fighting to suppress a giggle. She was sure Daryl had no idea how cute he acted sometimes.

 

Daryl watched her go until she was back inside the house and out of sight. The truth was, that he had no idea why he had come back here. It seemed like the right thing to do though. She was nice enough and was having car troubles. He knew a bit about fixing cars and had nothing but time on his hands. It felt good being able to help someone out. In retrospect, it had also felt good to be invited in for coffee and sandwiches after he had given her a lift. Nobody had ever done that before. Well, admittedly, he hadn't helped people out too much before. Not when Merle had been around as well. Talking to someone who wasn't Merle had been nice, too, which was surprising to him, because he wasn't much for talking usually. Maybe all of that had made him come back today, because for about an hour, all of this had been able to make him feel like he was his own person, and not just Merle's younger brother.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Daryl knocked on Sam's front door. She had said to come in, but he wasn't sure if she had really meant to just go in there like he owned the place.

 

“Hey.” she smiled brightly at him. “You didn't have to knock. Come on in.” she stepped aside and let him enter.

 

“Found out what's wrong.” he mumbled. “Your fuel pump is shot ta hell. You're gon' need a new one.” he held something up in his grease stained hands, and Sam guessed that it was the fuel pump. “Ain't no gas reaching the engine without this thing working properly. That's why it ain't startin' no more.”

 

“That sounds pricey.” Sam sighed.

 

“Don't have to be.” Daryl told her. “Maybe between 50 and 100 bucks. Maybe less. I'm gonna ask around. Know some people at the scrap yard. That's where we go first when I need something for the truck, or Merle for his bike.”

 

“Really? You can do that?”

 

“Mhm. Might take a couple of days, though. Maybe longer.”

 

“That's okay. I don't use the car too much anyway, but it's very useful for shopping. And I might need it more in the future.”

 

“If I find a fuel pump, I'll put it in for ya.”

 

“Thank you, Daryl. That's really sweet of you.” Daryl was able to see in Sam's expression that she was truly grateful, and it caused the corners of his mouth to tug up a little again. “Come on, let's sit down. The chicken's done just now. You're staying for an early dinner, right?” Sam had made that dinner early just so she would be able to provide a meal to say thank you for his efforts.

 

“Umm...”

 

“Awesome.” Sam smiled, not taking no for an answer, and pointed towards her small dining table in the corner of the living room. “Have a seat. What would you like to drink?”

 

He shrugged. He didn't want to inconvenience her in any way, and saying that he would like a beer, seemed like an inconvenience to him. “Dunno.”

 

“I have water, I have cherry nectar, I have soda,... what else do I have? Oh yeah, hazelnut milk. Well, it's not really milk. It's vegan. It's like milk made out of hazelnuts. I'm not vegan. I love meat, but sometimes I get the feeling I might be lactose intolerant,...” she quickly stopped herself before she would tell him about the trouble regular milk sometimes gave her digestive system. He did not need to know that, especially when they were about to have dinner. “Anyway, it's delicious. If you like hazelnuts, that is...”

 

“Soda.” his expression didn't give away the amusement he felt on the inside. She hadn't been lying about being a talker. That was okay, though. He was used to it, because of Merle. It was just a nice change of pace that she was the good kind of talker, unlike his older brother.

 

“Coming right up.” she smiled, then she cringed. “Geez, taking work home, aren't I?”

 

“Want me to wash up or something?” he asked in his gruff voice before she was able to leave the room.

 

“That's okay. I like it dirty.” She smiled, until she realized what she had said. Her eyes widened, just when she thought Daryl's had widened just a little bit as well. “Oh God... that sounded... umm... that's not what I meant... I'll, ummm... I'll be right back.” She quickly left for the kitchen and brought him the soda in a tall glass filled with ice cubes, then she proceeded to bring the food over. She filled up his plate first before putting chicken, mashed potatoes and sweet corn on her own, and by the time she had sat down, Daryl was already eating in his hurried and sloppy trademark manner. “I'm sorry about yesterday.” Sam said after a moment, making Daryl halt all movement in surprise.

 

“Why?”

 

“I didn't mean to step on your toes... or something like that. I don't know. I felt like I maybe went too far in some way, and I wanted to apologize for that. I shouldn't have kept going even though I noticed that you were getting uncomfortable. I'm really sorry about that and I won't do it again.”

 

“You did nothing wrong.” Daryl told her quietly. He wanted to say more, maybe apologize for getting in her face, but the words didn't come out. “Dunno... just... dunno.”

 

Sam nodded and cleared her throat, before she asked him the question that had been on her mind a lot in the past 24 hours. “How did you know I was running away from something?”

 

“Signs are all there.” Daryl shrugged. “It was all over you when I asked ya about home.”

 

“Right. And your brother? He still wondering if he knows me from before?

 

“Think he gave up. Haven't heard anything about it in a while.”

 

That made Sam relax a great deal. This way Merle would never be able to taunt her about having seen her naked, and he wouldn't be able to tell Daryl. She didn't know exactly why she didn't want Daryl to know, because she truly wasn't ashamed for that, but somehow, she figured he wouldn't react too kindly to the news. It was a strong feeling she had.

 

“What happened?” Daryl's voice broke through her train of thoughts.

 

“What?”

 

“What were ya running from?” he asked, even though he was sure he knew the answer already. The look in her eyes last night had told him enough.

 

“The usual, I guess... Shitty ex-boyfriend...”

 

“Hm... sucks....” Daryl grunted before he took a sip from the ice-cold soda. “And ya had to leave the state to get away from that prick?”

 

“Yeah. It's complicated. Had to go off the grid for a while. Until he found a new hobby...”

 

“He tried ta find ya, huh?”

 

She sighed deeply, before she smiled apologetically. “I'm sorry, Daryl, but I really don't want to talk about it.”

 

“Fair enough.” he scoffed lightly. He didn't need her to tell the whole story. He was pretty sure he was able to figure it out. The guy had beat her up. One time it had been worse than all the other times before and that's when she had decided to run. The guy had tried to come after her and she had fled to the shittiest, tiniest place in the world she had been able to find and reach with the financial means she'd had left. Wasn't that how the story always went? But he kinda got why she didn't want to tell him all that. They weren't best friends or anything. “What's the plan? You gonna stay here or move to a bigger city again?”

 

“I wanna stay here. I like it here, believe it or not.”

 

“Not the worst, I guess.”

 

“It's beautiful, actually. The landscape and all? The lake and the forest with all the cabins? I love taking walks there.” she smiled wistfully.

 

“Really?” Daryl looked at her in surprise. Her liking being out in nature earned her some brownie points with him.

 

“Yeah. Unfortunately I haven't had too much time to do it. One time I sat in the grass by the water for a couple of hours and just watched the lake. It's so peaceful and quiet out there. I really love it. But I don't feel like walking alone **all** the time, and Becky isn't a fan of just walking around by the lake, so I'm really not doing it as much as I'd like. Also, lately my feet hurt like a bitch.”

 

“Cause of waitressin'?” 

 

“Exactly. Have to get used to it first. But it's getting better every day.”

 

“What you do before?” Daryl asked her with a slightly curious expression on his face. It was a little weird to him that he had never run into her before. This was a small town after all, and according to her she had been here for a year, and yet he hadn't seen her before. 

 

She had known he would ask eventually, but it still startled her when he did it now. “Hold on, I think I left the oven on.” she quickly got up and left the room. Of course hadn't left it on, she knew that for sure, and she hated lying and putting on an act, but the stripper conversation was one she really didn't want to have right now. It was so nice being able to talk to a guy who didn't know and she really enjoyed Daryl's company, even though he never really gave her the impression that the feeling was mutual. She went back a moment later and smiled. “Would you like some more chicken? And a fresh soda?”

 

Once again, he hesitated and Sam had to coax him a little. “It's alright, it's no trouble at all.”

 

Daryl quickly nodded upon her reassurance. He hadn't had a home-cooked meal in ages, even if it was just a chicken, some corn and mashed potatoes made out of that powdery stuff, it was still food someone else had cooked for him. Someone who wasn't getting paid to do so. It made the simple dish taste so much better. He would gladly have a second helping and he was very glad that she seemed pretty insistent on him having it. It made accepting it easier for him.

 

He cleaned his plate a second time, while Sam wasn't even done eating her first helping yet. He leaned back in his chair and slowly drank his soda while he watched her push her food around on her plate. She didn't seem to be very hungry.  _ Probably one of 'em picky eaters. Too worried 'bout fittin' into her damn pants to enjoy her food. Ain't never gone hungry, huh girl?  _ Daryl crossed his arms in front of his chest, tucking his hands underneath his armpits. “Ya didn't answer my question.”

 

Sam startled out of her thoughts and her eyes swept up from the tabletop. She got distracted for a moment, when her gaze landed on his shoulders. With the way he was sitting, she noticed how built he actually was in that department. She wondered how she had never noticed that before, but then again, she hadn't really checked him out or anything. “I'm sorry, what?” she asked and shook herself out of it, before her eyes landed on his face.

 

“What did ya do before ya worked at Patsy's?”

 

“Eerrm...” she wasn't a fan of lying, and she didn't want to do it twice in one day, so she decided to share at least a small part of the truth for now, hoping to steer him away from the job question for the time being. “To be completely honest, a lot of the past year is...” she trailed off when a phone started to ring. She looked around while Daryl shoved a hand in his pants pocket. He dug out his ringing cell phone and grunted when he read the display. 

 

“What?” he asked not too friendly after accepting the call. Sam was able to hear Merle's voice on the other end, but she wasn't able to hear what he was saying. 

 

“ _ **Where the fuck are ya?”**_

 

“None of your damn business.” Daryl spat back at Merle. “What's the matter?”

 

“ _ **I need a ride. Get your sorry ass over to Tommy's. Now.”**_ Merle disconnected the call, leaving no room for discussion.

 

Daryl bit back a sigh. He briefly chewed on his lip while he shoved the phone back into his pocket, his eyes peeking up at Sam, looking half-apologetic. “Gotta run.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Sam was kind of relieved, because now she didn't have to reply to his question at all. “Thank you so much for today, Daryl. One thing though.”

 

“What?”

 

“Next time, please let me know when you are outside, so I won't get the shock of my life, thinking intruders are trying to break in?” she smiled a bit sheepishly, a little embarrassed to admit that she had panicked for a moment.

 

“Fine.” he nodded. He grabbed the broken fuel pump and hesitated at the door for a short moment. He bowed his head and did that peeking up thing (she was kind of growing to like very much). “Thanks for dinner.”

 

“No. Thank **you**.” she smiled. “Those angel wings you're wearing? You're most certainly doing them justice.”

 

He was just about to scoff again, fully intent on leaving without another word once more, but he knew he'd only keep asking himself the same question over and over again. “Why?” he turned back around to face her fully. He stared at her almost challengingly. “Why ya keep sayin' shit like that?”

 

“You really have to ask? Don't you see it?” she asked with a hint of surprise in her expression as she took a step closer. 

 

“See what?”

 

“That you are someone who does nice things. You keep saying that you are like your brother, when clearly you two couldn't be more different. I barely know you and I'm already able to tell.”

 

“You don't kno-”

 

“I don't know shit. Yeah, I know. You keep telling me. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't think I am, but it might still be a possibility. I've only talked to you so much...” she shrugged. “But what about the people who've known you for longer? Like, all your life? They think you're a good person as well. That you are nothing like Merle. Are you saying all of us are wrong?”

 

He was biting his lip again... shrugging, while he looked down at the floor. “Dunno.”

 

“We aren't. I mean, Daryl... I gave you two lousy aspirin pills and you gave me a 10 dollar tip. The whole freaking bottle of aspirin only cost me about 5 bucks... You could have bought two bottles with that money. You gave me a ride when I was walking out in the rain-”

 

“Everybody would have done that.”

 

“No... actually. Two cars drove straight past me. So clearly not everybody does that. But you did. And then you even offer to fix my car. That's what kind and generous people do, Daryl. Why do you keep trying to convince yourself and others that you're like Merle? It's not true. Not from where I stand.”

 

“Pfff, again, girl... you don't fucking know me.” he scoffed. 

 

“Okay,... then let me get to know you.”

 

“Right.” he said dismissively, starting to turn back to the door.

 

“No. I'm serious. Give me a couple of weeks to get to know you and then ask me again if I still think you're different than him.”

 

“You're outta your fucking mind. Ain't gonna do no such thing.” he opened the front door and looked back at her one last time. “Gonna let ya know about the fuel pump.”

 

And with that he was gone. Sam had a weird feeling in her stomach. She was sad, but she didn't really know why. Maybe because he had left? She really liked having him around, even though he seemed reluctant half the time. She liked talking to him, even though it always kind of ended badly. She liked his cute little mannerisms. For someone with his bad boy looks, he really could be pretty adorable. Or maybe she was sad for him because he seemed to be thinking pretty lowly of himself? She knew what that felt like. She had been there, and she knew how important it was to have someone to tell you otherwise. But he would never believe her, because he didn't know or trust her enough. That's why she would love being his friend, because then one day, maybe he would listen to her. Unfortunately it seemed like Daryl Dixon didn't do the whole “being friends”-thing. 

 

_ Too damn bad. _

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

 

**Special thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a comment. It means the world.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

Merle shrugged on a shirt and kicked Daryl's foot none too gently. “Get off your ass and let's go.”

 

“I told you, I ain't goin'. Got stuff to do.” Daryl grumbled in return.

 

“Yeah, right. And I got a fuckin' audience with the Pope today.” Merle sneered and put his hands on his hips, waiting for Daryl to get up from the sofa. “What? Sneaked yourself in a titty magazine and wanna spend some time discovering your sweet, virgin body?”

 

Daryl hated himself for it, but he blushed. He quickly lowered his head, letting his hair fall more in his face. “Shut up, Merle.”

 

“Come on, now, 'fore I kick your ass into gear.”

 

“I ain't lyin', man. Gotta go do somethin'. Ain't got time to watch you get high. Told ya that I ain't goin' back to that tweaker jerk anyway.”

 

“Don't be such a fucking pussy, man. You're still alive, aren't ya?”

 

“Ain't goin'. Take yourself on the bike. I need the truck.”

 

“Why? Where ya goin'?”

 

“None of your business.”

 

“You can either tell me or I can follow you around. Your choice.” Merle grinned, loving how exasperated his little brother was getting. He didn't mind Daryl doing his own thing, he was just used to having his baby bro around all the time and it had him curious when Daryl had other plans.

 

“Fine. I gotta go to the scrapyard.” Daryl finally revealed his plan for today.

 

“Why? Something wrong with the truck?”

 

“Nah.”

 

“What the hell you going there for then?” Merle kept asking, and Daryl knew trying to keep it from him would be a waste of time. Merle never let up until he'd had enough.

 

“That girl from the diner? Sam? Found her stranded a couple miles outta town the other night. She ain't got the cash to take it to the shop, so I'm fixin' it for her, alright?” Daryl tried to act as if it wasn't a big deal,... like he did something like that every day, but his cheeks started heating up even more under Merle's curious gaze.

 

Merle looked at Daryl with an unreadable expression while his brain processed the information. “She payin' ya?”

 

“She's payin' for the parts... Ain't talked about the rest yet.” Daryl said, but he already knew that he wouldn't take any payment for the work he would put in. Wouldn't feel right.

 

“Always the sweet one, huh? Helpin' out damsels in distress out of the goodness of your pretty little heart now?” Merle teased him with his trademark grin. “You banging her? I ain't stupid, I see how she keeps lookin' over to our table. Of course I thought it was because of little ol' me, but now... Now I'm thinkin' she's makin' eyes at you, baby brother.”

 

Daryl's face was fire engine red by now, and he wanted nothing more than to get out of this conversation. “Shut the hell up, Merle. Ain't nobody making no eyes at no one.”

 

Of course him getting upset and all red in the face over Merle's statement, didn't do anything to convince Merle. “Awwwww... are ya finally havin' your first crush on someone? You should make her pay you in kind... you know? A little trade? She might not have any money, but she's got a nice rack... pretty little mouth... Bet she'd love to pay you by putting those things to good use.” Merle snickered, letting Daryl push him out of the way by shoving him against the chest.

 

“You're a fucking asshole, Merle.”

 

“Come on, don't get upset. I'm happy for y'all. She's a hot little thing, you could do worse.” Merle was still laughing while Daryl shot him a dark glare before he climbed into his truck. He took off like a bat out of hell, while Merle locked the trailer before strolling over to his bike, still quietly chuckling to himself.

* * *

Daryl wasn't in luck. He didn't find a fuel pump for Sam's car. After coming up empty, he talked to Taylor, the owner of the scrapyard, telling him what he was looking for, and showing him the broken fuel pump. Taylor promised to ask around and keep an eye out. He had Daryl's number and would contact him as soon as he would find the replacement part for Sam's Jetta.

 

_That didn't take long...,_ Daryl thought with an internal sigh. He sat in his truck for a moment, thinking about what to do now. Going home to watch TV?  _Nope._ Going to join Merle?  _No way in fucking hell._ Going out of town to enjoy the solitude of the woods?  _Bingo._

 

He turned the key in the ignition to start his truck, and about 15 minutes later he was already strolling through the woods, enjoying the sound of the leaves rustling with every step he took. His mind went back to a little earlier, when Merle had ribbed him about helping out Sam. Of course Merle's mind had gone straight to sex. _That's all he ever cares about. He don't know nothing. A guy can help out a girl without banging her. Ain't nothin' to it. And she sure as hell ain't makin' eyes at me. She's just being nice, sorta. He's a jackass._

 

Daryl came up on a hunting blind and climbed up to sit up there and just let his mind wander. He wanted to make some changes, but he still wasn't sure how to do it, or if he would actually able to do it. He needed to put some distance between himself and his older brother. Not move out of the trailer and live alone, but at least spend a couple of hours a day without Merle. Daryl didn't want to be around all the dealers and Merle's fellow druggies anymore, either. But what would he do all day long? He needed something to do. _Maybe it's time to find a job... But who's gonna hire me? Ain't never really done anything before. Got no experience, no recommendations and shit. I wouldn't even fucking pass any damn interviews. Gotta sell yourself in those. How do ya sell someone a worthless piece of shit? I ain't got no clue. Merle could do it... He could literally talk someone into giving him their job... That ain't me though. Talking ain't my thing. Fuck..._ He sighed deeply and rubbed his face with his hands, suddenly feeling exhausted. _Maybe I should take Sam's deal... Hang out with her. That would get me out of the house for a couple of hours. But I got nothing to prove to her. Don't know why she cares so much anyway. We barely know each other. Just 'cause you see someone every day for a couple of weeks, doesn't mean that ya know them. I know shit about her. Don't even know her last name. Just know where she works, where she lives, that she got beat up by her ex, and that she came runnin' here. Still hasn't told me what she used to do before Patsy's... She's nice, though. Seems trustworthy,... but I don't wanna hang out with her if she's only doing it to prove a point. I ain't some kind of guinea pig..._

 

Daryl's thoughts were moving in circles. He found ways to change something about his life, but a moment later he found excuses why he couldn't or wouldn't make those ways work. It went on for hours, before he climbed down from the blind and went back to Blue Ridge, where he got himself a burger to go at the drive-thru, before he went back to the trailer park in order to continue his brooding at home.

* * *

_Sam sat on a bench on the playground she had practically grown up on. It belonged to the gated community her parents had lived in. When she saw the slide, she remembered how she and the other kids had tried to run up on it. Sometimes they had failed miserably, because they had lost their footing, had fallen on their front and had slid down to the ground on their bellies. It had been fun, though. They had done that over and over again, before they would sit down on the platform, talking about this and that... whatever kids talked about. She didn't really remember any conversations. Next up had been the swings, trying to see who would be able to swing up the highest, only to jump off when they got there. Bruises and scraped knees and palms had often been the result, but again, it had been fun. She remembered playing in the sandbox with a little toy kitchen, which had belonged to her grandmother. She had loved that kitchen and she kept wondering where it had ended up._

 

_The sun was setting, and Sam enjoyed the last rays with a content smile on her face. When the skies were tinged with red and orange, she got up from the bench and left the playground, walking down the street towards her parents' old house. Just before she reached the navy blue-colored front door, it opened. Sam felt her cheeks hurting from smiling so big, when Daryl appeared, wearing that tiny smile where the corners of his mouth tugged up. “Hey!” she grinned and stepped right up into his personal space. “Where are you going?” she asked while she felt his hands slide to the small of her back, pulling her even closer._

 

“ _Just goin' out for a little bit. Gon' be back before you know it.” Daryl's voice was calm and soft. He was nuzzling her nose during the last part, making butterflies erupt inside of Sam's belly._

 

“ _Alright.” she smiled, just before Daryl closed the gap and kissed her, tenderly at first. Sam felt excitement rush through her, paired with those happy little flutters that made it hard to breathe. At the same time she felt safe and warm and content when he kissed her. It felt familiar and right._

 

“ _Mmm.” he grunted, and took a step back into the house._

 

“ _Daryl! What are you doing?” Sam giggled against his lips._

 

“ _Changing my mind.” he muttered, while he pushed her up against the wall._

 

_Sam's flutters turned into pleasurable clenching, when Daryl's kisses changed. He was kissing her the same way he ate his meals at the diner... with gusto. Like he was a starving man and he needed her pronto so he would live to see another day. It was a pretty good feeling, and she let him know, by making little noises in the back of her throat. She released a louder moan, when his tongue swept through her mouth, before it found her own tongue and they let them roam and swirl along each other. Her fingers knotted in his hair at the back of his neck, holding on for dear life. She was just about to hike her leg up around his hip, when an annoying beeping sound broke the spell they were under._

 

Sam slowly blinked open her eyes and blindly reached over to the nightstand to turn off her alarm, while she stared at the ceiling with a frown. Her other hand came up and she softly touched two fingers to her lips. They were still tingling. The kiss had felt so real, she was tempted to get up and look for an intruder who had kissed her in her sleep just now. The feeling of Daryl's tongue in her mouth was still kind of there, like it had literally just happened, but it was slowly fading. It made her shiver, and it made certain parts of her anatomy tingle as well. But it wasn't just the kiss. It had been that feeling of familiarity and shared intimacy as well. It truly had felt so right and so good.

 

She sat up and stretched a little, then she briefly rubbed her face, trying to rub some life into it. “Weird.” she said to herself when she thought about the kiss once more. She hadn't really seen Daryl in over a week, so it seemed weird to her that she'd had a dream about him. He either avoided her for whatever reason or it was just bad timing and he came in when she wasn't working, which seemed to be the more likely explanation. She had worked a lot of late shifts, and the Dixons mostly came in in the mornings and/or around lunch time. Why would he avoid her anyway? He had offered to fix her car after all. That was not exactly avoiding someone. Anyway, she had to admit that she did miss seeing him every day. Maybe the dream had just been her subconscious acting up over that. Nothing major... people sometimes had random dreams like that... However, this particular dream left her with some urges she would have to take care of while she was taking a shower. “Better get going then...” she murmured while she swung herself out of bed and headed for the shower.

* * *

“Are we still on for tonight?” Becky asked Sam during their shift at the diner.

 

“Of course, why shouldn't we be?” Sam smiled while she tore a small page off her pad and clipped it on the order wheel.

 

“Just making sure. I thought that guy at table 6 slipped you his number?” She grinned as she grabbed the carafe full with hot, fresh coffee.

 

“Oh God. I already tossed it in the trash. Told you, I don't need a guy right now.” Sam laughed.

 

“Too bad. He's hot.”

 

“Not really my type.”

 

“You always say that!” Becky shook her head with a smile. The girls stopped their chat for a moment to tend to their customers, before they met back up behind the counter. “What is your damn type, then?”

 

“I don't know. Wild boys with a heart of gold?” Sam sighed dreamily. “A big wildcat that likes to cuddle? He definitely has to be into kissing. I love kissing. Like, spending a Sunday afternoon spread out on the couch, just making out like teenagers... yeah, a guy who can get into that is definitely my type. Actually, you know what my type really is? The type that loves me unconditionally and exactly the way I am.” Sam nodded decisively and turned to face the customers at the counter. She gasped when she unexpectedly stared into the ever-scowling face of Daryl Dixon. Immediately the images and feelings from her dream came rushing back to her, and also, the memory of what she had done after with the help of the shower head. She blushed and lost the ability to speak for a moment. It was the weirdest feeling seeing him in person, today of all days. “Daryl... hey.” she finally managed, way too hesitantly for her own taste.

 

As usual, she didn't get a verbal reply. He was chewing on his bottom lip, while he looked at her. He wasn't looking into her eyes, though. She wasn't sure, but he almost seemed to be studying her, like Merle had done so many times during the first month she had worked at Patsy's. She got a little nod, which she reciprocated with a little smile. “What can I get you?”

 

“Bacon cheeseburger and onion rings.”

 

“Want a coffee while you wait? Or something else to drink?”

 

“I'm good.” he said with a slight shake of his head.

 

Sam passed the order on to the kitchen, then she served food to one of the tables. “How have you been?” she asked when she came back.

 

“Ain't found a fuel pump yet.”

 

“That's not what I asked.” Sam said with a gentle smile.

 

Inexplicably, Daryl blushed a little bit. He had no idea why, but the fact that it was happening was mortifying, and it made him blush a little bit more. “Been alright.” he ultimately replied, with a bit of a friendlier expression on his face, and a little awkward movement of his head.

 

“That's good to hear.” Sam said smilingly before she went back to work, and once again Daryl asked himself why on Earth she cared so much. “Enjoy.” she said when she brought him his food a couple minutes later. Daryl nodded and started eating, but for the first time in a long time, he didn't just wolf it down as he usually would. He didn't hunch over his plate either. He stayed sitting upright, slowly eating his onion rings while his sharp blue eyes followed Sam around whenever she was near or behind the counter. Merle's words kept popping up in the back of his mind, and Daryl paid attention to how much Sam did look over at him.

 

By the time he had finished his meal Daryl had verified that Sam indeed kept looking over at him quite frequently. However, Daryl's low sense of self-worth would not let him believe that she looked at him, because she liked him. In his mind, there had to be another reason. Maybe it was just a habit to check if someone needed a refill. _But I ain't had any coffee or sweet tea or nothin' tonight..._ But habits were hard to break, so she probably had just checked out of habit anyway.

 

He didn't say goodbye. He simply left the money for the food on the counter, along with another generous tip. She was busy and didn't see him leave, but Daryl took a long look at her, before he finally exited the diner, and walked to his truck. He drove back home to the trailer he shared with Merle, and was glad to see the bike missing. It was Friday night, so with a bit of luck, Merle was on some bender for the whole weekend. This time without him. Actually, the second time without him. Daryl had successfully removed himself at least a little bit from that whole scene in the past two weeks. So far, he wasn't regretting that decision one bit. Quite the opposite actually.

 

He grabbed a beer from the small fridge, which pretty much only ever contained beer, and sprawled out on the couch. He turned on the TV, not really caring what was on, his mind was working overtime anyway, but he liked having some background noise. His mind went back to Sam and her wanting to get to know him better, just like it had every day since that night almost two weeks ago. _Don't get why she wants that. Ain't nothin' more to know. And it ain't like she told me much about herself. Didn't even tell me her age when I asked... She don't want me to get to know her, but she expects me to let her get to know me? That ain't right..._ He scoffed quietly before he took a big gulp from his beer bottle. It irked him a little that Sam hadn't been exactly forthcoming with information about herself. It had taken him quite a bit of courage to work up the nerve to ask her something, but somehow she had been able to get around giving him a straight answer a couple of times now. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he wanted those answers. With a deep sigh he had to admit to himself, that he wouldn't mind getting to know her a bit better, too. She was nice and seemed genuine. Couldn't hurt to make a friend who wasn't running in the same circles as him and Merle.

* * *

Sam was already in the locker room changing after her shift, when Becky came in with a bit of a smug look on her face. She leaned against the locker next to Sam's, and looked at her expectantly. “Alright, there is definitely something going on you 'forgot' to tell me about. Spill it, sister!”

 

“Huh? What?” Sam looked at her colleague with an expression of complete bewilderment. She had no idea what in the world Becky was talking about.

 

“Daryl?”

 

“Daryl Dixon? What about him?” Sam was frowning as she put on her comfy and warm black sweater.

 

“Oh come on, it's me! You told me he had dinner with you after your car thing... why the hell did you leave out the most interesting part? The part that happened after dinner...”

 

“Whaaaaat? Oh my God, you think I had sex with him?”

 

“Honestly, I don't quite know what to think, but something definitely happened.” Becky grinned, all eager for details.

 

“Trust me, nothing happened. I already told you exactly what happened. We ate, talked a little bit and then he left... slightly pissed off again, I assume.”

 

“Okay, then what's with the looks?” Becky laughed slightly confused.

 

“What looks?”

 

“You do know that Daryl stared at you the whole time he was here, right? Like, without break. And youuuuu, kept looking over at him pretty often, too, Missy.”

 

“No, I wasn't.” Sam shook her head with a scowl. “And he didn't stare at me neither. Please, he barely looked at me when we sat across from each other at my table.”

 

“Oh yeah? Then why did he do the thing, that usually only happens on television?”

 

“What?” Sam burst out laughing. “What the hell did he do?”

 

“When he left? He went to the door and then he lingered and looked back at you and did this...” Becky chewed on her lip to demonstrate what Daryl had done. “Thought he was gonna come back and kiss you or something.”

 

“Shut up!” Sam laughed, but she was blushing and quickly averted her gaze and turned back towards her locker.

 

“Oh, look at that...” Becky wore a teasing grin. “You want him to kiss you.”

 

“No, I don't.” Sam laughed embarrassed. “It's just a weird coincidence... the whole thing... what you just said and everything...”

 

“Why?”

 

“I shouldn't tell you, because you're gonna make a huge thing out of it, I guess, but... Last night Daryl popped up in my dream... and we kissed.”

 

“Ha! I knew it.” Becky smiled triumphantly.

 

“No, you didn't. It doesn't mean anything. It was just a dream.”

 

“Mhm.” Becky was not convinced. “How did it feel? In your dream, I mean?”

 

“It was a kiss... A kiss is a kiss.” Sam shrugged casually, not wanting to admit how damn good it had felt, and that she had ended up masturbating in the shower.

 

“Right. Fine, don't tell me. I can put two and two together without you telling me.” Becky smirked. The she finished changing and the girls finally went home to Sam's house, to have a little girl's night.

* * *

A little later that same night, Daryl got a call from the scrapyard owner. He'd been able to get the fuel pump Daryl needed.

 

Daryl thanked him and told him that he would come pick it up the next day. After he'd hung up, Daryl got up from the couch and shrugged on his leather jacket, before he grabbed his keys, went outside and got back into his truck. He drove over to Sam's house without a second thought. He'd told her that he would let her know about the pump, and that was exactly what he would do.

 

A couple of minutes later he was already knocking on Sam's door, feeling weirdly nervous while he waited.

 

“Daryl!” Sam couldn't have been more surprised, but the second she got over her surprise, a big smile broke out on her face. He had no clue why, but it made him even more nervous. “Hey.”

 

He was about to respond when he heard something fall to the floor and some cursing. He tried to look past her and frowned. “Bad time?”

 

“No, it's okay. Becky and I are just hanging out. Wanna come in?”

 

“Nah. Found a fuel pump. Said I was gonna let ya know, so...” he trailed off, suddenly feeling utterly stupid for coming over here just to tell her that.

 

“That's awesome, Daryl. I can't thank you enough.” she smiled brightly at him, while he nodded and started that lip-chewing/peeking up thing, he always did. Awkward silence descended upon them until Sam cleared her throat. “Are you sure you don't wanna come in?”

 

“I'm sure.” he said. Then he started shifting his weight and hung his head even lower, while it was his turn to clear his throat. “Maybe we can... I dunno... do something... tomorrow...” he muttered nervously. When he had finished his sentence, he peeked up at her carefully, anxiously awaiting her reply.

 

“Of course. Yeah. That sounds good. It's my day off tomorrow, so I'm free.”

 

Daryl started to breathe again. “Alright.” he turned to leave, but then he seemed to remember something. “If we're gonna do this... ya know... this getting to know me better shit? Can't just go one way. Gotta be a two-way street, or no deal.”

 

“What's that mean?”

 

“You ain't exactly talking much 'bout yourself neither. This ain't just gon' be you getting to know me. It's gon' be us getting to know each other, or nothing. Got it?” he sounded a bit defensive, but Sam suddenly became too nervous to really detect it.

 

He wanted to get to know her, too. It meant she would eventually have to open up about the past year of her life. She didn't think she was ready, but still she found herself saying yes to his demand. “Yeah, got it. Only fair.”

 

Another nod. “Alright. See ya tomorrow.” he said goodbye for once, before he turned and walked back to his car. Sam felt fluttery when she watched him leave. On one hand it was wonderful that she was getting her wish and he was giving her a chance to be his friend, on the other hand, the whole thing might turn to shit pretty quickly once he found out about her little secrets.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

 

**I just wanted to mention, that there is gonna be a definite ending for this story. It is not gonna go on forever and ever and ever. At this point I can't say yet how many chapters it's going to be, but don't worry about it ending too soon, because we are just getting started. I want to write about how their relationship blossoms and develops and how they both grow and learn through that, so there won't be a horribly long slow burn and there are gonna be some time jumps here and there, to avoid filler chapters.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

The next day around noon Daryl was knocking on Sam's front door again. He had he new fuel pump with him and was planning on putting it in today. However, pretty much all coherent thoughts were erased from his brain as soon as Sam opened the door. He felt like he had gotten the wind knocked out of him, and only one thought remained. _Damn!_

 

Now, most men might have had that kind of reaction when they saw a woman all dressed up in a sexy dress, with heels and with their hair and make-up done just right,... but not Daryl. Sam was opening the door in plaid pajama pants and a light gray hoodie with the hem of a white top peeking out from underneath it. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun, and her face was scrubbed clean of any make up. He was able to catch a whiff of some kind of lotion and her minty toothpaste. She must have just been in the bathroom to wash up, and he suddenly had trouble breathing, much to his own surprise. He was surprised by the strong reaction his body was having to her, but he was not surprised that he liked her better without make-up. He wasn't impressed by women putting on their “masks”, and hiding their true selves behind cosmetics and pretty clothes. He was the kind of guy who was impressed by this... By Sam baring the (probably) fresh out of bed and make-up free truth. Even though she probably didn't have much choice on the matter, since they hadn't talked about when he would come over. But judging by her smile and relaxed posture, she didn't seem to mind that he saw her “without her face on”. He found that he liked that a lot. He also found that her big, blue eyes were pretty distracting, now that he was seeing them “au naturel” for the first time.

 

“Hi Daryl. Come on in. I was just making breakfast.” Sam stepped aside to let him in.

 

“Breakfast? It's noon.” he scoffed in his ever so friendly manner.

 

“Becky was here until 3 am.” Sam explained while she closed the door behind him. “I was shocked when I woke up and saw that it was 11.30 am already. Guess I'm getting too old for this staying up late shit.” She laughed and led the way to the kitchen. 

 

“How old are ya?” he asked her for the second time since he'd known her.

 

“Daryl, you don't ask a woman that.” she giggled and got out her cutting board, a big knife and oranges. “How old do you think I am, now that you know I'm older than 26?”

 

“Dunno. Just fucking tell me.” he spat impatiently. 

 

“Geez, calm down. I'm just playing.” she huffed. She had thought that maybe they would be past all the gruffness by now. Apparently she had been mistaken. “I'm 31.”

 

“When's your birthday?” This second question came out a bit softer again. He was satisfied that she had answered him at last. 

 

“October 15th.” she replied as she cut the oranges in half. 

 

“That was last month.” Daryl mumbled with a frown. “That was the day ya gave me the aspirin.”

 

Sam looked up at him in utter surprise. “You remember the date??? You got an eidetic memory or something?”

“A what?” Daryl hadn't heard that term before.

 

“An eidetic memory. Do you remember every little thing about everything?”

 

“Nah... something happened on that day... that's why I remember.” Daryl explained, still shuddering when he remembered what it had felt like to have that knife pressed against his jugular. 

 

“Oh, okay.” Sam was about to ask what had happened, but the egg timer went off, signaling that their breakfast was done. “You like medium-boiled eggs?” she asked while she removed one egg at a time from the boiling water with a table spoon. 

 

“Yeah.” Daryl answered, thinking it was one of the questions that would serve to get to know him better. “Anyway, Imma get to it. Let ya eat...”

 

“Don't you dare.” Sam scoffed. “Think I'm gonna let you go outside and work while I stuff my face with all this food? Think again, buddy.” Weirdly enough, Sam had made more breakfast than usual, even though they hadn't agreed on a time for him to come over, somehow she'd had a feeling that he might show up just in time.

 

“You sure?” he asked carefully. He didn't want her to feel pressured into offering him anything.

 

“Yep. Go on, park your ass on a chair while I set the table. You want coffee?”

 

“Um... yeah.”

 

“Good. I'll have it ready in a minute. Sit down. Go.” she ushered him out of the kitchen. She finished up with the eggs, got the Pillsbury buttermilk biscuits out of the oven, juiced the oranges, and started bringing everything over to the dining table while the coffee machine brewed their coffee. Daryl sat at the table and watched her repeatedly entering and exiting the room. He still couldn't believe that she kept inviting him in and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know him. She was unlike any woman he had ever met. It was weird, refreshing and intimidating, all at the same time. 

 

Not that he'd met too many women,... mostly it had been “bar flies”, who came into the bar already drunk, looking for a random guy to pay for their drinks and to fuck them later on. Cheap and easy with tacky, slutty clothes and too much make-up. He had never been the guy to go for that. That's where he really was different from Merle. Merle didn't care with whom he got his rocks off. All he needed was a warm hole to put his cock in. Daryl wasn't able to do it like that.. He couldn't bring himself to do it with one of those women. Merle kept telling him that something was wrong with him, and Daryl figured that his older brother might have been right about that, because his need for sexual release had never outweighed the feeling of discomfort and slight terror when he thought about getting that close to someone he didn't even know. Losing control and being kind of vulnerable with a stranger was not something that appealed to Daryl at all. He'd rather have no sex at all, and so that's how it was. He didn't miss it. He was used to it. So used to it, in fact, that he hadn't even had any fantasies since his teenage years. He couldn't even imagine being with a woman anymore. It was like that part of his brain had died a long time ago, which probably was for the better. Much better than getting blue balls on a regular basis, because of a head full of fantasies he'd never be able to make come true. By now he wasn't a huge fan of pleasuring himself either, so not thinking about that stuff at all made things a lot easier for him. He was aware that he was being very weird about it all, compared to other men. That's why he thought that Merle might not be completely wrong when he said that something was not quite right with his little brother. 

 

“Thanks.” he said when he accepted a big mug full of hot coffee from her. 

 

“You're welcome.” she smiled and sat down across from him. “Any idea what we wanna do today?”

 

“Mhm. We're taking a walk.” he stated decisively. 

 

“A walk?” she was a bit amused, simply because sometimes he was so shy and careful and at other times he was gruff and assertive. He certainly wasn't too predictable. He kept her on her toes, and she was growing to like it. 

 

“You said you ain't doin' it as much as ya want.”

 

_He really is a good listener. That's a great quality. Yeah, boy... you're a good one. Nothing will convince me otherwise,_ Sam thought before she nodded with a smile. “That's right. A walk sounds good.”

 

“But first Imma fix your car. Took long enough to get that fucking pump.”

 

“Okay, but just so you know, I'd be okay if you wouldn't put it in today.”

 

“Nah, wanna do it today.”

 

“Alright. Gives me some time to make myself look presentable.” Sam said around a mouthful of buttermilk biscuit, while Daryl suddenly sat up straighter.

 

“Don't.” he muttered before he knew what he was doing.

 

“What?” Sam frowned and Daryl blushed and averted his gaze.

 

“Don't need no goop on your face for where we're goin', is all.” he shrugged. 

 

“Ha! You are seriously a breath of fresh air, Daryl Dixon.” Sam said with a big smile on her face. Her ex had always wanted to show her off, so it had kind of become a habit for her to put on some make-up before she went anywhere, even though she preferred to let her skin breathe. She had kept up that habit even after leaving her ex, because heavy make-up had been part of her stripper get-up. She had only put it on too gladly then, trying to alter her appearance as much as possible.

 

“What's that mean?” he peeked up at her, trying to hide his red cheeks by having his hair fall in his face.

 

“Exactly what I said.” She winked with a smile, making him blush even more and shake his head with a little scoff.

 

“Whatever.”

* * *

About two hours later Daryl and Sam were walking side by side up the rocky path that led up to the local waterfalls. 

 

“You're not hanging out with your brother much anymore, are you?” Sam asked after a while of companionable silence.

 

“Still see him all the time.” Daryl shrugged. “Just spendin' some time alone in between.”

 

Sam studied him a little while they walked, before she asked the next question. “It's because of that day, isn't it? When I gave you the aspirin? You said something happened then.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“What happened?” For a long moment she thought Daryl wouldn't answer the question, because he kept quiet for what seemed like a small eternity. 

 

“Almost died.” he finally uttered quietly.

 

“What? Shit! How?”

 

“Merle and I hung out at his dealer's.” He started explaining and took a quick glance at her to see her reaction to him revealing they were hanging out with dealers and drug addicts. He didn't see any reaction, though. She just nodded and waited for him to continue. He didn't know what to make of her lack of reaction, but he thought that she probably already knew that Merle liked to get high. “There was some dumb cartoon on TV. Merle was high, I was drunk... Merle started making fun of that talking dog that was on there... the tweaker started flipping out, 'cause his kid likes the show. Guess the tweaker felt guilty for never seeing his kid or something. Merle wouldn't stop... he never does. Tweaker starts punching Merle, so I start punching the tweaker, hard... real hard. Was too drunk, I reckon... he got the upper hand... pulled a knife on me. Held it to my throat... put pressure on it. I felt it... starting to break through the skin... Thought I was a goner... all over a stupid show on TV.... and 'cause Merle don't know when to shut up.”

 

Sam felt chilled to the bone at hearing what had happened. She knew all too well how panicked and scared Daryl must have been in that moment. Nobody deserved that, except for the people, who put others in these kind of situations. “How did you get out? Merle help you?”

 

“Nah.” Daryl shook his head and sighed before he went on. “Phone rang. Distracted the dealer for a second. I used that second to grab his arm, try to get that knife away from me. We wrestled around for a bit, Merle tried to get in, but he was too fucking high, I guess. He started laughing. Tweaker started laughing... He let go of me, and I left while they laughed their asses off and went back to usin'.”

 

“I'm sorry. Talk about a wake-up call, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” Daryl let out a little humorless laugh. “He's my brother, but... dunno... just puttin' some distance between myself and those fucking addicts, ya know?”

 

Sam paled and tensed up, but Daryl didn't notice, because he was staring straight ahead. “Uh... yeah. I get it.” She said, and tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She really got it, she did, but if he kept away from addicts, that would mean that he would keep away from her as well, as soon as he'd find out about her former drinking problem.

 

“Reckon you do... Your ex was an addict?” Daryl took a guess. 

 

“Nope. He's a cop.”

 

Daryl looked over at her with slightly widened eyes, because that little statement suddenly explained a lot. “Shit.”

 

“Exactly.” Sam laughed a little, but there was no humor to it. “A well-respected, upstanding police officer with many friends on the force.”

 

“Ya weren't able to talk to fucking anyone. Wouldn't have believed ya.” Daryl was able to connect the dots pretty quickly now.

 

“That's right.” Sam nodded with a deep sigh of her own. “He was also quite smart about beating me up.”

 

“How so?”

 

“He stuffed bars of soap into a pillow case... hit me hard enough to cause a lot of pain, but not hard enough to leave bruises. The soap kind of absorbs some force of the hit, so it still causes internal damage, but the skin and blood vessels don't get broken until after a while... At least that's what Google told me about it. Guess he picked that little trick up from his prison guard buddies. So, no bruises, no evidence.”

 

“That's fucked up.” Daryl would never understand how men could be so cowardly and beat up the women they were supposed to be in fucking love with, or who they at least cared for. “Lemme guess,... one night was worse than the others?”

 

“Right. Really fucked me up. I have no idea how I was able to get out and leave the state.” Sam shuddered a little when she remembered how desperate she had been... How anxious that he would find them and take River away. That he would loose it completely and actually kill her. “That's why I went completely off the grid for a while. Didn't even contact my parents for a couple of months.”

 

That brought Daryl back to a question he'd asked several times, but hadn't gotten an answer to yet. “What did ya do when ya got here? Before ya started working at Patsy's?”

 

Sam pressed her lips together and fought tears. This was the beginning of the end. She didn't know why she was suddenly getting emotional over it. It wasn't like they had deeply bonded and were inseparable, but she really wanted this friendship. She couldn't even explain why, she just felt that she wanted him around, and the prospect of losing their friendship before it had even really started, made her want to cry. “I don't wanna tell you.” she pressed out, her voice wavering. “Shit, I'm such a girl.” she quickly wiped at the tear that had leaked out of her right eye. 

 

“The hell is going on?” Daryl's temper flared up in the blink of an eye. “You're gonna tell me right now, or we're gonna stop this shit right here. Told you that it ain't just gon' be me who's doing all the talking.”

 

“I know... Look...” she took a deep breath in order to center herself. “Honestly? The first couple of months being here... before I met Patty from the diner... it's really just a big blur, Daryl.”

 

“What does that mean?” he scowled at her and crossed his arms in a defensive stance.

 

“I was scared and anxious all the time when I got here... I thought my ex might jump out from behind every fucking corner... I very quickly developed a drinking problem. Trying to drink my fears away. Just wanting my mind to get the chance to slow down and rest a bit. I'm seven and a half months sober now, but yeah... I'm an alcoholic, Daryl. With the AA meetings and the AA chips and everything.” Sam didn't dare look at him. She didn't want to see his expression change. Even though she thought his menacing scowl couldn't possibly get much worse than it already was. “You want to stay away from addicts, and I understand that completely... So... I'm guessing that we're done talking...”

 

Silence.

 

Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw him nod. “Yeah, we are.” he stated gruffly and turned around, walking back the way they had come from, leaving her standing there without another word.

 

Sam wasn't surprised, but she was still hurt. She wasn't blaming him, though. He had enough on his plate. No need to add a recovering alcoholic to that. She blamed herself, for fucking up her own and River's life with her bad decision-making. For a while she had thought that now that she was sober, things would get back on track in every aspect of her life, but she had been a fool to think that. Being an alcoholic would haunt her for the rest of her life. She tried not to cry, but it was of no use. Instead of going to see a waterfall, she created her very own one with the help of her tears, while she slowly made her way back into town, just the way she was doing pretty much everything these days: Alone.

* * *

Alcoholic. Whenever Daryl heard that term, his reaction was involuntary, but immediate. The word instantly made him think back to his parents. Back to how his mother had laid in bed all day long, drinking her wine and smoking her Virginia Slims; not caring about anything but drinking away her shitty life. Not caring that little Daryl was surviving on frozen peas from the back of the freezer, and whatever berries he'd been able to find in the woods. He thought back to his father's drunken rages. Back to the sounds of the gunshots, whenever the old bastard would shoot things he had put on top of the TV set. Back to his father sitting in his old recliner, dressed in only his underwear, drinking beer all day. The memories tied to the word “alcoholic”, truly weren't positive in any way, which is why his instinct always told him to run. Which he had done just now. But unlike putting distance between himself and Merle and all his addict pals, putting distance between himself and Sam wasn't feeling nearly as good. 

 

He wasn't able to get the whole thing off his mind. He felt like shit for walking away, and now he didn't know what to do. So far, he had associated alcoholics with bad people, and he'd had no trouble turning his back on those. Sam was different. Now that he was home and had had some time to think, he realized how ashamed she had been when she had told him. It had been all over her face. She hadn't even looked at him for the first time ever. He couldn't stop thinking about her big, blue eyes, glistening with, yet, unshed tears. She had seemed genuinely upset and ashamed... and sad. 

 

_She ain't like Mom and Pa. She ain't like Merle. She's goin' through that program. She's goin' to meetings. She's been sober for over 7 months. She's tryin'._ Just like he was trying to steer his life onto a different path. He assumed that they had that in common. Maybe that was common ground they would be able to start building their friendship thing on, he thought. Maybe they would be able to help each other. Set the other straight when they needed it. 

 

Daryl felt a little bit of hope bloom inside of him. If Sam had been able to get her shit back together after that whole thing with her ex and then turning to the bottle, maybe that meant that all hope wasn't lost for him yet, either. He'd just have to pull his head out of his ass and take some necessary steps. No more excuses.

* * *

“You look upset, Samina. Have you cried?” Liz, her mother, commented on her appearance during their Skype chat the next day. 

 

“Had a shitty day, yesterday.” Sam shrugged, not watching her mother, but her son, who was snuggled on grandma's lap, drinking out of his straw bottle. 

 

“Did you get fired?”

 

“No, of course not. Work is great.” Sam was amazed that she managed not to roll her eyes at her mother. Up until a year ago, Sam had been the perfect daughter. One slip up and now her mother only ever expected the worst from her. Admittedly, it had been a pretty huge slip up, but still. “I tried to make a friend, but he doesn't want to be friends. Changed his mind as soon as he learned that I'm in AA.”

 

“That's not surprising.” Liz scoffed. “Who would want that added drama in their lives? As soon as he would start caring about you he would have to live with the constant fear of you relapsing. You can't possibly blame him for not wanting you in his life.”

 

Tears started to gather once more in Sam's eyes. She was thinking the same thing her mother was saying, but hearing it out loud still hurt like a motherfucker. “I don't blame him. He's right.”

 

“Also, isn't it a bit soon for you to get friendly with another man?”

 

“I'm not having that conversation.” Sam quickly put the kibosh on discussing her love life or lack thereof with her mother. “How's my baby doing?”

 

“He's not a baby anymore, Sam.” Liz rolled her eyes at Sam.

 

“Yes, I'm aware that he's considered a toddler, but he's still my baby, Mom. So how has he been doing?”

 

“Very well. He's as happy as can be.”

 

“That's good to hear... It's been another six weeks... I still have my job, I'm still sober...”

 

“But you're still a mess. Look at you, Sam. Upset and crying over a man not wanting to be friends with you. You are acting like a kindergartener. You need to take more control of your own life first before you can have control over River's life again. It's not time to bring him back to you yet. Let's not rush this. For your sake and for his.” Sam's mother was nothing if not brutally honest. “You're not in a good place, yet. Let's wait a little. Maybe Christmas we will come down to visit and see how it goes.”

 

Sam was distracted by River leaning in real close to the camera and giggling while he did it. The little sound made her happier than anything else in this world, and she felt like unicorns were happily sliding down rainbows around her. “You can't see me if you look into the camera, sweetie.” Sam laughed. “You're such a gorgeous little guy. Love you so much, baby.” 

 

“Say bye to mommy, River. We're having lunch soon, and I need to get back into the kitchen.” Liz told her, just before a knock on Sam's front door could be heard. “Well, looks like you have a visitor. We'll let you go. Talk to you soon.”

 

“Okay. Bye Mom. Bye my baby. I love-... you...” Sam trailed off when her mother had ended the chat before she had finished her sentence. Sam sighed and closed her laptop, while the person at the door knocked again. “Coming.” she said, but not loud enough for the other person to hear. She couldn't possibly have been more surprised, when she opened the door and saw Daryl standing in front of it. She looked at him with wide eyes, not quite knowing what to do or to say. 

 

“Hey.” Daryl mumbled before she had the chance to come up with a greeting. He was peeking up at her, and was just about to avert his gaze, when he noticed how red her eyes were. He kept his narrowed eyes on her and wondered if she had cried because of yesterday. Chances were that she had. It confused him a little, because he simply wasn't able to understand why she cared about getting to know him so much. He thought he wasn't worth the trouble. 

 

“Um... hey...” Awkward silence followed after she had reciprocated the greeting. “I... um,... did you leave your tools here, or...?” She thought that it might be the only reason for him showing up at her place again.

 

“Nah...” Daryl shook his head. He chewed on his lip and blushed, quickly ducking his head, before he kept going. “Never got to finish that walk yesterday...”

 

And there it was again... Unicorns and rainbows entering her world, while a huge smile broke out on her face. Not only had he come back to give her another chance, but this also showed, that she wasn't the only one who really wanted to be friends. The crappy weekend finally started looking up.

* * *

** Thank you for reading! **

 

** Bad news. I had to go to the pediatric hospital with my son this morning, because his ear has been bleeding for 6-7 weeks now and the ENT is not able to get it under control. He needs to have another surgery and maybe more after that. I'm devastated and anxious and crying, because my angel has to go through more of that crap, but what can you do? Anyway, he needs a ton of labs and it's all in another town, which means I will be on the road a lot, so updates might only be once a week. I think you'll understand in this case.  **

 

** Oh, and PS. I am no longer a fan of The Walking Dead. I will not be watching Season 6. In my opinion the whole season was utterly predictable, boring and kind of without sense.  **

 

** Thank you to everyone who took the time to leave a comment and kudos. **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

 

They drove over to the parking lot by the spot where the trail up to the waterfalls began, and started making the trek once more. They walked side by side, mostly silent again, because neither of them really knew what to say.

 

“I'm sorry.” Daryl muttered eventually. “Leavin' ya behind to walk back was a dick move.”

 

“It's okay... I get it.”

 

“Wasn't okay.”

 

“It didn't feel like you were did anything wrong. I understood. If the roles were reversed, maybe I would have reacted the same way.”

 

“You get home okay?”

 

“I did. Don't worry about it.” She smiled and cleared her throat. “But, you know... I **have to** ask... What made you come back today?”

 

“You ain't a bad person. Don't think you are...” Daryl tried to come up with the right words. “You ain't like others I know. You're trying... you know?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

This time it was Daryl's turn to clear his throat. He was uncomfortable talking too much about himself, but he wanted to make an effort. “I'm tryin', too. Right now. Not just this thing with you... I figured, that I'm gon' need people to give me a chance or I'm fucked. Guess it's the same for you, so...”

 

“So,... here you are.” Sam finished his sentence with a little smile. His words made her happy. The fact that he was so obviously uncomfortable saying them, made her value them even more. 

 

“Here I am.” he nodded and gave her that little smile of his, which started to cause a little reaction inside of Sam's belly. She was startled by it, but at the same time not really surprised. It made sense, in a way, what with the way she craved having him around. Still, she took a deep breath and tried to ignore it, which worked for the time being, because Daryl suddenly veered off the trail. “And here we are.” he said while he stepped up on some rocks and made his way over to some bigger ones. “Ever been up here before?” Daryl asked while he held his hand out for her, to help her climb up on one of the bigger rocks. He almost dropped it again, as soon as her hand slipped into his. The contact gave him kind of an electric shock, and Daryl startled and froze for a moment. It wasn't the regular thing, like when you rubbed your socks on the carpet to shock someone, because it didn't hurt. It was a fluttery sensation that raced right through his arm and into his belly. He'd never experienced it before and it was a weird sensation. Not weird in a bad way, but “new” weird.

 

He swallowed hard and looked up into Sam's face, but if she was experiencing this shock thing as well, then she didn't let it on.  _ Just me. Hm... but we're wearing shoes. And rocks ain't no carpet...  _ It was puzzling to him, because yes, Daryl Dixon was that clueless about all the things that could happen when people started liking each other. 

 

“No, never been here before.” Sam ignored another little flutter in her stomach when she let herself get pulled up to his level. She would be lying if she would say she hadn't enjoyed feeling his strength in that moment. However, those thoughts were quickly wiped from her mind, when she took in the view. “Holy shit.”

 

“Ain't half bad, I s'ppose.” 

 

“It's amazing, Daryl.”

 

“Can't really come here during summer. Fucking crowded with all them hikers and tourists and stuff. They spread out blankets on these rocks and have a damn picnic and shit.”

 

“You make it sound like it's a bad thing.” Sam laughed. “You don't like picnics? Cause you like food and you seem to be liking nature, so what's not to like about the two things combined?”

 

“Dunno.” Daryl shrugged, feeling a bit of crimson creep back into his cheeks. “Ain't never had one.”

 

Sam almost gaped at him. “You never had a picnic? Never? Not in your childhood with family and friends?”

 

“Nah,... didn't grow up that way.”

 

“You live in a town with beautiful scenery... What about girlfriends? You never had a picnic with a girlfriend out here?” Sam was hardly able to believe that a guy wouldn't make use of all the beautiful spots out here.

 

Daryl blushed even harder and looked away, hoping she wouldn't notice his red face. “No.”

 

“I wish I would have known sooner. We could have taken some lunch up here.”

 

“Too cold to sit on these rocks. Even with a blanket.” Daryl pointed out that the mid-November weather really wasn't suited for any picnics.

 

“Oh, yeah. You're right.” Sam agreed. “But come spring, I'm gonna take you out on a picnic, buddy! You're gonna love it.”

 

Daryl had no idea why, but her statement made a smile tug at his lips. He would even go as far as saying, that he was a little excited.  _ Over eatin' on the ground? I'm losing my damn mind.  _ However, his thoughts didn't stop him from being happy about her plan. 

 

Sam looked over at Daryl and did a double-take. “Oh my God.” she sounded amazed, making Daryl look back at her. “He smiles!” she exclaimed, making Daryl go red in the face once again, but he was laughing a little. 

 

“Stop.”

 

“No.” she grinned happily. “That smile looks beautiful on you, Daryl. Like a ray of pure sunshine.”

 

“Pfffffffff, right!” he scoffed self-deprecatingly and lowered his head.

 

“I'm not kidding.” Sam smiled softly. She reached over and carefully put two fingertips to the side of his chin and exerted gentle pressure, making him lift his head back up. “Don't hide. You look good. Just stating the truth. No need to be embarrassed.”

 

Daryl felt it again when she touched him. That weird feeling of getting shocked. He had no idea why it was happening again, because there was still no carpet and no socks in sight. He didn't spend more than a second thinking about it, though, because there was so much more going on inside of him that had him confused in that moment. He was a mess on the inside. A speechless mess. He didn't dare open his mouth, because it felt like something was racing up his throat. Like, as soon as he would open his mouth to say something, he would throw up a swarm of moths. That's what it felt like. Like a couple of moths had been trapped in his belly and were now racing up his gullet, trying to get back out into the light.

 

He also couldn't believe that she had really said that... about him looking good. Nobody would ever think like that about him, of that he was very, very sure. He knew what he looked like, they had a mirror in their trailer. There was nothing about him that looked good, he was very aware of that and he was okay with it.  _ Damn girl needs to get her eyes checked, or she's fucking lying. Sayin' what I wanna hear so I won't leave her alone again. _

 

“Daryl? Are you okay?” His eyes focused back on Sam, who wore a concerned expression. He hadn't even noticed that he was a little out of breath.

 

“Fine.” he spat as roughly as he was able to muster, and tore his head to the side, so she would stop touching him. Anger felt good. It made him snap out of whatever daze he had been in. It cleared his head a little. 

 

Sam nodded and let her hand drop back by her side. She didn't look away, though. It was obvious that he was sorry for his little outburst just now. He was chewing his lip again, and the expression on his face was a guilty one. “You're like a kaleidoscope.” she said after a while.

 

“Why?” he asked, trying to sound disinterested, but his curious glance gave him away.

 

“You're a mixture of many different things,... every time I look at you, I see something new . There's always something new and interesting there. You seem to have a million different faces. Just by lifting your eyebrows, you suddenly look completely different. It's amazing.”

 

“You gotta be drunk.” he scoffed once more, but there wasn't much force behind it. When she said things like that, it just confused him, because he didn't understand why she would think like that about him. He was nothing special.

 

“Almost 8 months sober, remember?” she laughed and gently nudged him with her elbow, before she grew a bit more serious again. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Has anyone ever paid you a compliment before?”

 

“What kinda question is that?”

 

“I don't know... Your reaction to them has me curious. I mean, I'm not big on receiving compliments either, because I get constantly embarrassed by them, but you... You have such a strong reaction to it. You downright reject them. You constantly reject me telling you that you're nice or that you're interesting and good looking. It gives me the impression that maybe, nobody ever told you these things before. But I guess they probably have, but you rejected them as well, huh?”

 

“Dunno.” Another shrug of his incredibly broad shoulders. “Maybe.”

 

She realized that he seemed more and more uncomfortable by the second with this conversation, so she decided to change the topic. “You said you were trying, too?”

 

“Yeah. Don't know if I'm doing very well, though.”

 

“What's your goal?”

 

“I dunno. Something different than this, I guess. Thinking about finding a job... get a life, you know?”

 

“I do. You think something better is out there, and you're trying to find it for yourself. That's admirable.”

 

“Don't know if that's the right word.”

 

“It is. You're doing something. You're not sitting on your ass and waiting for things to change. You want to actively change them. That's what it looks like to me.” She smiled encouragingly. “What would you like to do? Job-wise?”

 

“Ain't much of a people person... so something where I can just work by myself? I'm good at doing stuff with my hands...” he trailed off and let out a small laugh after a moment of silence. “Back in the day things were different. For our grandparents and parents? They just went over to that place they wanted to work at, asked if they could get a job and were hired the same day. Worked there for 40 or 50 years until retirement. These days? Those interviews seem like some kind of rape. All that shit they wanna know... They want ya to have a damn Master's Degree just to work at a Starbucks, ya know?”

 

“Yeah, I know. And you're right. My grandfather used to be a roofer. He just showed up there one day when he was 14 or 15 years old and started working. He worked there for over 40 years,... until he fell off a roof.” Sam sighed with a sad expression on her face.

 

Daryl nibbled on his bottom lip and watched her carefully. “He die?”

 

“No. But sometimes he said it would have been better for him if he had died.” Sam's eyes filled with tears, but they didn't spill over. “It wasn't even that bad. The fall, I mean. He wasn't seriously injured, but he fucked his shoulder up good. Even after intensive and long physical therapy, he wasn't able to lift his arm up all the way. He didn't lose his job, they kept him on, but they made him sweep the ground, watch out for traffic when they put up the scaffolding... They didn't let him up on a roof ever again. They never said anything to him about it. They were too cowardly to go up to him and tell him that they are not comfortable having him up on the roof anymore... They were worried about him,... they meant well, but they turned him into a lackey. After having been someone at that company for so long, having a say in things, etc, it just slowly killed him. They let him stay on until he completed his 45th year of employment. Then they suggested retirement and he took it. It was hard to watch. He didn't know what to do with himself. He grew quiet. Not that he had ever been very talkative in general, but... I don't know... his whole being just got so subdued. He lost interest in a lot of things, even though he then had the time to get involved more. Just sat in front of the TV all day. Checking the weather report about a hundred times a day. No idea why...”

 

“That's fucking depressing.” Daryl mumbled. In a way, the retirement life of Sam's grandfather reminded Daryl of his own life. That's what he felt like. He didn't know what to do with himself most of the time, and it was slowly driving him nuts. 

 

“It was.” Sam agreed with a little smile.

 

“What about your other grandfather? What did he do?” Daryl asked her. He was genuinely interested, because it felt good to hear her talk about these normal things. It also gave him a bit of Sam's back story... of what kind of family she came from.

 

“My other grandfather was a truck driver. He worked for Ambos Seafoods practically all his life. He was happy driving processed fish from one place to another. He was happy just driving a truck. All the men on my father's side are truck drivers. It's in their blood I guess. My grandfather drove fish around and his three sons all drive truck-mixers.”

 

“Your old man, too?”

 

“Yeah. All his life. Still does it. When I was a little girl, I sometimes would skip kindergarten and go with him for a day. I loved that. Maybe because those were the only times I really got to spend time with him. He left the house before I even woke up in the morning and came back late at night, when it was already bedtime for me. It was some awesome bonding time we had in that truck.”

 

Daryl wore a little smile on his face while listening to her. He definitely liked her stories. “I can drive a truck...” He was thinking out loud.

 

“Maybe you should look into that. Not too many people you have to interact with.”

 

“Yeah. On the road all day... Would be better on a bike, but a truck ain't so bad neither.” Daryl started to like the idea. He would be out of the house, away from Merle, he'd be by himself, but he'd still have something to do that would actually earn him money. It wasn't the worst idea. Maybe Sam was right and he should look into that. 

 

“You have a motorcycle?”

 

“Nah. Merle has one. But I know how to ride. I like it. You ever been on a bike?”

 

“I have, yes.” Sam's smile grew bigger when she remembered. “My dad had one.”

 

“You like it?”

 

“The bike or riding on the back of it?” Sam asked with a grin, and somehow Daryl wasn't able to stop smiling. 

 

“Both.”

 

“I loved it. But boy, he made me work for being allowed to ride with him.” Sam laughed with a shake of her head. 

 

“What?” Daryl was confused about what she meant by that.

 

“My father is a strong believer in having to earn things. So I had to earn the right to get on that bike with him. He's a bit of a cheapskate. Not that that's a bad thing, but back then I sometimes got so frustrated. He said if I wanted to ride with him, I'd have to buy my own helmet and kidney belt and gloves and so on, because he wouldn't spring for another one. My allowance back then was 5 dollars a week. So you can imagine that it took a while to save up for all that stuff. I needed to show him that I really wanted it and that I would be able to sacrifice some things in order to get what I wanted.” This time Daryl wasn't smiling while she told him that particular story. He thought her father sounded like an ass. Making her work for the right to sit behind him on a bike? Sounded more like some kind of dictator than a father. 

 

“He don't sound like the nicest person.” Daryl stated in his honest manner. 

 

“He isn't.” Sam sighed. “He really isn't. He's judgmental, perpetually pessimistic, racist, sexist, self-righteous... He's an asshole really,...” Sam let out a humorless laugh. “... but I was a little girl and I loved him to death. Things are different now. The older I got, the more I learned what kind of person he really is. He helps me out when I need it,... he's there for me, but it always comes at a price, even if that price is having him make fun of me for a couple of weeks... he finds a way to make me pay.”

 

Daryl's blank expression didn't give away his surprise at discovering that they had more in common than he'd initially thought. They both had dickheads for fathers. “What about your mom?”

 

“They're a match made in heaven... or hell... That should tell you enough.” Sam laughed lightly. 

 

Daryl nodded at that. “They ever hit you or something?”

 

“My father never put a hand on me, but my mother slapped me around a couple of times.” She looked over at him and wondered if she should ask, but he had asked her, so she should be okay to ask him as well. “Your folks hit you and Merle?”

 

“Mhm. Other way around, though. My old man did the hitting. Ma stopped caring.” he admitted shyly. It felt weird telling someone else about that, but it also felt a bit freeing at the same time, especially knowing that she understood having that kind of parents. The kind that got off on showing their kids that Ma and Pa held all the power in their hands. 

 

“And I'm sure you never did anything to deserve it. No kid ever does.” Sam said quietly, before she looked at him with a little smile. “Our topics are depressing as fuck.”

 

“Fuck yeah.” Daryl agreed with the tiny smile on his lips. 

 

“But it's nice... talking to you, I mean.”

 

“Ain't bad.” he mumbled while he looked at the ground once more, not wanting her to see his blush.

 

“Good. I'm glad... Sooooo, you thinking about ever getting a bike of your own?” She steered the conversation back to more upbeat things.

 

“One day, yeah... That's where the job thing comes in again, though.”

 

“Right. You'll find something. You know about cars. I'm guessing you know a bit about bikes as well, so mechanic is an option. If you like to do stuff with your hands, maybe building something is your thing. So many options. One of them will pan out, I'm sure. You can do it.” She said encouragingly.

 

Daryl thought about it for a moment. For whatever reason she seemed to believe in him. It felt good. It gave him a little bit of confidence, making him think that he actually would be able to do it... to go and get a job. She believed that he had what it takes. Nobody had ever told him those things. It was so new, and he was a little bit embarrassed by the fact that her words made him feel so good, that he was actually excited about things for the first time in a long time, maybe the first time ever. “Thanks.” he smiled at her. 

 

“No thanks necessary.” she smiled and gave him a little wink. Sam had to stifle a giggle when it made him blush and quickly hang his head again. _He's so darn cute. How can a grown man be so cute? It's so unique... and fucking adorable._ And it also gave her another flutter in her belly. _Shit. Becky's right. I might just be attracted to Daryl. Of course, it always happens when you don't want it to._

 

“You wanna get back?” Daryl asked when he noticed her rubbing her arms.

 

“I don't want to, but it's getting a bit chilly. Coffee and sandwiches at my place?”

 

“Sounds good.” Daryl agreed. They both walked to the edge of the rock and Daryl jumped down first. He turned back around to face her and gingerly put his hands on her sides in order to lift her down from the rock. Within just two seconds he had a whole debate inside his head about how he should have asked her first before he'd touched her, and how he should remove his hands immediately. He was about to withdraw them from her body, but then he felt Sam's hands land on his shoulders, steadying herself and trusting him to lift her down safely. He found himself having trouble drawing oxygen into his lungs once more. He started to get the impression that he might be coming down with something. Knowing his luck he'd get pneumonia and would have to lay around in bed for a couple of weeks, putting all his plans of changing his life on hold.

 

Sam wasn't doing so well in the oxygen department either. She was wearing a coat, so she didn't really feel his hands on her like skin-to-skin contact, but having him touch her and help her like that felt nice nonetheless. The real reason why her breath got caught in her chest, however, was how small her hands looked resting on his wide shoulders. It actually made her shiver and it made some naughty images flash up in front of her inner eye. Those things were unholy, and he was so damn strong... she knew in that moment that his shoulders and arms would be a new fetish for her from now on.

 

Daryl set her on her feet and bestowed that wonderful, but rare, eye contact on her for a short moment, while they were still close. “There you go.” he said under his breath.

 

“Thank you... that was very **nice** of you.” she smirked.

 

This time, Daryl didn't argue with her. Instead he just shook his head with a smile. “Let's go, before ya turn into an ice cube.”

* * *

It was dark in their trailer, except for the TV. Daryl was sprawled out on the couch with his eyes closed. It was quiet except for the murmur of voices on the TV and Merle's snoring coming from the other end of the trailer. Daryl wasn't sleeping. He was tired, but his mind was wide awake and wouldn't let him fall asleep just yet. He was happy that he had given Sam another chance, and that he'd gone back there earlier today, in order to take her up to the waterfalls. They'd had a great afternoon. Or, at least he'd had a great afternoon. But Sam had seemed happy as well, so he assumed that today had been a success.

 

Coffee and sandwiches at her place had turned out great as well. While she had made the sandwiches, she had told him about how her grandmother had been an amazing cook, until she had started working with people a lot younger than her, who'd given her all kind of funky, modern recipes, and Grandma Bridget had started torturing her family with horrible Chinese vermicelli salads and things like that. Daryl hadn't shared much of himself yet, but he was getting there. It felt good to him to listen to her first and gain some more trust, before he would open up more. Thankfully she let him get away with it for now.

 

Daryl shifted into a more comfortable position and thought back to their time up at the waterfalls. Had she really meant what she had said? Did she really believe in him? Did she actually think that he was worth something? She had said that she thought he looked good, but he seriously couldn't believe that. He wouldn't let himself believe it, because he simply couldn't imagine that someone would look at him and perceive what they were seeing as good or something like that. Even though Sam's words and behavior proved that she was sincere, he still had a hard time letting himself believe her words. Too many people had written him off as Merle's asshole of a younger brother over the years. It took some time to adjust to someone actually giving a shit about him. He still had no idea what to make of it all, but as it had turned out, he liked spending time with Sam, so he would keep giving this thing a shot. She was sweet and funny and caring,...  _ and she makes one hell of a sandwich,...  _ Daryl thought with a smile, and before he knew what hit him, something happened... 

 

It was quick, like a flash, but in those couple of seconds, he saw himself and Sam back up at the waterfall, after he had lifted her off the rock. They were so close and his hands were still on her waist, but instead of breaking contact, they both leaned in simultaneously and their lips met in a little kiss. 

 

Suddenly he couldn't breathe and that feeling of having moths in his belly, that traveled up his esophagus, was back again, but about a hundred times stronger than at the waterfalls. Daryl's eyes snapped open and he shot up into a sitting position. Confused, he stared at the TV unseeingly, trying to process what just happened. He was shell-shocked. He hadn't thought about kissing someone since high school, but back then, he hadn't had all this other crap going along with it. He had no idea where it had come from all of a sudden. That part of him was dead,... or so he'd thought. Somehow the lack of oxygen and the moths seemed to be tied to Sam. It only happened when he was with her or thought about her... Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe that part of him wasn't dead, maybe it had just slept a very deep sleep and now Sam was waking it back up.

 

He was utterly confused and wasn't able to make sense of it all. He wasn't sure that he knew what it meant, or if maybe, it was just a random occurrence when you spent time with a woman. But fact was, this never happened to him and it was freaking him out big time. 

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

**Thank you for the lovely comments and kudos!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 

The next day around noon, when Merle and Daryl made their way to the diner, Daryl was torn between desperately wanting to get there, up to the point that he was tempted to break speed limits, and between skipping town and never wanting to see Sam, the voodoo woman, again.

He didn't know how, but she had managed to get inside his head, and now these images kept popping up inside his head without him wanting them to. He had heard her talk to Becky that one night at the diner. He had heard what Sam had said about wanting a guy who's into kissing. About wanting to spend a whole Sunday afternoon entangled on the couch and making out... he'd seen himself do that with her, which had caused a little tingle ,not only in his belly, but also a bit lower. He'd quickly given himself a verbal cold shower, though. Sam wanted a guy who was a good kisser, and he, Daryl, didn't know the first thing about kissing. He knew how it worked, but he also assumed that there was more to it than just pressing their lips together and sticking their tongues into each others mouths. Not like she would kiss him anyway. _Who cares? I don't wanna kiss her neither._ That's what he tried telling himself all throughout a sleepless night, but a moment later, the image of kissing her or just being in her personal space, popped up again, and he found himself liking it, just to be freaked out by liking it another moment later. It had turned into a vicious cycle of terror and excitement, which had kept him up well into the early morning hours. He was slowly and incredulously coming to a realization, which only added to his terror. He might not have known what these weird electric shocks and the amok-running moths in his belly and throat meant, but he wasn't clueless enough not to know, what constantly thinking about kissing a girl meant. If it would have happened that one time only, when he'd thought about kissing her at the waterfalls, he would have been able to write it off as a random, freak thing, but it kept happening. Like flood gates had been opened and now he was drowning in thoughts of Sam.

 

_Damn voodoo witch woman._ Daryl cursed her in his mind when he felt his stomach clench at the sight of the diner.

 

He was nervous and anxious. He didn't quite feel like himself, which was unnerving to him, and he blamed Sam. He didn't like it at all and his first instinct was to react with gruffness and anger in order to show her he had no interest whatsoever in her. However, as soon as they set foot in the diner and Daryl spied Sam walking around the tables and refilling coffees with a smile on her face, his belly betrayed him again. The moths were fluttering up a storm in there and replaced his anger with that strong tingling feeling, which he was slowly getting more familiar with. 

 

Daryl tried (without success) not to let his gaze flick over to Sam too often, while he followed Merle to one of the booths. Their usual table was occupied, which put them into Sam's section today. Now, the Dixons had been eating at that diner almost every day for years, so they both knew the menu by heart and hadn't picked one up in forever. Today though, Daryl didn't know what to do with his hands. He was fidgeting way more than usual, and before he knew what he was doing, he was picking up the menu and studying it with great interest. Anything to keep his eyes off of Sam.

 

Merle frowned and was about to ask Daryl what in the hell he was doing, but then he noticed Daryl peeking over the top of the menu, trying to look at Sam as inconspicuously as possible. A grin formed on his lips, and he leaned back in the booth, watching the show with great amusement. He saw Daryl blushing furiously when his little brother seemed to finally have caught Sam's gaze, not knowing that it was because Daryl felt like Sam was able to read his mind and that she would know that he had repeatedly thought about kissing her. At the same time the corners of Daryl's mouth tried to curl up into a smile, like they suddenly had a mind of their own (and those suckers were damn strong). Daryl fought his hardest not to let them win, and to press his mouth back into a firm, straight line. Nobody won this battle, because Merle laughed out loud, tearing Daryl out of the awkward fight he'd had with his mouth. 

 

“You look ridiculous, baby brother. Sittin' there with a red face, with your mouth doin' weird things, tryin' not to smile at the pretty lady. Like some damn 1st grader who's havin' a crush on their teacher. Get a grip, boy. You're 40 and not 4.”

 

“Ain't 40.” Daryl's expression settled back into a deep scowl.

 

“Closer to 40 than to 30. Wouldn't know it, though, with the way yer acting.”

 

“Just shut the hell up, Merle.”

 

“What's the big deal? You want her? Go get her. Told ya she keeps lookin' at ya, too.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Sweet Jesus...” Merle shook his head with an incredulous laugh. “Were ya even born with a pair of balls, baby brother? Anythin' attached down there?”

 

“Shut the fuck up, man!” Daryl started shouting, attracting the attention of some other patrons. 

 

Sam had just come up to the table to take their order, but she stopped short at Daryl's outburst. “Ummm, I'll give you guys another minute.”

 

Merle grinned broadly at her, while Daryl ducked his head and didn't look at her. “Ooooh no, Sugar! You stay right where ya are. He knows what he wants... just too shy to speak up, ain't that right little brother?”

 

Daryl didn't react except for clenching his fists. Sam frowned at Merle and gently addressed Daryl. “Are you ready to order, Daryl? Or do you need another minute?”

 

“Steak and eggs... some fries.” he mumbled, still not looking at her. 

 

“Same for me, Hot Buns.” Merle was still grinning and Sam shot him an evil glare before she went back to the counter to pass on their order to the kitchen.

 

“Are you ready to order, Daryl?” Merle imitated Sam in a high voice, chuckling his ass off when Daryl stared at him like he wanted to kill him with just one look. “Relax, just jerkin' your chain.”

 

“You're a fucking asshole, Merle.”

 

“And you're a pussy. Whatchu waitin' for? Women don't ever take the first step. That's up to you.” Merle told him on a more serious note. 

 

Daryl nibbled on his lip for a moment, pondering if it would be a good idea to talk to Merle about this. “Ain't like that 'tween us. Just friends.”

 

“Psshhh,...” Merle shook his head and leaned forward, with his forearms resting on the table. “Tell me, Daryl... You think I'm stupid? You think I'm blind? You think I don't know ya? Ain't never seen ya look at a woman like ya look at her. For fuck's sake, I thought ya were battin' for the other team until a couple of weeks ago. Just admit that ya like her. Come on. Say it. It's all over your face anyway.”

 

“If it's all over my face, then why do ya need me to say it?” Daryl grumbled.

 

“Just wanna hear you say it. Humor me.” Merle's grin was back.

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“Awwww, you hurt my feelings.” Merle let out a laugh. “What's the plan?”

 

“There ain't no plan.”

 

“So ya just wanna sit here and pine for her like some angsty teenager straight out of one of 'em stupid movies? Man up, man. Chicks like when we're cocky and know what we want.”

 

“You ain't datin', so what the hell you know about it?”

 

“More than you, that's for damn sure. Or ya wanna argue with that?” Merle sent his younger brother a challenging look.

 

Daryl looked at him silently and shook his head lightly. It was useless to go up against Merle. He never let up. Better to keep quiet and not antagonize him.

 

“That's a good boy.” Merle nodded with satisfaction. “Datin', huh? Didn't I teach you better than that? Wanna spend money you don't have on movie dates and expensive meals at fancy restaurants. That ain't us, Daryl. Ain't never gonna be us. You'd be better off just getting' some sugar from her and be on your way after... But ya can't do that, can ya? Don't have it in you.”

 

“That so bad?” Daryl mumbled quietly while he looked at his brother with a mix of wariness and curiosity. “Doin' it the normal way? Like everybody else?”

 

“Ain't bad...” Merle shrugged casually. “Just ain't us... like I said.” Merle might come across as the biggest jerk on the planet, and yeah, he loved teasing his brother, but deep down he didn't want Daryl to get disappointed and hurt. He might not show it, but he loved his brother. Daryl was different...”The Sweet One”, as some people called him... Merle knew Daryl wasn't really a pussy... just like himself, Daryl could be tough as nails, but on the inside he was a bit of a softie. He wasn't as hardened as Merle was. They never talked about that stuff, and Daryl tried to never let his soft side show in front of Merle, but his older brother still knew. He knew that Daryl wouldn't be able to just fuck Sam once, or maybe a couple of times, and just leave and go his merry way. Daryl cared too much. Daryl would most definitely get himself into a relationship with that woman and Merle didn't know how he would feel about that. One the one hand he was happy that Daryl finally showed interest in the female form, but on the other hand, it was destined to crash and burn.

 

“Here you go, gentlemen. Steaks and eggs with a side of fries. Enjoy.” Sam put the plates in front of Merle and Daryl, and without even realizing she was doing it, she put her hand on Daryl's shoulder and squeezed gently. “Holler if you need anything else.”

 

“Uuuuhhh, would ya look at that...” Merle grinned around a mouthful of steak once Sam was out of ear shot. “Casual touchin'... Mhm,... oh yeah... she's creamin' her panties for you, baby brother.”

 

“Good Lord, Merle...” Daryl tried to give him a hard glare, but it wasn't very effective what with him blushing and all. 

 

“You better believe it, Daryl... she's rubbin' her nubbin' to a Dixon at night, and as much as it pains me to say it: it ain't me.”

 

“Whatever.” Where Daryl was concerned, there was no truth to Merle's words. _Ain't gonna believe that unless I see it with my own eyes._ And just like that, the image of a naked Sam, moving her fingers in and out of her pussy while she moaned his name, flashed up inside his head. He inhaled sharply and rubbed his tired eyes. “Fuck.”

 

“What?” Merle questioned.

 

“Nothing.” Daryl replied quickly. “Just fucking tired. Your damn snoring kept me up all night.”

 

“Right!” Merle scoffed. “My snoring did...”

 

Daryl sighed deeply and went back to eating. Merle always had to have the last word.

* * *

Later that day, Daryl returned to the diner alone to grab himself and Merle a burger for dinner. He was more than a little surprised to see Sam still working. Without thinking twice about it, he sat at the end of the counter, right where she was standing with her back to him. “Hey.” he called out a little more gruffly than intended. He still got the feeling she was able to read his mind, and it had him even more awkward than usual. 

 

“Hey Daryl.” she smiled brightly at him over her shoulder. This time Daryl was no longer surprised by the flutter in his stomach which her smile evoked. 

 

“Whatchu still doin' here?”

 

“Becky had a thing, so I'm working a double to cover for her. What can I get you?”

 

“Umm...”

 

“The usual dinner? Bacon cheeseburger with onion rings?” he didn't see her smile this time, but he heard it in her voice.

 

“Yeah.” he laughed lightly. His meal choices were pretty predictable. “And some coffee. Fucking freezing out there today.”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“Drove around... filled out some applications...” he trailed off and peeked up at Sam when she suddenly whirled around with a big smile on her face.

 

“Really? Oh that's awesome, Daryl.”

 

“Pfff, yeah, well... don't go breakin' out the champagne just yet. Ain't got a job yet.”

 

“But you're doing something. You have a goal and you're taking necessary steps to achieve it. That's wonderful. It's like you told me last night, Daryl, you're taking charge of your life instead of letting Merle be in charge of it any longer. It's a good thing.”

 

“Nothin' might come of it...”

 

“It doesn't matter. You're trying. That's what it's all about, right?”

 

“Right.” Daryl agreed with a little smile.

 

“Miss, can I get some ketchup?” A male voice to Daryl's right addressed Sam, and she had the decency to blush at having gotten distracted from doing her job.

 

“Of course, Sir.” Sam nodded a little flustered and quickly grabbed a ketchup bottle. When she turned back towards Daryl and the other man, she somehow made a wrong move and instead of putting the bottle on the surface of the counter, the bottle hit the edge with enough force to have it shatter in her hand. Sam reflexively grasped the bottle tighter, wanting to keep it from crashing to the floor, but she only succeeded in cutting herself. She yelped when she felt sharp pricks in her palm, only to roll her eyes a moment later, when a couple of guys cheered and mock-applauded her for her clumsiness. “Yeah... thanks.” she muttered. 

 

Suddenly, she felt yet another sensation, and before she was able to look down to her hand, her head snapped up in surprise when she heard Daryl's voice right next to her. “Let go.” he said, telling her to let go of the remains of the ketchup bottle. He had jumped off of his stool and had dashed around the counter the second he had registered what had happened. Sam finally looked down and saw that the warm and tingly sensation that was mixing with the throbbing in her palm, was Daryl, who had grasped her wrist in his warm, strong hand. 

 

Sam's boss Patty came bursting out of the door after having heard the commotion. “What's going on?”

 

“Bottle shattered. She cut herself. Where's your first aid kit?” Daryl was still holding Sam's wrist and started pulling her away from behind the counter. 

 

“In here. Come on.” Patty led the twosome into the locker room and got out the first aid kit. “That's it for you today, Sam. Go home. It's just another hour, I'll cover for you.”

 

“I can't. I'm covering for Becky, I can't go home now.”

 

“Yes, you can. You might have to go to the ER anyway. What's it look like, Daryl?”

 

“Just a couple of shards in there, nothin' big. No major cut.” he told her while he inspected Sam's palm.

 

“See? I can keep going.”

 

“Go home, Sam.” Patty winked. “I'll call Amy and ask her to come in half an hour earlier. I can manage half an hour on my own. Make sure she goes home, Daryl.” Patty fought a smirk when she said it. She had heard through the grapevine that something seemed to be happening between her newest waitress and the youngest Dixon, and tonight she was most certainly able to confirm that those rumors she'd heard were actually true. Something was most definitely going on, judging by the way they were acting around each other, and by the way Daryl still looked at Sam with concern in his eyes, even though he knew that it wasn't a serious injury. The man obviously cared. Patty felt the urge to squeal. Daryl was simply adorable. Always had been. 

 

Daryl gave Patty a nod, only briefly looking up from the first aid kit. Satisfied that Sam was taken care of, Patty left, while Daryl found the pair of tweezers. 

 

“Ooww...” Sam hissed and tried to pull her hand out of his grasp after he had removed the first shard of glass that was embedded in her left palm. 

 

“Hold still.” he murmured softly while he grasped the next shard with the tweezers and pulled.

 

“Ow, fuck!” Sam cursed and jumped, making Daryl smile slightly.

 

“Don't be a baby. Almost done.”

 

“Easy for you to say. You're not the one with half a ketchup bottle stuck in your hand.”

 

“Had worse.” he murmured, the smile vanishing from his lips.

 

“Me,too.” Sam sighed quietly. 

 

“Right.” Daryl remembered that Sam had used to get beaten by her ex, just like he'd get beaten by his old man. “Hm... match made in hell, huh? Didn't ya say that 'bout your folks?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Guess that kinda goes for us,too.” Daryl mused quietly while he removed the last pieces of glass from Sam's palm. “Not that we're... married or somethin'... just... 'cause of what happened with your ex and my old man, you know?”

 

“I do.” Sam nodded with understanding in her eyes. Daryl looked up into her eyes for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip when his gaze dropped lower to her mouth. His gaze lingered there for a second, before he quickly turned his attention back to her hand. 

 

Sam had butterflies in her stomach when she had noticed him staring at her lips. Someone had told her ages ago that it was the international sign for wanting to kiss someone, when you looked at their lips like Daryl had looked at hers just now. She wondered if maybe it had just been her imagination or wishful thinking or something, or if it had really happened. She studied his face while he carefully wrapped up her hand and closed the first aid kit. “I'm takin' ya home.”

 

“But you haven't eaten yet.”

 

“I'll tell Patty to pack it up to go while you change.” Daryl said and went back out to the dining area without another word. 

* * *

“Wanna come inside?” Sam asked as Daryl pulled up at her house.

 

“Nah.” he declined. “You should rest. Had a long day.”

 

“Are you sure? I'm not tired. I have the late shift tomorrow so I can sleep in...”

 

“I'm sure.” Daryl nodded, not even knowing why he was declining. He wanted to spend more time with her, but he felt a bit nervous around her, now that he kept thinking about getting closer to her. 

 

“Oh... okay.” She sounded genuinely disappointed, but she still managed a smile. “Thank you for taking care of me and taking me home, Daryl.”

 

He nodded in acknowledgment. He was too busy chewing his lip to answer. 

 

“I'll see you around.” Sam smiled and got out of the truck. “Drive safe.”

 

“See ya.” Daryl mumbled before she closed the door. He watched her go inside and only drove off once the door was safely closed behind her. 

 

He went home to the trailer park, but when he got there, he noticed that the door to their trailer was wide open, music was blasting and a couple of bikes were parked out front. Merle was entertaining some company. Daryl sat in his truck, pondering his options for a moment. It didn't take long for him to put his truck in reverse and back it back up to the street. Within minutes he pulled into Sam's small driveway and parked right behind her Jetta. He was still nervous, but he thought spending a couple of awkward hours with Sam was way better than being surrounded by Merle's drunk and high buddies. 

 

“Merle's got company.” Daryl said in lieu of hello when Sam opened the door.

 

“Come in.” She smiled and grabbed the bag with his food out of his hand. “I'll warm that up for you and we can eat together. Get comfy on the couch. I don't feel like sitting at the table for dinner tonight.”

 

Daryl plopped down on her couch with a sigh. Five minutes later she returned with their food and they sat side by side on the couch, enjoying their dinner while some sitcoms were on TV in the background.

* * *

 

This would quickly become a new routine for them. Most days Daryl would show up in the afternoon or at night after her shifts, and they would spend time together. They didn't do a whole lot of talking, but the companionable silence worked for both of them. Daryl just didn't have much to tell except for depressing tales about home and his time with Merle. He rather listened to Sam telling her stories from her time growing up in Charleston. But whenever she asked him something about himself, he tried his best to give her a good answer, just like she openly answered the questions he had. Most nights they curled up on her couch, each in their own corner, having some dinner and then Daryl would watch TV, while Sam seemed to always be busy “doodling” around in her note book, claiming it relaxed her. 

 

He might never say much, but she still learned some things about him. He liked watching old school cartoons, not all this new shit the kids grew up on these days. He also liked having cereal out of a “huge ass” bowl, as he'd told her, and slurping the milk right out of it until it was all gone. His favorite meal was maccaroni and cheese with pieces of cut up hot dog in it, but he never made it for himself. He was aware that those were things kids did and liked, but he'd told her, he figured that he was catching up on things he didn't get to do when he was a kid. Sam didn't judge him for it. He had been surprised when she had told him that it made sense to her. It earned her even more brownie points in his book and he started trusting her more and more, which made them grow closer.

 

November turned into December and within the blink of an eye, it seemed, they had been spending time together pretty much every day for a good month. By now, Sam knew with absolute certainty, that she was in love with Daryl. It was not just a crush. She was full blown in love with him, and she had absolutely no idea how it had happened or how the feelings had gotten so strong so quickly. Now, she constantly worried that she maybe touched him way too often or looked at him for too long. She tried reading Daryl again and again, trying to see where he stood where she was concerned, but he didn't let his guard down too often. She had caught him staring at her and at her lips a couple of times more, but other than that, he just never let anything slip about what he thought of her. It was driving her insane, because she was starting to long for him. She wanted to hug him and kiss him, cuddle him, make love to him, have wild monkey sex with him... the whole deal. Even just holding his hand would be a great start, but so far, there was nothing except for some casual touches. A pat on the shoulder or on the back, sometimes a hand on her arm guiding her out of the house, things like those was all she was getting for now. Better than nothing, sure, but she would love to have more. At least she wanted to know if there was any interest at all on his side or if they would simply remain friends for the rest of their lives. She would be able to deal with that, but she needed to know, so she wouldn't spend more weeks or maybe months getting her hopes up. She would just need to come up with a plan and/or the courage to ask him, which was easier said than done. 

* * *

** Thank you for reading! **

 

** It might start getting interesting next chapter;-) **

 

** Happy Easter everybody and thank you so so much for all the follows and the reviews and the support. You all rock! Thank you so much. **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

A little burst of happiness exploded inside of Sam when she heard the front door open and close, one Friday night in December. Daryl had stopped knocking about two weeks ago, after she had repeatedly reassured him that it was okay for him to just come in when she was expecting him. “Right on time, as usual.” she smiled over her shoulder when Daryl entered the kitchen, wearing a little smile on his own. “How was the interview?”

 

“Jus' as rape-y as the other ones.” he replied, and Sam giggled like a little schoolgirl (much to her own embarrassment), when she felt Daryl almost pressed up against her back while he looked over her shoulder.

 

“What's for dinner?”

 

“Mac and cheese with little pieces of hot dog in it.”

 

“No way!” His eyebrows rose in surprise. He hadn't thought she would remember what he told her.

 

“Way. I hope I made it right.”

 

“Smells fucking good.” Daryl's mouth was watering already. “That garlic bread?”

 

“Yep, tried that for the first time, too, so I'm not sure how it's all gonna taste, but if push comes to shove we'll just have to order in.”

 

“If it tastes only half as good as it smells, then we're golden.” Daryl said with a cute little grin.

 

“You're sweet.” she wanted to sigh happily, but she refrained, afraid that another giggle would find its way out of her. “And because you're so sweet, you'll get served a glass of wine in my house tonight.”

 

Instead of appreciating it, Daryl narrowed his eyes at her. “Why you got wine in the house?”

 

“It's that tiny bottle we got for free when we ordered that shitload of Italian the other night, remember? You wanted to take it home with you, but forgot, so you're drinking it tonight. It's still corked up, you can check.” Sam explained and pointed over to one of the cupboards, where she had put the wine.

 

Daryl remembered and his suspicious scowl vanished from his face. “Nah... I trust ya.”

 

“You do?” Sam was pleasantly surprised by that.

 

“Mhm.”

 

“That's great... Thanks.” This time Sam did sigh happily. Having Daryl say that, felt amazing. When not even your own parents trust you anymore, having the man you have a serious thing for saying he trusts you, was kind of a blissful thing. Also, it would help with her little plan she had come up with. She wanted to try increase their casual touches a little, just to see how receptive he would be to that. It sounded a bit sleazy inside her own head, but it was the only plan she had come up with for now. She needed some more signals from him before she would spill the beans about her feelings. “Umm, why don't you have a seat? Table is set, I'll bring the food over in a minute. Take the wine with you.” She stepped over to the cupboard and handed him the small bottle and a corkscrew, she had pulled out of a drawer.

 

Daryl took the items and went back to the living room. He smiled when he noticed a can of grape soda sitting next to her wine glass. _Cute._ He didn't know why it was so cute, but it was. Lately the word “cute” had kept popping up a lot inside his head, and it always related to Sam or something she had done or something she had said. He was still confused by it all, but by now it was undeniable to himself, that he had some sort of feelings for her. Since he felt the urge to touch her and kiss her all the time, he was pretty sure that they were romantic feelings, but he still didn't know what it meant. Whether it was just a crush or infatuation or even love... he didn't know, but it was definitely something.

* * *

Sam didn't have to ask Daryl if he liked the mac and cheese with the cut up hot dogs in it. She was able to tell by the fact that he emptied almost the whole casserole dish by himself. She wasn't a big fan of mac and cheese, so she just had about a spoonful and stuck to the garlic bread instead. When he was finished, he slumped in his chair and leaned heavily against the back of it while he had his wine.

 

“Fucking good.” he complimented her.

 

“I'm glad. Thanks.” Sam smiled and started to clear the table. They went outside to the small porch to have a smoke and get some fresh air, before they went back inside, where Daryl finally toed off his boots, so he could put his feet up on the small coffee table while he watched TV. Instead of curling up in her corner of the couch, Sam sat right next to him. If he was surprised about it, he didn't show it, which calmed her slightly frazzled nerves. “Do you mind if I watch some TV with you today?”

 

“Not feeling your notebook tonight?”

 

“Not really. I'm feeling Scooby Doo tonight.” she smiled and grabbed the crocheted blanket from the back of the couch. Unfolding and draping the blanket over her lap gave her some time to decide what to do about that plan of hers. It had been a nice and relaxed evening and Daryl had had some wine, so in a burst of courage, Sam decided to throw caution to the wind and to go all in. One deep breath, then she grasped his right wrist in her hands and quickly lifted his arm. Daryl shot her a puzzled look, but Sam pretended not to notice. Before her new found courage would leave her, she slipped underneath his raised arm, making it rest around her shoulders, before she let go and wrapped her arms around his midriff, resting her head against his upper chest. She felt him tense, and she practically felt his gaze burning holes into the top of her skull, while she waited with baited breath for him to push her away, but she still pretended not to notice his confusion as she kept her eyes trained on the TV.

 

_Good God, he feels good,_ Sam thought when she settled her weight against his strong and solid form. Those were the kind of arms that made a girl feel all warm and safe and sheltered. It was perfect. She was praying to all the Gods out there, that he would be okay with this. 

 

Daryl remained tense while he looked down at her, not knowing how to react. He was pleasantly surprised by this turn of events, but it was so unfamiliar that he felt slightly awkward. His hand was stiffly resting on her upper arm, because he had no idea what to do with it. Was he even supposed to do anything? He wasn't sure. Sam shifted a little, and for a second he was disappointed that she would pull away, probably because he was being all weird, but when she only rested herself even more against him, he finally started to calm down and relax a little. He'd never held a woman in his arms, but now he got what the fuss was about. It was real nice. With the way she was curled up and tucked against his side with his arm around her small shoulders, he felt like a good protector. Feeling her warmth against him and feeling her shoulders lift and sink slightly with every breath was comforting and it slowly eased the rest of the tension out of his body. He relaxed and fought a little smile when he started to fully enjoy holding Sam in his arms while they watched TV.

 

Sam was biting her lip, hoping Daryl wouldn't notice the huge smile that had spread on her lips, once she had felt him loosening up and relaxing into the embrace.  _He doesn't mind. Thank God. That's good to know. We're definitely going to do this a lot more from now on._ She had to stifle a happy giggle, when she also felt the hand on her arm slide down to her elbow, before it left her arm altogether and settled on her side, making himself more comfortable as well. They stayed like that until the commercials break came on. Then, Sam tilted her head up, without removing it from his chest, to look up at him. “Hey, you know what?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“It's been a couple of weeks.” she said with a smile.

 

He looked down at her with a puzzled expression. “What?”

 

“I asked you to give me a couple of weeks to get to know you, remember? So that I would be able to decide for sure if you're a good person or not.”

 

“Right.” he nodded. She hadn't kicked him out of her house or her life yet, and now she was watching TV and cuddling with him, which caused him to assume she still thought of him as nice, but he still asked. “What's the verdict then?”

 

“I was right.”

 

He nodded while he looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. “I still don't get it.”

 

“You're a great man, Daryl. What about that don't you get?”

 

“I don't get why ya think that. Ain't done nothin' special the whole time.”

 

“Eeerrm, yes you have. You repaired my car and turned down any payment for the time you spent on it. After I told you about being an alcoholic, you came back and gave me another chance. You're going on walks with me, you listen to me, you're actually starting to tell me more about yourself, you're helpful, you're generous, you're honest... You're amazing, really.” she told him and reached up to gently brush a couple of fingers over his cheek when he blushed. “You're really cute. I'm so happy to have you around, Daryl. I really am. I would miss you like crazy if you'd stop coming over almost every day. In fact, on the days you don't show up, it already feels like something is missing, and that something, or better, that someone, is you, Daryl.”

 

He blushed even more and scoffed with a mix of embarrassment, disbelief and hope.

 

“You still don't believe me, do you?”

 

Daryl shrugged. “I wanna believe you...”

 

“Don't think so poorly of yourself. The person who you think you are, is actually not who you are at all. It's the complete opposite.” she tried to convince him, but he just shrugged again and kept chewing his lip. Sam suddenly had an idea. She removed her hands from around him and got up. “I'll be right back.” She left the room and returned a minute later, holding something hidden behind her back. “So, I know how you see yourself and I know what you think about how other people see you,...” she sat down next to him and revealed the object she had been holding behind her back. “I think that maybe it's time for you to see yourself through **my** eyes. Maybe it will help you see that there is a lot to love about you.” With those words, she handed him the notebook she had been “doodling” in, almost every night in the past month.

 

Daryl frowned, not getting how her random scribbles would help him, but he took the book. He was in for a big surprise that night, when he flipped it open and his own face stared right back at him. “Holy shit.” he muttered, when he realized that she hadn't doodled at all. She had been drawing portraits of him, and she was damn good at it. There were at least a dozen sketches... him all relaxed on her couch watching TV, him smoking, him snacking on M&M's, him nibbling on his bottom lip, him chewing on his thumbnail, and several sketches of him in various stages of smiling, starting with that tiny smile where the corners of his lips curled up, and ending with a picture of him sporting a full-blown, teeth-baring smile.

 

Sam watched him look at the pages with wide eyes. “You don't recognize yourself, do you?” she asked knowingly.

 

“It's me... but then, it kinda ain't...”

 

“But it is, Daryl. It's all you. The way you are, every night we spend here on this couch. I told you that you looked beautiful when you smiled, didn't I? You didn't want to hear it, but there it is.”

 

“Why didn't ya tell me you could do this?” he didn't react to what she had said. His head was so full all of a sudden, he just needed a moment and focus on something else.

 

“I don't know. I haven't drawn or painted anything in a long time. Just started again when we started hanging out. Are you offended I did this without asking first?” she was worried that he might be mad at her. She hadn't even thought of that while she had worked on those sketches.

 

“Nah...” he shook his head and looked down at the page with him smiling again. “I don't know shit about this stuff, but looks like you're good. Why ain't you tryin' to make money with this?”

 

“Because it's just something I do for fun. I like it and it relaxes me. It's a hobby and I don't want to make it a job, because I don't want this to become a drag, you know? I don't want to feel forced to have to paint something, just so I can make rent. I want this to stay fun for me.” Sam explained, to which he nodded.

 

“So ya look at me and ya see this?” he asked quietly, pointing at the book.

 

“Yes. Looks like a totally normal and nice guy doing normal things, right?” Sam scooted closer again and looked at the book with him. She turned the page and pointed to a sketch of him where he peeked out from between the hair that fell into his eyes. “But when we're outside or when you're with Merle in the diner, you look like this. This guy seems a bit sad and insecure... like he has a big chip on his shoulder... That chip doesn't have to be there, Daryl, and I think deep down you know that, because you're trying more and more to become this guy, like, full time, so to speak.” she turned back to the previous page. “That's who you really are. That's who's been hiding inside of you, and now that you are taking charge of your own life, he's coming out of hiding a little more every day... and it's beautiful. This is who I've been seeing all along. This is also who other people see when they look at you, Daryl. Yeah sure, probably not everybody, because a lot of people are assholes, but not you... not this guy with the gorgeous smile. I think we can both agree that this is not a bad guy. You're not a bad guy, Daryl. You're not trash, you're not some thug or some hick, you're not Merle's younger asshole brother... You're this guy.” she tapped her finger on the page. “You're Daryl Dixon, a good man and a great friend. Nothing less. Do you get it now?”

 

He nodded shyly and closed the book. “...think I do...” he mumbled and held the book out for her to take.

 

“No, keep it. It's yours.” she smiled and gently pushed his hand down. “Maybe it will help remind you who you really are, whenever you need help reminding and I'm not around.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You're welcome.” Sam smiled and took a deep breath. “You mean a lot to me, Daryl. And I want you to believe me when I say these things. I **need** you to believe me.”

 

“Why?” he suddenly got a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach when she said that.

 

“It doesn't matter right now. I don't want to completely overwhelm you tonight.”

 

And for that he was glad. He was curious about what she meant, but she was right. His head was spinning more than enough for one night. He gladly let her get away with not giving him a straight answer.

 

“I'm getting the feeling that you might want the rest of that wine now.”

 

“You ain't wrong.” Daryl laughed a little, glad that they were dropping the conversation for now. Sam got him his refilled wine glass from dinner and snuggled right back into his arms after handing it over.

 

“You better stay here tonight. Wouldn't want you to drive with that wine in your system.”

 

“I can walk.”

 

“Or you can stay. We can stay here on the couch and watch TV until we fall asleep.”

 

“Hmm... don't sound too bad.” he admitted with a little smile.

 

“That's the spirit.” she grinned happily before she rested her head against his chest again and they continued to watch TV, cuddling and in silence.

* * *

Exactly two weeks later Sam stood in her kitchen and slowly released the deep breath she had been taking. She was so nervous, it was ridiculous. She felt like she was as nervous, if not even more nervous, than Daryl probably was in this moment. She checked on the food for the hundredth time in five minutes, not knowing what else to do with herself. Twenty more minutes passed until she finally heard a car door slam. Sam skipped over to the front door and impatiently tore it open.

 

“Did you get it????” she was breathless with anticipation. It felt like a small eternity until she finally saw the corners of his mouth curl up and detected a faint nod.

 

“I got it.” Daryl confirmed and unleashed a whirlwind called Sam. Happiness flooded her uncontrollably and she started cheering loudly while she ran towards him and when she reached him, she just jumped into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips. Daryl staggered back a couple of steps until they hit the hood of his truck. He tensed for a moment, as usual, but after gathering his bearings for a couple of seconds, he wrapped his arms around her as well, making sure she won't drop to the ground. They had done a lot of holding each other, sharing little touches and cuddling in the past two weeks, but Daryl still tensed up during the first few moments when their more “affectionate times” started at night. Someone being loving and tender with him was still so unfamiliar, that he needed to get used to it anew every single day, but he still made progress in the sense that it took a little bit less for him every day to get used to the physical contact again and relax. Sam was still a little unsure if he really wanted to be that close, because he never initiated it. It was always her who started it, and Daryl never got too active, which made her worry that she came across as a way too needy mess. She didn't know that she didn't have to worry at all, though. Daryl was loving it, he was just too insecure to reciprocate. It was all so new and he had no idea if it would be okay for him to just go up and grab her, like she did with him. He would probably do it wrong anyway, since he didn't know the first thing about all this stuff. He would act like a clumsy mess and he didn't feel like making a fool of himself.

 

“I knew it. I fucking knew it.” Sam grinned and pressed her lips and nose against his cheek. “I'm so proud of you.” she murmured against his skin, before she kissed his cheek several times, making Daryl's belly fill with moths and his chest fill with warmth. His careful grip on her tightened and his tense posture loosened up a little more. Holding her like this felt so damn good, he wished he'd have the balls to initiate things like this. He would love to surprise her like that, but he wasn't there yet. Some little touches was all he was able to do for now. Sam pulled back a little to look at him, making both their breaths hitch in their throats when they realized how close they were. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, before both their gazes traveled lower, both staring at the other's lips, before looking back up into their eyes. Sam felt her heartbeat in her throat and she swallowed hard. “We should go inside... make sure the food doesn't burn.”

 

Daryl nodded and slowly lowered her back to the ground, where Sam tried to gather her bearings. “Congratulations, Daryl. I'm so happy for you. You did it. You have a job.” She smiled brightly at him, but her cheeks were tinged with red.

 

“Yeah. Can't believe it yet.” he smiled with an equally red face. “Can't believe I'm gonna make 5,000 bucks a month just for drivin' a truck from A to B.”

 

“They are a huge multinational retail corporation and they need people like you to distribute the goods. Only makes sense that they would pay their drivers well. You would never make that amount of money at a small family business. Gosh, I'm so, so, soooo happy for you, Daryl. This is huge. You can get yourself a bike after the first month or two.” Sam was almost singing with happiness while they went inside.

 

Daryl suddenly stopped dead in his tracks after what she had said. _A bike?! She's right. Didn't even think of that. Holy shit._ And suddenly, that rare big smile showed up on his face.

 

Sam giggled happily. “That hasn't even come to mind until now, has it?”

 

“No. But it's definitely in there now.” he grinned.

 

“That's good. You should use your first paycheck to spoil yourself big time. Buy something that's just for you... like a bike. Now come on in, before the food gets ruined.”

* * *

A little over an hour later, they were on the couch again. Daryl was on his back, holding Sam to his side. Her head rested on his chest while she watched TV, her fingers absently tracing patterns on his belly on top of his black t-shirt. Daryl was staring at the ceiling, thinking about all the new possibilities that would arise for him from now on.

 

“When I get my bike, I ain't gonna make ya work for the right to ride with me.” It was the first thing he had said since dinner.

 

Sam lifted her head and looked at him with eyes that started to fill with tears. She was choked up with emotion. He wanted her to ride with him, and he also remembered the story she had told him about how her father had made her earn that right. The fact that he thought it important to tell her that he wouldn't do that to her, touched her deeply. He was giving adult Sam, as well as little girl Sam, a gift, without probably even meaning to.

 

“If ya wanna ride with me...” he suddenly felt stupid for assuming that she would want that.

 

“I do. I'd be honored. I'd love it.” She quickly told him, making him smile at the way the words rushed out of her in excitement.

 

“Alright then.” he fell silent again for a moment, until he remembered something. “Maybe I'll wait 'til spring.”

 

“Spring? Why?”

 

“As soon as the weather looks up, Imma get a bike and for our first drive, we go somewhere nice... take some food and do that picnic ya wanted me to do with ya. We can make it a good day... Combine two firsts. Me havin' my own bike and havin' my first picnic... It's prolly stupid-”

 

“It isn't.” Sam quickly interrupted him before he started doubting his plan. “It really isn't. It's great.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Sam nodded. She scooted up a little until her face was level with his, and propped up on her elbow. Her free hand, which had been busy stroking his belly, came up to his face. Slowly and gently she pushed at the dark strands of hair, freeing his face from the long bangs. “I love that idea.” Once the hair was out of his face, Sam softly stroked her fingertips over his forehead, tracing the scars, before they glided down his temple and over his cheek until she was able to rub her thumb through the scruff on his chin and jaw. “You're so cute... and sweet.” she murmured quietly.

 

“Nah...” Daryl's cheeks heated up and he nervously started chewing on his lip. Sam sometimes wondered how his lips looked so soft when he was perpetually chewing on them.

 

“Yes.” Sam argued with a little smile and let her thumb travel higher. When the pad of her thumb traced along his bottom lip, gently tugging it free from the grip of his teeth, Daryl felt a whole horde of moths race up his throat and steal his breath. Something in the air had changed, he felt it now, and it made him tense up again, but more out of anticipation of what she would do next, instead out of dread or anxiety. “I'm crazy about you, Daryl... in case you haven't noticed...” her voice was a whisper, but Daryl still heard her very clearly, and it made his world spin. “That's why I need you to believe me so badly... when I say things like just now.”

 

Daryl barely registered the last bit of what she had said. His mind was racing.  _She's... what? Does that mean....? It does... right?! She's touchin' up on me and stuff. What am I s'pposed to do now? Am I s'pposed to do somethin'? Say somethin'? I should say somethin'... but what? Fuck, I can't do th- OH FUCK!_

 

Sam was suddenly a lot closer and he felt her soft, full lips press against his own in a tentative caress. His eyes widened in shock and his body was suddenly stiff as a board, even his lips. Sam felt it and tried to soothe the tension by slowly stroking her hand over his neck and shoulder and down to his chest, but to no avail. She kissed him again, parting her lips just a little bit, trying to coax him into responding, but Daryl didn't reciprocate at all.

 

Sam got a figurative cold shower, when he showed no interest in kissing her, and she pulled away.  _He's not into me. No wonder he never initiated anything. I've been reading him wrong all those times I thought he looked at my lips. Fuck and I'm making a fool of myself by throwing myself at him. God bless him for not bolting all those times._ She sat up and tried to stay composed. If she would start crying in front of him now, she would just die.

 

Daryl started panicking when she pulled away. He didn't want her to stop, he had simply been way to shocked to do anything. 

 

“I'm sorry, Daryl. I...”

 

“No.” he breathed while he quickly sat up as well. His movements were clumsy and showed that he was unsure of himself, but before Sam really registered what was happening, Daryl grabbed the back of her neck and roughly pulled her to him. Their noses bumped into each other and the next second, their mouths clashed with way too much force. Sam winced slightly, but Daryl didn't notice. He was a man on a mission and too focused on his own lips and his missing knowledge of what to do with them, to notice what was going on on Sam's side of the kiss. 

 

For Sam, the cold shower quickly turned into a rain of butterflies, whose fluttering wings felt like they were grazing her skin all over, making her tingle and come alive bit by bit. Even though his kiss felt like he'd never kissed anyone before, and it wasn't the best kiss she'd ever had, it was still the best damn kiss she'd ever had. Once her brain caught up with what was happening, she brought her hands back up to his face, and cradled it between them. With gentle pressure, she pushed him back a little, softening the bruising force of his onslaught. She let her lips ghost over his again, like she had before, caressing his mouth with her own, while she took charge of the kiss. Daryl still held on to her neck for dear life, but he let her slow him down and let her show him the way. He was still nervous and not quite sure what the hell he was doing, but he was on cloud 9. He was stunned by how good a simple kiss could feel. Having her lips on his was much better than it had been in his imagination. He was definitely overwhelmed, but for once, in a really good way. 

 

Sam couldn't help but smile into the kiss, when she felt him mimic her and kiss her back. He was doing everything she was doing, like parting his lips a little and catching her bottom lip between them, then her upper lip, over and over again. That's when Sam removed her hands from his face, and slung her arms around his neck, pressing herself closer against him. Daryl's grip on her still didn't let up, but the rest of his body was slowly starting to relax against her again as he was getting used to sharing a kiss with her. His very first kiss. 

 

_The wait paid off._ The thought popped up for a second until Sam threaded one hand through his hair and gently scratched his scalp. He was embarrassed that he shuddered and made a little noise, but Sam didn't laugh at him, much to his relief,... she just hugged him tighter. 

 

“Been wanting to do that for a while.” Sam declared with a big smile, when they broke apart, long minutes later.

 

“Shut up.” Daryl was still full of disbelief, and he was also back to blushing and averting his gaze.

 

Sam giggled and kissed his forehead. “I'm not kidding. I'm really not.” She lifted his head and looked into his eyes. “I really want this. I wouldn't play around with something like that. Never.”

 

Daryl acknowledged her words with a nod, before a little laugh escaped him. “Think I need a smoke.”

 

“Yeah, me, too. Let's go outside.” Sam got up and took his hand, guiding him over to the door, where they slipped into their shoes and jackets. Outside, Daryl lit a cigarette for each of them and they sat on the top step of the porch to smoke them. “I have a question, but I don't want to offend you.” Sam spoke up shortly after they had sat down.

 

_Here we go._ Daryl was sure he knew what she would ask. “Ask away then.”

 

“This was your first kiss... Wasn't it?” Sam asked carefully. She had started putting two and two together and suddenly his holding back so much and never initiating things made sense to her. **If** she was right.

 

“It showed, huh?” Daryl was a little bummed out by that.

 

“A little. But not in a bad way, if that makes any sense. You're definitely not a bad kisser.” Sam grinned, making Daryl blush again and fight a little proud smile. “Just felt like you maybe were... I don't know... new to the game?”

 

“Yeah... guess I am.”

 

“You've never had a girlfriend?”

 

“No.”

 

“Not even in school?”

 

Daryl shook his head. “No. Never let anyone get close... Just you.” he told her while looking at her through the safety curtain his hair provided him with in vulnerable moments like this.

 

This time it was Sam who wasn't able to breathe. His words made her extremely happy and made her feel special. She quickly leaned over and placed another kiss on him. Just like with the touching, Daryl tensed up again for a split-second, but when she pulled away, there was a little smirk on his face. “Shit... you're for real, huh?”

 

“I sure am.” she laughed and leaned her head against his shoulder. “What about sex? I know some guys think kissing is more intimate than screwing someone. Have you had, like, one-night-stands or something?”

 

“No.” he replied truthfully. “Nothin'.”

 

“That's alright... I'll be gentle.” Sam joked, successfully making him laugh out loud.

 

“Pffff... shut up.” he shook his head laughing. He was still red in the face, but he was glad that she wasn't all intense about it.

 

“Seriously, though? It's not making me think differently about you... if you worried about that. Alright?”

 

Daryl nodded and looked at her with a little smile. “Alright.... thanks.”

 

“Nothing to thank me for. It's all good... but, you do want this? I mean... I'm not pushing this... myself... on you?”

 

“I want it...” Daryl reassured her. “I'm just... 'new to the game'... gonna be an awkward fuck, I reckon.”

 

“It's gonna be a little less awkward with each passing day. I promise.”

 

Daryl nodded and took her word for it. “Would ya be mad if I wanted to leave now? I know it looks shitty, but... Think I wanna clear my head a little. And I wanna tell Merle 'bout the job. Ain't called him yet or nothing.”

 

“Yeah, no, sure... Go ahead.” Sam was a little bit disappointed, but she understood. These new things could be overwhelming, and Daryl might be worried that she expected more right away, even though she didn't. She remembered how she had practically bolted from her first boyfriends house after their first real make-out session, because she had been scared that he would wanna go all the way. Daryl was different than other guys. It was wonderful, but it took some getting used to on her part as well. Maybe it would be good for both of them to let this new development sink in for a couple of hours. 

 

“I gotta go take care of some things tomorrow morning, so I won't be at the diner. See ya at night?” Daryl asked her after he had stood up.

 

“I'll be here.” she nodded. 

 

Daryl nodded, too, before he started shuffling his feet and clearing his throat. Sam laughed quietly and closed the gap between them. “Good night, Daryl. Drive safe.” she whispered against his lips before she kissed him good night. 

 

“Always do.” he said, before he mustered up the courage to lean in once more and give her another peck. “See ya tomorrow.” he said with a little smile before he got in his truck and drove home.

* * *

The next morning Sam was almost floating through the diner. She couldn't believe that Daryl and her had really kissed. It felt like a beautiful dream and she hoped she would never wake up. 

 

“What can I get you, Merle?” she downright chirped when she reached his booth, which he was occupying by himself, since Daryl had errands to run.

 

“The usual, Sugar.” 

 

“Coming right up.” she said while she left the table again, not noticing how closely Merle was studying her. 

 

“Here you go, Merle. Enjoy.” she smiled when she served him his breakfast a little later.

 

“Awww, you're a doll.” he said overly polite. Sam had already turned around to leave when he made her freeze in her tracks. “Or should I say you're a real doe? As in **Bambi**?”

 

_ Shit! No, no, no, no, no... come on!  _ Bambi had been her stripper name. Merle remembered. There was her wake-up call.

* * *

** Thank you for reading. **

 

** Dun, dun, duuuun. Yeah, this is one of my more predictable stories, I guess, lol. Guess those of you who were curious about Daryl's reaction finding out about her stripper days, will be rejoicing about that scene coming up very soon;-) **

** Thank you for all the kudos and comments. Much love to all of you. **

 

** Hope all of you had a Happy Easter, and as usual, tell me what you think. **


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 

“Ha, I knew I wasn't crazy.” Merle grinned triumphantly. “I never forget a face. Yeah, alright, I admit it,... didn't look at your face too often...” he let his gaze run up and down her body suggestively, making Sam clench her fists and bite her tongue. “You also did a fine job changin' yer looks. That's why it took me a while to recognize you.”

 

“It's amazing what hair dye, extensions, colored contacts, spray tan and heavy make up can do...” Sam said tersely, all the happiness gone from her system. “Did you tell him?”

 

“Get your friend to cover for you and meet me outside when I'm done eatin'. Now shoo. Not that I don't enjoy the view, but let a man eat in peace, would ya?” Sam wanted to slap the shit-eating grin off of Merle's face, but she knew that that wouldn't earn her any favors at all.

 

Sam didn't respond. She left for another table to take some orders, but she was merely functioning on auto-pilot. Inside her mind the events that were sure to come were already unfolding. Merle would tell Daryl, Daryl wouldn't be pleased at all, he would break it all off at once, she would be absolutely devastated. Scratch that... she was devastated already. She should have just told Daryl right at the beginning, get it out of the way. Now it was too late for that. Now it looked like she had been keeping secrets. Well, she had... but only because she had liked him so much already back then. It was no excuse though. He will be right to be mad as hell, which she assumed he would be. She had sabotaged herself again. She had tried so hard, but she had gone and done it again. She didn't deserve good things anymore. This was a clear reminder of that. She had been too happy.

 

As soon as she saw Merle go outside, she nodded towards Jess, who would cover for her for a couple of minutes, and quickly followed him. “So,... you finally remembered, yeah?”

 

“Had some help.” Merle told her while he casually leaned back against the wall and smoked his cigarette.

 

“Help? What do you mean?”

 

“Me and my buddy Lizard went down to the club last night.”

 

“Lizard... of course...” Sam sighed deeply with a roll of her eyes when she remembered one of the guys who had developed a little infatuation with her.

 

“Yeah, we both hadn't been there for a while. Had to lay low after we got ourselves in some trouble with one of 'em bouncers ya had there. Heard he got fired, so we were free to go back, and we did. Imagine how broken up he was when he found out that his precious Bambi wasn't gonna dance for him no more. One of 'em other girls said that ya quit a couple months ago. That ya started working at a diner. That's when all 'em bells up here started ringing. Who started working at Patsy's a couple months ago and seemed fucking familiar? That's right... my brother's hot, new, little girlfriend.”

 

“Did you tell him?”

 

“You know what's funny to me?” Merle ignored Sam's question for the second time. “My brother ain't never wanted much out of life. He was perfectly happy with what we had. Wasn't interested in no chicks, neither. Thought he was fucking gay for a while, 'til I caught him with one of my momma's catalogs back in the day. Face as red as a fire engine. Must'a been 15 years or so... But other than that... nothin'. And then you come along. And you got great timing, I gotta say, Bambi. He gets a job that pays him a crapload of dough just for drivin' a truck around, and suddenly y'all hook up, huh? Seems all kinda convenient. You quit at the club, sink your hooks into Daryl, make him get a job... lemme guess what your next move's gon' be... You're gon' get yourself fired, and Daryl, 'cause he's such a sweet, little knight in his fucking shining armor, he's gon' give ya money,... help ya out, until ya find a new gig... which ya never will, 'cause he's bringing in the cash, and plenty of it. Enough for the two of ya to live comfortably. Right?”

 

“Not even close.”

 

“What's your angle here, Bambi?” Merle's expression had hardened considerably. He didn't take lightly to anyone using him or his little brother.

 

“There is no angle, Merle. Daryl wanted to find a job even before I started working here. That's what he told me.”

 

“Really? Why should I fucking believe ya? The day he took ya home the first time, was the day he suddenly started doin' his own thing. Not wanting to go with me during the day no more. You sayin' that was his own idea?”

 

“Yes. Because he almost died because of you, Merle. Is it really hard to believe that he wants out of that whole drug scene?”

 

“Don't matter anyway.” Merle's grin was back. “'Cause as soon as he finds out about ya, you're gon' be yesterday's news. Worth less to him than dog shit.”

 

Sam hated herself for it, but Merle's words brought tears to her eyes. The thought that Daryl would turn his back on her made them spill over. “I love him, Merle.”

 

“Ha! Right. Why don't ya piss in my ear and tell me it's raining, too?” Merle was extremely amused. “Don't nobody love a Dixon, honey. The only person who's ever gonna care about him is me. Always been like that and it's gonna stay like that. You better tell him quick, Bambi. I ain't known for bein' able to keep secrets. I turn into quite a blabbermouth when I've had my sweets.” Merle said conversationally while he took his last drag. “Tell him, and then do both of y'all a favor and stay away from him. Ain't nothing there for ya to get. Go find another fool for your little games, or you won't like what happens.”

 

He walked past her, giving her a hard stare while he left. He didn't buy her tears for even a second. _Women. All the same._ “Oh, and thanks for breakfast. I'm assuming it's on the house.” he chuckled, delivering one last kick before he rounded the corner and left her alone with her sorrow. Where he was concerned, she was only sad about not being able to drain any money out of Daryl.

* * *

Hours later, the tears still ran down her face. The sobbing had ceased, but the tears had not. She was a mess, and she hadn't even talked to Daryl yet. For the first time she was dreading the moment he would come over. Her stomach felt like it was filled with a ton of lead. She hadn't been able to eat or drink anything all day, which, combined with the crying, had given her a hellish headache. It was one of those days where she would just be ready to die once Daryl would leave, which she was very sure he would. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to afford to crumble and give in. She would go to an AA meeting later, because this whole thing already made her feel like she wanted a drink... or twenty.

 

She laid down on the couch, because the restless pacing made her headache worse. The wait for Daryl was driving her insane. For the hundredth time, the whole thing she expected to happen, played out in front of her inner eye like a movie.

 

“ _Sam?” Daryl called out for her when he entered the house, but his smile vanished as soon as he saw her. “What's going on? You look like crap.” He was as brutally honest as ever, but he was also concerned. She really did look terrible, all pale and with her eyes so red that there was barely any white left anymore. “Someone die?”_

 

“ _Just my dreams.” she muttered while she got over her shock._

 

“ _What?”_

 

“ _Nothing.” she shook her head and wiped at her tears. “I'm so sorry... we have to talk. Can you sit down, please?”_

 

_Daryl's expression hardened, when her words registered. “Nah. I'm good. Just spit it out. Already know what you're gonna say. Changed your mind, huh? Don't want this after all.”_

 

“ _Oh, I want this. You have no idea how much I want this,... but there's something I haven't told you about yet.” she sniffed and tried to keep calm enough to actually be able to talk. “You want a drink or something?”_

 

“ _No. I don't want no drink. I wanna know what the fuck is going on here.” he said while he crossed his arms over his chest. He was still surprisingly calm, but his voice had dropped lower and came out gruffer than before._

 

“ _You know how Merle kept saying he knew me?”_

 

“ _Mhm.”_

 

“ _He wasn't wrong.” Sam finally admitted._

 

“ _Wha'?”_

 

“ _I've known him for a while. Not know know, but I knew who he was. I've seen him a couple of times.”_

 

_Daryl's eyes narrowed. He didn't quite know where this was going, but he already knew that he wouldn't like it one bit. “Seen him where?”_

 

“ _Bare Essentials.”_

 

“ _Bare Essentials? What?” Daryl had no idea what that was supposed to mean, until it hit him. “Wait,... that strip club?”_

 

“ _Yes.”_

 

“ _Ya saw him there? The fuck were ya doin' in that fucked up club?”_

 

“ _I worked there, Daryl.” she told him with the wavering mess that was her voice in that moment._

 

_Daryl froze when he realized what that meant. Anger started to build, making every muscle in his body tense up. “Ya worked there? As what? A fucking stripper?” he spat viciously. He already knew the answer and it made him want to lash out and hurt her, just like she was hurting him in that moment. “So ya fucking lied? Ya said, ya didn't have a job.”_

 

“ _I never said that. I said that time was a blur...”_

 

“ _Lying by omission is still fucking lying, Sam. That even your real name? Or is it some kind of stupid stripper name?” he shouted at her, while he started pacing the floor._

 

“ _It's my real name, Daryl. Please let me explain.”_

 

“ _Nah... don't need ya to explain shit.” he scoffed. “My brother saw ya naked. Shit, half the town saw ya naked.” the realization made his rage grow tenfold. He whirled around and got in her face, full on yelling. “Did ya have fun? Did ya get your rocks off by rubbing your ass on his dick? Ya fuck him? Huh? How many of them did ya fuck?”_

 

“ _I was a stripper, not a prostitute, Daryl. There is a difference.”_

 

“ _Pffff, right. Keep telling yourself that if it lets ya sleep at night.” he shook his head with a humorless laugh. He was so angry, he wasn't able to see straight._

 

_What he said made Sam's tears stop for a moment. She looked at him with an incredulous expression. “Are you serious? You know what? No!”_

 

“ _No, what?”_

 

“ _You don't get to do this. You have every right in the book to be mad at me for not telling you sooner, but you do **not** get to shame me for what I did.”_

 

“ _Yeah, 'cause it's such an honorable profession.”_

 

“ _Stop. I did what I had to do-”_

 

“ _Right. Somebody force you at gunpoint to act like a slut and take your clothes off for money in front of all of 'em perverts? No? Yeah... didn't think so.”_

 

“ _You're acting like an ass!”_

 

“ _That's what I am, Sam! That's what I've been telling you all along.” he was back to yelling._

 

“ _It's not true. Just get that in that thick head of yours.” she yelled right back, then she took a deep breath and took a step back. “You're angry. I understand that. You are right to be, Daryl. I will accept if you don't ever want to see me again after tonight, but please, let me explain what happened back then. Please.”_

 

Sam jumped and her eyes snapped open, when her front door slammed shut for real. Her mouth went dry, her heart started slamming against her ribcage, and she swallowed several times in order to fight the urge to throw up. She sat up quickly, which her head immediately punished her for. She winced and pressed the heel of her hand against her temple. 

 

“Sam?” 

 

She looked up to see Daryl stand in front of the couch with worry in his eyes. “You don't look good. You sick?”

 

“No. Just had a shitty day.” she put on a brave smile. 

 

Daryl nodded and finally came closer. He gently lifted her legs and sat down before laying them over his lap, so he could be as close to her as possible. He looked at her nervously, but made no move to give her a kiss. Looked like he still needed some more time to get used to it all. Sam couldn't help herself. She put her hand to his cheek and pulled his face closer. She kissed him a little harder than the night before and she lingered a little longer as well, trying to get her fill as much as possible before it would all go to hell. Tears pricked behind her eyelids and much to her embarrassment, a little sob escaped her. 

 

Daryl pulled away and frowned. “The hell is wrong? Something happen?”

 

“Yeah.” Sam sighed shakily. “I have to tell you something.”

 

“Sick of me already?” he half-joked, but on the inside he was scared that it might really be the case.

 

“No. Never. Shit... you're gonna hate me.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I kept something from you. About my past. About what I did when I came here... You asked a couple of times, but I never gave you a straight answer. I didn't mean to deceive you or anything... I didn't tell you, because I was very sure that you wouldn't want to be friends with me when you found out... and I really, really wanted to be friends with you,... and then we got closer and, you know... I developed feelings and I wanted more with you and then of course I didn't tell you, because I just knew you would run for the hills...”

 

“Ain't givin' me a lot of credit, are ya?” he interrupted her with a little laugh. 

 

“That's not it. I know what people think when they hea-”

 

“Sam?” he interrupted her yet again.

 

“What?”

 

“I already know... about the club and everything. About you workin' as a stripper.”

 

Sam's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head, while her jaw dropped to the ground. Daryl smirked at her shocked expression. Seemed like she had expected to shock the hell out of him tonight, but now she was the one who was speechless. He was getting a little kick out of that.

 

“You... You know?!?!?!”

 

“Yeah. Known for a couple of weeks.”

 

“A couple of weeks?!?” Sam shouted in disbelief.

 

“That's what I said.” he nodded with an amused smile playing along his lips. “It don't change nothin', Sam. Still kept comin' here almost every night, didn't I? It don't matter. Jus' like me bein'... you know... It don't change how I think about ya... That why yer so upset?”

 

“Well... yeah... I thought you would freak out. Like, major blow-out fight. I played through it in my head countless times today.... A couple of weeks... how on Earth did you find out?”

 

“A couple of days after we were up by them waterfalls, I went to Patsy's pretty late. Sat at the counter, while they were starting to get things ready for closing. Was just me and another guy. Those girls you work with, they were talking. Guess as soon as your name came up, I paid more attention.” he blushed slightly at that. “One of 'em talked 'bout taking some class at the gym. Like a pole dancin' class or somethin'? And the other one asked why she would spend money on a class, 'cause they work with you. Said you worked at that club as a stripper and knew a thing or two about pole dancin'... said she should just ask you to teach her.” Daryl explained what he had witnessed a little over a month ago. 

 

“She did ask me, but I said no. Never gonna do that again. Ugh, I wanna kill them, but it's not really their fault. When you're behind the counter with the back to the people, you just forget they're there...” Sam released a deep, long breath and rubbed her pale face and red eyes. “Why didn't you say anything?”

 

He shrugged. “Dunno. Something about not poking the bear? Lettin' sleeping dogs lie? Figured you had your reasons why ya didn't tell me. I knew 'bout that shit with your ex and you livin' off the grid for a while. Put two and two together. Knew that the companies who would've hired you wouldn't have agreed to pay ya in cash, so I'm guessin' you didn't have too many options to get money. When we started hanging out more, ya didn't struck me as the kinda person who did it because ya liked it so much... Thought maybe ya were too embarrassed to tell me,... Thought one day when you're ready, you're gonna come out with it. I knew you were tryin' ta start over. Thought you wanted to keep the past in the past, so who am I to bring it up if you ain't ready to tell, you know?” 

 

“And it doesn't bother you at all? You know your brother was there a lot, right?” A fresh batch of tears rolled down her cheeks and Daryl carefully wiped them away with his fingers. His tenderness coupled with his understanding made her cry even more.

 

“Yeah, I know...” Daryl sighed. “Ain't gonna lie, it's a tough pill to swallow... Look, I don't care what ya were. Ain't like ya killed someone... It's done. You got a different life now. Ain't strippin' no more, ain't doin' booze no more... Turned over a new leaf and shit... That's what counts right now. And about Merle... he don't even remember. He don't know that what he saw was you.”

 

“He does know. He remembered.” Sam sniffed and all her hope flew out the window when she saw the surprise on his face. “Why do you think I'm such a mess today? Why I wanted to tell you today?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“This morning at work,... he told me he remembered. His friend Lizard? He was one of my biggest 'fans'. They were at the club last night and Lizard asked one of the girls about me. She told him I quit and worked at a diner now, so Merle put two and two together as well.”

 

“Awwww shit...” Daryl let his head fall back against the back of the couch and pinched the bridge of his nose. That was most certainly a bummer (and that was probably the understatement of the year). He was okay with Sam's former job. He would never judge her for that, especially not since she probably didn't have a choice, but knowing that Merle had seen the woman, he was getting involved with, naked, wasn't easy to deal with. The fact that Merle hadn't known that it had been Sam, had made it a lot easier, but now that was gone. _He ain't never gon' shut up about it. That's gonna suck._ However, it still didn't change how Daryl felt about her. He wouldn't give up on this, because of Merle having ogled her naked body. It sucked, but he would find a way to deal with it. Hopefully. “What did he say?” 

 

“Unsurprisingly, he wasn't very nice.” Sam scoffed. “He wants to protect you.”

 

“From you?” Daryl was slightly amused by that, but his smile quickly died on his lips, when he saw the sadness in her eyes.

 

“Yeah. He thinks it's too much of a coincidence that you started living your own life the day we met. He thinks I am using you. That I saw you and thought you would be the perfect gullible pawn in my plan to never have to work again or something like that.”

 

“What? The hell is he thinking?”

 

“He thinks I made you get a job. He thinks that I only hooked up with you, because you're bringing in the big bucks now, and that I'm gonna get myself fired, so I can sit on my ass and have you pay for me until the end of days. He doesn't believe that you wanted this for yourself, to get a job and to spend time away from him. He told me to stay away from you, or else...”

 

“Or else... Or else what? He threaten you?” Now Daryl did get angry. 

 

“He said I wouldn't like what happens if I didn't leave you alone.”

 

“Don't you worry 'bout Merle. Stupid shithead.” Daryl cursed his brother, making Sam crack a smile.

 

“He's your brother and he loves you. He just wants to make sure you're safe.”

 

“Don't defend him. He had no right to say that shit to you. Imma talk to him tomorrow.” Daryl promised. “Now come on, stop crying. We're good.”

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

“Stop.”

 

“I should have told you right away. This keeping secrets shit is never leading to anything good. I don't deserve to get this lucky... with you being such a damn angel about it all.” She started sobbing again when all the tension burst out of her. “I almost screwed this whole thing up, just because I was too afraid to come out with it. I never have trouble telling people, just with you, I was so scared to loose you, and now I almost lost you because I didn't tell you and... shit I'm a fucking mess...”

 

“Hey... stop. It's alright.” He put his hand on her shoulder, unsure if she wanted a hug, but Sam immediately climbed on his lap and straddled him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in the crook between his head and her arm. Daryl wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, letting her cry it out. “Come on, stop crying. Shhhhh,... it's all good. Come on, Sammy. It's okay.”

 

_ Sammy?  _ That made her cry even harder. He had never called her that before, but it sounded so comforting and sweet and affectionate coming from his lips, that she never wanted him to call her anything else ever again. “I like that.” she pressed out between sobs, making Daryl frown.

 

“You like what?”

 

“You called me Sammy. I like that. Nobody ever called me that before.”

 

“Seriously? Nobody?”

 

“No.” Sam pulled back, wiping at her wet face while she shook her head. “My parents say Sam or Samina and all my friends always called me Sam, too. My grandparents always called me Mina. But no Sammy.”

 

“Hm. I like Sammy better than Sam.” Daryl mused almost to himself. He hadn't even consciously called her that, it had just slipped out while he'd tried to comfort her, but the thought of being the only one to call her that appealed to him for whatever reason.

 

“I like it, too.” she smiled, then she leaned in and kissed him sweetly, before she hid her face in his hair again, letting him hold her for a while longer. “Daryl?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“There's something else. And I swear, after that, you know everything.”

 

“What now?” he asked, a little wariness seeping into his gaze.

 

“When I left my ex and Charleston... I wasn't alone.”

 

“What's that mean?”

 

“Come with me.” Sam climbed off his lap and took his hand. She guided him to the one room he'd never been in. He'd assumed that it was a spare bedroom for guests and that maybe she used it for storage, since they had always slept on the couch whenever he had stayed the night. Sam opened the door and turned on the lights, and Daryl found himself right smack in the middle of a little boy's dream. Now he was the one who was shocked after all. He hadn't seen that coming at all.

 

He looked around, silently taking everything in for a little moment, before he spoke up. “Didn't kidnap a kid, did ya?”

 

“No, of course not. Well, in a way... maybe. But he's mine... My son.”

 

He nodded and started to get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, when he remembered her drinking problem. He feared that it might not have been the stripping and the fear of her ex that had driven her into alcoholism. “Is he dead?”

 

“No! God, no.” Sam quickly exclaimed. The thought alone was making her shudder. “He's fine. He's with my parents. They took him a couple of months after we got here.”

 

Daryl didn't know what to think or how he felt. A little overwhelmed maybe. A little bit mad, too. “I get why ya didn't tell me bout the strippin'... but ya could have told me about him at least.” Daryl mumbled while he picked up a book and thumbed through the colorful pages. 

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

“Why didn't ya?”

 

“I don't know. It tied in with the whole stripping and stuff... I should have told you everything right away.”

 

“Yeah, maybe...”

 

“Now you're mad.”

 

He shrugged. “Dunno if I am... “ he put the book back on the shelf and looked around some more, picking up a toy here and there. The whole room looked like the kid was just at daycare or something. Like all of this was just waiting for him to come back and get played with. Knowing that the kid wouldn't come here made the whole thing have a bit of a sad feel to it. Daryl shook it off and sighed. “After I heard about your old job, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, ya know? And now this... Little more than I bargained for. Don't like feelin' like this... Like I don't know what's going on. Like I ain't got no control over shit. It's why I'm tryin' to get out of the whole Merle lifestyle...” Daryl had no idea what he was even saying. There were a lot of unanswered questions and Sam would have to provide at least some answers before he would be able to sort through all of what was going on inside of him. “Come on. Let's make some coffee and then you're gonna tell me what happened when ya got here...”

* * *

“River was just 6 months old when we left his father and came here. He was the main reason I finally left. I didn't want to die and leave him in the hands of his father. Who knows what Oliver would have done to him... I told Oliver a couple of times that I would leave if he wouldn't stop hitting me. He threatened to take River away from me if I would leave him. That he would find a way to get full custody. Not because he loves his son so damn much, but because it would hurt me.”

 

“Sounds like a real prize.” Daryl scoffed quietly.

 

“Obviously, yeah... I don't know why I chose that day to leave. I don't know why I didn't leave sooner,... Didn't know what to do or too scared of being on my own... I don't know. But I finally got off my ass, packed a bag as soon as Oliver left in the morning, went to the bank, got my money, which wasn't too much, but enough to get us started, and then I put River in the car and started driving. Next I did some stuff I had seen in some really bad movies.” Sam laughed a little. “Ditched the car by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere and walked until my back and feet wouldn't keep going anymore. I chopped off some of my hair and dyed it in a dirty gas station bathroom. I'm not kidding. It was bad, but I guess it worked. I walked some more until I found the guy who sold me the Jetta. Loaded River and our stuff in the car and kept driving and at one point, we landed here. Seemed like a nice place and it was far enough from home, and frankly, I was tired.” She laughed again. “I think we both slept for three days straight. River was completely worn out, too. Half the time he slept with my breast still in his mouth, because he kept falling asleep while I fed him... but he bounced back quickly. After that, I checked the internet for news from Charleston. Oliver was looking for us. I found some reports. They found the car and that's where they lost us. I did a good job. I wore colored contacts, lots of make-up, kept bleaching my hair... Nobody really asked any questions. Oliver had given the press newborn pics of River, which was a lucky for us. He looked different than the pics, too. You know what happened next. I was still paranoid that he would find us. I wasn't able to relax at all. Money got tight, too and I needed a job. Like you said, I needed them to give me cash. Didn't dare opening an account... I still don't have one. So yeah, I didn't have many options where work was concerned. I needed a job that would pay well enough for us to get everything we would need and enough so that I could afford a nanny while I worked. I very quickly found out that providing for River would be much much harder than I had thought. I was lucky that he was still so little and I was able to breastfeed him and didn't need to feed him too many solids, but because I wasn't eating right, my milk supply got less and less. Needless to say, I was now able to add a lot of stress and worry to my paranoia. That's when the real trouble started. One day we were out, just taking a stroll, when some guy approached me. He gave me his card and said if I would ever be out of a job, I should give him a call. So I did. It was the manager of Bare Essentials. With my bleached blonde hair and tacky make-up and the knockers, guess I had stripper written all over me.”

 

“Ya really had blonde hair? Can't even imagine what that looked like. Ain't you at all.” Daryl mumbled with a frown while he took in her brunette locks.

 

“I know. I hated it, but it did the trick. Anyway, I called the guy and he told me to come there for an interview. I was so excited that I didn't even check what kind of establishment he was managing. Imagine my shock when I got there and found out I was auditioning to be one of the dancers.”

 

“But you did it?”

 

“No. I bolted. I held out for another three weeks, but when I wasn't even able to buy some bananas and wet wipes for River, I gave in. It was hell. I've never been shy. I've always been mostly okay with my body... not in love with it, but it was alright... but dear God, this was just a whole different ball park. All these people staring at you while you move around up there and take your clothes off... One more thing to pile on top of the stress and paranoia. I wasn't able to deal with it all anymore. I wasn't able to look at myself in the mirror any longer. I wasn't ashamed for taking my clothes off for money, because it enabled me to give River what he needed, but I was ashamed for how I was fucking up my life and his. The drinking started and it got more and more. It went on for about three or four months. One day, River got sick and I was so out of it that I didn't wake up when he cried. He was in pain and I didn't even notice. Neighbors said he had cried a long time...” Sam started crying again when she remembered that horrible day and how River had to suffer because of her. “I put him in danger... because of me he had to suffer for hours, before I woke up. That's when I knew that I wasn't able to keep going like that. I contacted my parents and told them everything. They thought we had died for sure. We had been off the radar for almost half a year. They came to see us immediately and when they learned what was going on, they told me they would take River... bring him back into a normal and healthy environment, while I took care of myself and got help for my problems. I let them. It tore my heart out, but it was the best thing for him. I got treatment, stopped drinking, did all the counseling stuff, started going to meetings, started looking for another job. I had to dance sober for six months... that's not an easy feat, I'm telling you. But I did it. I fought through it and at one meeting I met Patty from the diner. I had shared at the meeting that day and we got to talking and went for coffee and she offered me help to get out of that club. The rest is history.”

 

Daryl nodded. “That's quite a story. What about your ex? He ain't looking for you no more?”

 

“Not actively, I think. It's been over a year. I don't know how it works, but I'm guessing it's like a cold case now. Missing people who never get found... I'm still worried sometimes, especially now that I'm no longer disguising, but I think he moved on by now.”

 

“If he ever shows up here, Imma kick his ass into the next century, don't worry.”

 

Sam smiled at that. “Does that mean you're gonna stick around? Despite everything?”

 

“It don't change nothin', Sam.” he assured her once more. “I ain't happy 'bout my brother knowing ya like that... I ain't happy ya kept your son from me, but I can deal with that. Just no more secrets now, alright?”

 

“I promise.”

 

“I gotta ask something though.”

 

“What?”

 

“When ya danced and Merle was there... “

 

“There has never been any physical contact between us, I promise. All I did was take my clothes off. I never did any friction dances or something like that. Never. With no one. Just looking, no touching.” Sam vowed.

 

Daryl released a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. That certainly made things a bit easier to deal with again. “Alright. That's all I needed ta know.” Daryl leaned back comfortably against the sofa and gently touched her arm, signaling her that he was ready for some cuddling again. Sam snuggled into his side and made a little happy sound when he wrapped his arms around her to hug her to him tightly. Sam tilted her head up and tentatively pressed her lips against his, carefully testing if he was up for some kisses as well. This time he responded immediately and put his new skill to use, even daring to part his lips a little more and suck on her bottom lip just a little bit. 

 

The sound Sam made in the back of her throat was exhilarating to Daryl. He had never thought that he would ever be a guy to draw any sounds of pleasure out of a woman, but here he was. It boosted his confidence and he started to feel a bit more secure in this new situation. Sam let him guide her this time. She didn't want to take charge and push forward and overwhelm him more than she already had tonight. She let him set the pace and the intensity, but she was pleasantly surprised, when his kisses deepened a little and got a bit more passionate. It was so amazing for her to see and feel, that she wasn't the only one affected by it all after all. It certainly made her feel a lot less needy, and for that she was grateful. 

 

“I hate myself for interrupting this...” Sam sighed with regret when she pulled away a little later, “... but I wanna go to a meeting. Today has really done a number on me.”

 

“I'll take ya.” Daryl said and gently pushed her off.

 

“Hey...” Sam smiled and stopped him for a moment. “You're driving me crazy, you know that?”

 

“What?”

 

“You're definitely a natural.” Sam grinned and traced her index finger over his soft lips.

 

“Yeah?” Daryl was smiling proudly with an endearing blush creeping into his cheeks. 

 

“Yeah.” she nodded and pressed her lips down on his once more. “You coming back here with me later?”

 

“I will. Ain't gon' leave ya alone tonight. I'll wait outside at the meeting. Get us something to eat while you're in there.”

 

“Sounds good. Thank you.”

 

“Anytime. Let's go, I'm starving already.”

* * *

** Thank you for reading. **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, she will get her son back eventually. Patience;-)
> 
> Thoughts? I know everyone had their own expectations of how Daryl was going to take the news. I agree with the reviewer loveorpain, who said that Daryl is not one to judge someone for their past/job/etc. It made sense to me that he already knew but just kept it to himself and let her tell him in her own time. Still, I like some angry Daryl, so I had both versions in here, Sam's imagination of how he might react, and his actual reaction. Hope you liked it.
> 
> Tell me what you think.
> 
> Of course they are not done discussing everything yet, there will be some more to come in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the lovely comments and kudos.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

Sam's smile was tired, but happy when she exited the community center and found Daryl casually leaning against his truck, smoking a cigarette. His sharp eyes gave her a quick once-over, before his mouth quirked up into a little smile when she came closer. “Feel better?”

 

“Mhm.” she used his trademark grunt while she grabbed him by his vest and pulled him to her for a big kiss. She sighed contentedly when she pulled away and grasped his wrist to lift his hand up to her mouth, so she was able to take a drag from his cigarette.

 

“Ya still don't look good.”

 

“I know. I haven't eaten today, then all the crying... I have a headache from hell. I need aspirin and food.”

 

“Got a pizza in the truck. Get in. Let's get ya home.” he opened and closed the door for her, before he got in himself and drove them back to her place.

 

Sam wore an amused expression when she opened the pizza carton and found half a pizza instead of a whole one.

 

“Was starving.” Daryl shrugged sheepishly, making her laugh while he sat in the opposite corner of the couch.

 

“It's alright. I don't mind.” she told him while she took a slice and leaned back comfortably to eat. “Mmmm, it's good. I love me some greasy pizza.”

 

“You don't look it.”

 

“I don't have it often.” she explained and took another bite. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Dunno. Alright, I guess.”

 

“You know that I don't mind at all if you sit a little closer, right?” she winked with a smile, loving how bashful the tough guy could get.

 

Daryl scooted closer, but he suddenly looked to be deep in thought. Sam let him be while she ate, until he let out a quiet laugh. “I'm sorry.”

 

Sam looked at him with a little smile, but a questioning gaze. “What?”

 

“I'm shit at this.” he murmured and waved his index finger back and forth between them.

 

“You're not.”

 

“Yeah, I am. I ain't no fool, Sam. I can tell I'm not doing this right.”

 

“It's been **one** week of cuddling and a handful of kisses, Daryl. Give yourself some time... And there is no specific doing it right. There are no guidelines or a rule book, Daryl You just need to get used to it all. The most important thing is, that you relax. That's all you have to do. Relax and do what feels good and comfortable to you, the rest will fall into place, I promise. Want me to tell you about my first relationship? About how clumsy and weird I was with my first boyfriend?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“I was barely able to say anything to him. I always felt like a complete moron. I didn't dare taking his hand. I didn't dare kiss him. I didn't dare touch him. He always had to initiate everything and that went for pretty much the whole 5 months we were together. You are already way more confident than I used to be, trust me on that.”

 

“Pffff.” he huffed in disbelief.

 

“It's true, Daryl. We both grew up similarly in the sense that our parents never really showed us what love was, right? There were no hugs, no cuddles, no kisses, no affection. Showing affection meant to be weak and to embarrass oneself. Trust me when I say, that I know exactly how you feel with all these new things. I literally had no idea if it was okay to show someone that you like them. He was my boyfriend, but I still doubted that he would want me to kiss him or touch him. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you are having the same doubts right now. It's what held me back. Not shyness, but doubts that someone would really want me that close.”

 

“Difference is, you were a teenage girl. I'm supposed to be a fucking grown man. Shouldn't act like a teenage girl.”

 

“You're not. So, am I right? Or close? About those doubts?”

 

“Mhm... right on the money, I reckon. Just ain't sure that ya really want all this.”

 

“But you're sure that **you** want all this?”

 

“I am.”

 

“That's good. I know that what I'm about to say, won't magically chase all those doubts away, but you can believe me when I say, that I love having you close. I freaking crave it. I love when you touch me and I love when you kiss me. You can do it all whenever you feel like it. I won't ever mind. Quite the opposite actually.”

 

“I'll keep it in mind.” he smiled and handed her another slice of pizza.

 

“No pressure though. Alright?”

 

“I know.” he nodded. He didn't feel pressured. Not by her. “Now stop talking and eat, before ya faint.”

 

“Yes, Sir!” she giggled and earned herself a mock-glare. “Sorry. Shutting up now.”

 

Sam hungrily wolfed down the rest of the pizza, before she let herself fall back on the couch with a full belly and with the headache slowly melting away. She grinned at Daryl and crooked her index finger in a come hither motion.

 

“Don't wanna crush you.” Daryl said, but he was already getting on his knees on the couch, so he could scoot further up and lay next to her or on top of her or whatever she wanted him to do. He still wasn't sure what he should be doing. 

 

“You won't. Don't worry so much.” she smiled gently and smoothed his hair out of his face when he was hovering over her. “Try to turn this off.” she tapped her fingertips against his forehead. “It's hard to do that, I know... Uh, I have an idea.” her eyes went wide and her smile widened as well. “Stay right where you are.” Sam slid out from under him and switched off the lamps left and right of the sofa. Then she plunged the room into darkness, by turning off the TV as well, and much to his own surprise, Daryl immediately started relaxing. The darkness was soothing and comforting and being close to her seemed suddenly less intimidating. “How's that? You feel okay?” Sam asked while she rejoined him on the sofa and carefully slipped back into her old spot, on her back with him towering over her.

 

“'s better.” he murmured.

 

“Right? I felt the same back then. And sometimes not being able to see made me able to feel more and actually focus on feeling, instead of thinking too much about it all.”

 

“Might be the same for me.” Daryl admitted quietly, glad that she was no longer able to see him blush. It made him feel less awkward.

 

“It's worth a shot.” Sam was gently pulling at him, as always, giving him enough opportunity to pull away and get out of the situation if he didn't feel comfortable enough. He was grateful for it. It cemented his trust in her. Her repeated show of patience made him relax more quickly every time they shared this kind of physical contact. Deep down Daryl knew, that he had been right to choose her. To let her be the first one to get close to him. She was pushing him (she had to or else they would never move forward with anything), but she didn't push him too far, too quickly. Daryl was glad for her guidance while they eased their way into all these new things. Well, new for him. He hoped that one day he would be able to return the favor and take care of her, like she was taking care of him. Every touch of hers, no matter how little, it always felt loving and caring. Like he was something to be cherished and handled with care. Nobody had ever treated him like that before, and to finally have that felt amazing. He wanted to be the one to make her feel the same way. He wanted to be a real man for her. He wanted to be able to wrap her up in his arms and make her feel safe and sheltered and cared for, but he had no idea how to do that just yet. It was a tough one to figure out by himself, after he'd had people telling him what to do for a long time. It was a relief to know that Sam knew exactly what he felt like in moments like these and that she had no problem taking charge while he was still figuring things out. 

 

He quickly found himself half on top of her, with their legs entangled. Both of them had one leg wedged between those of the other. Sam laughed a bit nervously, while she still moved around, trying to find a position that would be comfortable for both of them. His right arm was soon wedged underneath her and acting as a neck pillow for her, while his left hand rested on her ribs on her right side. “This okay?” she asked, the smile still in her voice.

 

“Fine.” Daryl chuckled right along with her. It was actually more than fine to him. To have her in his arms like that, with her lithe frame under him, made his protectiveness flare up again. He liked it. He liked feeling how small she was compared to him. It gave him the illusion of maybe being able to be a man for her. 

 

Sam let her hand glide up his left arm, blindly searching for his face. When she felt his scruff against her palm and fingertips, she brought her other hand up, too, in order to cradle his face and slowly pull him down to meet her lips. “Mmmmmmm...” the quiet moan escaped her as soon as Daryl lightly sucked on her bottom lip again. She felt him smile a little against her mouth when she made the sound. She grinned, because she was able to visualize the proud little expression he was sporting right now, and rightfully so. The mood and their kisses turned playful. Sam nipped at his bottom lip and giggled happily when she felt him shudder. It was so much fun to do this with him for the very first time... to have them both find out together what he responded to, because Daryl didn't have a clue what he liked. Experimentally, Sam slowly flicked the tip of her tongue against his lips, testing if he would be up for taking things to the next level. She was more than just a little surprised, when she immediately felt him part his lips for her. There was absolutely no hesitation this time. 

 

She dipped her tongue into the hot cavern of his mouth, and when she gently nudged the tip of her tongue against his, all the laughter and playfulness flew right out the window. Both of them shuddered and Sam moaned low in her throat, while Daryl made a little sound in the back of his as his breath hitched. Electricity zipped through them faster than a lightning bolt, making all their nerve endings come alive and tingle with excitement. Daryl had never felt anything like it, but he realized quickly that kissing her like this was like a potent drug and he was instantly highly addicted. He paid attention to what she was doing and once again mimicked her, and before he knew it, his ever racing mind shut down, while he let himself fall into the sensations, their exploring, roaming and swirling tongues were creating. No embarrassment, no doubts, no shame... just a lot of wonderful, damn near mind-blowing sensations and feelings. He definitely got what the fuss was all about and why Sam was so into kissing. It felt fucking amazing. 

 

Her hands soon left his face and she threaded the fingers of one hand through his dark strands, fisting and pulling at them, which turned Daryl on more than he thought it would. He released a little growl, which had Sam's insides quivering. It had been too long and Daryl truly was some kind of natural at this, or a quick learner or God knows what it was, but he was doing a really good job of riling her up quickly. The darkness made their other senses sharper, which only added to her arousal, because she was able to feel his weight and his warmth on her more intensely. His unique smell of cigarettes, leather and fresh air filled her nostrils, and her ears picked up on his harsher and more labored breathing.  _ He's killing me.  _ Sam thought, accompanied by an audible moan as she started shifting under him.

 

Their tongues massaged each other ardently and their kisses became deeper and wetter, more passionate. The temperature between them rose a couple of degrees and Sam had to fight to keep herself in check and not start letting her hands slip underneath his clothes. He was driving her wild. She was **really** into kissing, which made her arousal spike quickly, whenever she kissed someone she really liked,... and she really liked Daryl. Much more than that even. Her panties were ruined at this point, of that she was sure. She tried to stay as tame as possible, but Sam's free hand frantically rubbed along his body, wherever she was able to reach; his shoulder, his arm and back, and his side, not able to touch enough of him at once. Daryl had no idea how it had happened, but suddenly, he was fully situated between her legs. He wasn't complaining at all, though. He felt like he was very close to heaven right now. Not knowing where it was coming from, but deciding just to go with it, he let his fingers skim up her arms and interlocked them with hers, before they rested their linked hands above her head. His whole weight was on her, but instead of pushing him off, Sam wrapped her legs around his lean hips, making sure he wouldn't move away even an inch. It had Daryl shuddering once more when a wave of arousal shot through him. It was followed by a rush of lust and adrenalin, when he realized that Sam was handing over control of the kiss to him. She pulled back a little, letting him decide what he wanted to do. She was in his hands now, quite literally, all soft and pliant with his solid form on top, free to plunder her mouth and take what he wanted. At the same time she was clinging to him, giving him the feeling that she needed and wanted him. _Good Lord... feels so fucking good. She tastes so damn good. Gotta have some more of that._ And so he dove back in, slanting his lips over hers and plunging his tongue into her mouth, letting it swirl around hers in a tantalizing dance. He knew he was doing good when Sam moaned and squeezed her legs harder around him. It was doing wonders for his confidence.

 

Daryl hadn't fantasized in ages, but now little images and thoughts started popping up inside his head. One day, he wanted for the roles to be reversed. One day he wanted to be confident enough to be the man and take matters into his own hands, like, from start to finish, without her having to take the lead once. He wanted to be the one to know every right thing to say and every right thing to do. He wanted to know every little detail about her body and how she liked it to be touched. He wanted to be able to turn her on with just a single kiss. He wanted to be good enough at sex to give her orgasms and make her crave his touch... make her crave him. He needed her to, because he never wanted her to leave his life. She had already gotten in too deep for him to be able to let go of what they had created so far. She had gotten him high on her and Daryl never ever wanted to come down off it ever again. 

 

Daryl squeezed her hands possessively, to which Sam responded with an excited moan and a roll of her hips. She moaned yet again, when she felt the hint of a bulge in his pants. Daryl shuddered and tensed for a moment, which immediately sobered her up. She was taking it too far and she absolutely didn't want to scare him off. This felt way too good to have him run out of here right now. “Give me a moment...” she murmured against his lips. “Holy shit...”

 

She wasn't able to see it, but Daryl was frowning. He didn't understand why she was stopping and he thought that he'd done something wrong, right away, and he figured it had something to do with the tent he was starting to pitch inside his pants. “Shit. I'm sorry...”

 

“No! No, no, no... nothing to be sorry for. I just need to calm down for a moment, because holy crap, Daryl... You've been shitting me, right? You've definitely done this before.”

 

“Nah, never.” he blushed, but he was also smiling proudly again. Then he cleared his throat nervously. He'd felt it while they'd been doing it, but now that they weren't in the moment anymore, his confidence shrank a little. “So... we're... am I... it's okay?”

 

“Is it okay?” Sam repeated his question with an incredulous laugh. “Daryl, it's way more than okay. I don't have words... None that wouldn't scare you off.”

 

That statement had him curious. He hid his face in the crook of her neck and squeezed her hands while he whispered in her ear. “Say 'em...?”

 

It was more of a question, but Sam didn't really register it as anything else than a request. Because it was dark, she wasn't able to see his reddened cheeks or his insecure gaze. She only felt his grip on her tighten, felt his hot breath against her ear, and heard his low, raspy voice telling her to say what was on her mind. It was enough to soak her panties, if they hadn't been sopping wet before. It was her turn to blush, and she swallowed hard, while she thought about how to tell him what he wanted to hear. “I'm wet” seemed too vulgar for a first make-out-session, “I'm horny” sounded too desperate to her own ears, “I want you” might overwhelm him and put too many expectations on him. 

 

“You're having me excited... I mean... you're making me feel really good, Daryl.” she mumbled, suddenly tongue-tied. _Ugh, I sound like an imbecile._ It didn't come out the way she had wanted it, too. “I love this.” she said under her breath and gave his hands a squeeze. “I love having you on top of me like this. I love the way you kiss me, I really do. It's so incredibly good. You're driving me crazy. I can't get enough of you.” The words quickly rushed out of her, trying to convey to him, how good of a job he was doing, trying to chase his doubts and insecurities away. 

 

Daryl smiled as he snuggled his face deeper into her neck. He felt the exact same way about her. If he was able to make her feel like that about him, to him it meant, that he truly must be doing the whole making-out thing right. He didn't say anything, mostly because he had no idea what to say. Also, he was distracted by the heat he felt emanating from her skin. Her neck was so close and her scent made his mouth water. He slowly closed the gap and tentatively pressed his lips against her neck. 

 

Sam inhaled sharply. “Oh dear God.” she shuddered and tightened her grip on his hands while she fought the temptation to just give in to the lust she felt. “Daryl... baby,... You have no idea how much I love what you're doing right now, which is why you should stop, because this will seriously make me hump you like a bitch in heat.”

 

Daryl let out a little laugh. Sam might think she was scaring him off by saying things like that, but actually, it was good for him to hear her say it. It was good for his head and his shoddy self-esteem. It enabled him to let himself start to believe her where that stuff was concerned. 

 

“Yes, laugh at my peril, but know that it's all your fault.” She laughed and gently tapped the heel of her foot against his butt. “You're amazing.” she added with a quiet smile and a happy sigh. “But we should take a little breather. I need some water.”

 

“I need to take a piss.” Daryl said and loosened his grip on her, much to both their regret. He slowly moved off of her, but Sam stopped him briefly for another little kiss, before she stretched to reach the switch of the lamp closest to her.

 

“Mmm.” Daryl grunted and closed his eyes when the light came on. 

 

“Sorry.” She smiled and got up from the sofa and stretched. “What do you want to drink?”

 

“Water's fine.” he said while they both squinted as their eyes tried to adjust to the light. Daryl made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself and Sam went to get them their water. She gulped down half the bottle in one go. The cool liquid was refreshing and it was helping her cool down some. 

 

Daryl took a moment in the bathroom. He was over the moon, but he was also a bit confused. For someone who hadn't had any sexual urges in so long, and who wasn't a big fan of pleasuring himself, he'd been surprisingly ready to have sex with her just now. At least his head had been ready. He had thought about squeezing her breasts and letting his hand slide down to cup her between her legs. Inside his head, he had been ready to open both their jeans, to push them down to their ankles and to slide himself into her. She might not have been averse to that idea, either, but he knew that a quick fuck was not what she deserved, and it was also not what he wanted. Not really. He wasn't his brother. He didn't want to fuck Sam in the dark like some slutty barfly, but right now, he felt like that would have been all he would have been able to give. Which meant, that he wasn't ready to go all the way with her yet. He'd been turned on, just like her, it had kicked his head into gear, fantasy-wise, but in his heart he knew, that he wasn't there yet. It needed some more working up to it. Maybe next time they could try to leave on the light. He wanted to see her reaction to him. The only problem was, that she would see his reaction to her as well, and that was the part he was still jittery about. Being vulnerable in front of someone else. 

 

He splashed some water in his face before he went back to join her. He accepted the water bottle from her and drank down most of it in one go as well. “What's gonna happen with your boy? River?” he asked, deciding to move the topic away from their previous activities. Also, he was curious about the situation with her son.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He gonna stay with your folks forever?”

 

“Oh... no. I'm getting him back.”

 

“When?”

 

“Soon. Thought he'd already be here by now. I've been trying to convince my mother for a couple of months, but she's not convinced I'm ready yet.”

 

“Ain't exactly her decision, is it? It's yours.” he scoffed. 

 

“I don't know. Maybe.” Sam shrugged and played with the label of her bottle.

 

“What? You think she's right? You don't think you're ready yet?”

 

“I'm scared.” she finally admitted it out loud to someone. “Maybe that's why I'm not fighting her harder on this.”

 

“Scared? Of what? That ya relapse? You're doin' good. And Imma kick your ass if ya ever take another sip of that crap.” he said with a tiny smirk and nudged her with his elbow. 

 

“No, not of relapsing. I'm scared that I can't be his mother anymore. That I unlearned it somehow.” she sighed and fought off tears. “He's been gone for almost half his life, you know? As a mother, you usually grow naturally with your child. All these little changes, they happen gradually and naturally... He's so different now. When they took him, he was 11 months old. He wasn't able to walk yet. He was still a baby... And now he's running around and he's gotten so big and he can do so much more and I wasn't there to see it. I wasn't there to adjust to it... I know how to be a mother to a baby, but I have no idea how to be the mother of a toddler. I've never cooked for him, I don't know if he will like my food... I don't know if he even recognizes me as his mother anymore, or if my own mother took that place. I don't know if I'm doing him a favor taking him back. What if he misses them and suffers from it?”

 

Daryl wished he had answers for her, but he didn't. There was only one thing he knew for sure. “He should be with his momma. It's where he belongs. My mom... you know... I told ya how she was. Never stepped up for us. Didn't care much for us... Still, I had a hard time acceptin' she was just gone. That there wasn't even anythin' left to bury. No grave to go to to mourn. She wasn't a good mom, but she was my mom nonetheless and I missed her. Sure, he's like... what? 2 years old?”

 

“20 months.”

 

“Yeah, he's still little, he prolly don't really understand the difference between grandma and momma, but that don't change the fact that he should be with his mom. You turned shit around for him. You want him here... you should both get the chance to be together again. What did you say to me earlier? I shouldn't worry too much? That the rest would fall into place? I think it would be the same here. You're gon' manage.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“I know we haven't talked about **this**...” This time Sam was the one to wave her hand back and forth between the two of them. “Like, what we both want it to be in the future. If it will be just a casual dating thing or something more serious... It's still very early, but...”

 

“Ya really think I'm into casual dating?” Daryl had to laugh at that.

 

“Oh... umm... no, I guess not. I just didn't want to make any assumptions.”

 

“What do you want?” he asked her, before she would be able to ask him.

 

“I'm not into casual dating, either.” she laughed. “I don't know why I even mentioned it. What I meant was, we don't know if this will work out in the long run. You never know until you do... There are no guarantees... Ugh, I'm not saying it right... I wanna be with you, Daryl. I really do. But I guess I need you to start thinking about what you want. About how things will change when I get River back, and if you'd be able to live with those changes. On some days there might not be any alone time at all. And he's gonna be around day and night on the weekends. Sure, I'll get a sitter every once in a while, but most of the time, I'll be spending time with him in parks and zoos and stuff like that. I'd be ecstatic if you'd be a part of that, but whether or not you want that, that's a decision only you can make.”

 

“Don't sound so bad to me. We can take him camping, too.” Daryl mused out loud. “Things are gonna change in two weeks anyway, when I start my job. Won't be home all day. Won't be seein' each other when you work the late shift. Only an hour or so. Look,... it's like ya said. There ain't no guarantees. All we can do is try to make it work. If it don't work, then it don't, but at least we tried. That's what we do, right? We try. Ain't gonna bail when your boy comes back. I can promise ya that.”

 

_ I knew there was a reason why I fell in love with you.  _ Sam put her bottle on the table and scooted over to him. She climbed on his lap and kissed him lovingly. “Thank you. You are unbelievable. And if you ever say that you're not a good person again,  **I** 'm going to kick  **your** ass.”

 

A grin broke out on his face at that. “Don't tempt me, 'cause I'd really like ta see you try.”

 

“I should warn you, I fight dirty.” she grinned. “Hm, but on the other hand, maybe I should tempt you... wouldn't mind you wrangling me around a bit, I guess.”

 

Daryl groaned and chuckled a little at the same time. “Yeah. You do fight dirty.”

 

“Told you so.” she said, before she ended the conversation by kissing him again.

* * *

“Hey there, baby brother. Where you been all night? Drinking your sorrows away?” Merle hadn't expected Daryl to stay gone all night long. He'd thought he'd come home with a six pack of beer, two bottles of Jack Daniels and would drink that stripper out of his mind for the rest of the night.

 

“Shut up, Merle.” Daryl spat with a vicious glare on his face. “You stay the fuck away from Sam, ya hear me? Ya threaten her again and I'll stomp ya into the ground. Brother or not.”

 

For a split-second, Merle was surprised. It took a moment to catch himself again. “Aaaahhh, I see you talked to your little girlfriend, huh? Don't seem like she told ya the whole story. What kinda bullshit sob story did she try to sell ya? Awww, poor little slut got threatened by big, bad Merle. She sure knows how to turn on the waterworks on cue. I'm sure she gave ya a good performance, too.”

 

Daryl's nostrils flared when he heard that Merle had made her cry. Sam hadn't told him about that. His anger grew and he shoved Merle hard, so his older brother banged his back against the wall. “She didn't have to tell me anything. I knew. I knew for weeks, Merle.”

 

Once again, Merle was speechless for a moment. “Oh you knew, yeah? You also know what she did at that club? How she was on my lap buck naked, rubbing her shaved little pussy all up against my dick? How she made herself cum, creamin' all over my pants before she gave me my happy ending?”

 

“She did no such thing.” Daryl was seething, his fists were clenching and itching to punch Merle's brains out. “That ain't even allowed at that club.”

 

“Yeah, like those club stick to the rules if breaking them gets them more money. Get over it, Daryl. She ain't nothin' but a greedy little slut. You're better off without her.”

 

“Maybe I'm better off without you.”

 

Merle laughed at that. “Really? You're gonna believe some whore over me? Your own blood?”

 

“She never lied to me. You on the other hand, you do nothing but lie and get me into bad shit.”

 

“She only wants your money.”

 

“I don't have fucking money, Merle. What the fuck is your problem with her?”

 

“Just funny timing, is all.”

 

“There is no funny timing, Merle. I've been thinking about a job for a while, alright?”

 

“Yeah, right. Why would ya? We got a nice and cushy life with the money from the insurance scams. Why would ya want to get your hands dirty?”

 

“'Cause I want more.” Daryl admitted.

 

“Exactly. Making my point for me, little brother. You never wanted more until she came along.”

 

“That's where you're wrong. But why the fuck am I even telling you? You don't care. You never did.”

 

“All I do is care.”

 

“Right. You have a funny way of showing it.”

 

“So you're really gonna stick it into some dirty stripper slut, yeah? Not that that's a bad thing. Would be alright for a quick fuck, but shacking up and playing house with the girl? Nah, that's just you being an idiot, Daryl. She don't want you. She wants your future paycheck.”

 

“Fuck off. Don't matter to me what you have to say about her. Ain't gonna change nothin'. Just stay away from her. Or we're gonna have ourselves a problem.”

 

“Yeah, yeah... If you wanna be some lovestruck fool, be my guest. Just don't come crying to me when she took off with all ya had, baby brother.”

 

“Asshole.” Daryl shook his head before he headed for the bathroom, so he could take a shower.

 

“Aww, I'm hurt... Hey, at least ya found your balls!” Merle laughed, but on the inside he wasn't laughing at all. Seemed like his little brother was finally starting to grow up. He wasn't sure if he liked that if it meant that Daryl was going to shack up with the stripper. The girl would have to prove herself to him, before he would trust her, but he doubted that day would ever come. Daryl was blinded by being in love for the first time. His judgment was impaired or else he'd know that she was just using him. Merle thought that Daryl was gonna be left a dumb fool, but if he refused to listen to his older brother, then he would simply have to live with the consequences. Some people had to learn the hard way and he was sure that Daryl would have that coming by trusting Sam. 

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

 

**Hope you liked them getting a bit closer:-) Merle is on the fence, but I guess that's not a big surprise.**

**Let me know how you liked it. I love reading your opinions.**

**Special thanks to the lovely people who take the time to leave me comments and kudos.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

The lights stayed on the next night and the nights after that in the form of dim candlelight. The blushing and the awkwardness got less, like Sam had promised him. He was starting to “man up”. He started to understand that she desired him... accepted him. The next three weeks were filled with new experiences. Hands started roaming, tentative at first, then with more purpose. Buttons got opened, hoodies got unzipped, tops got pushed up over naked breasts. His first pair of boobs. Full, warm, soft and magnificent. She had to pull his hands up there at first, but after a couple of times, he was drawn to them so much that his hands dared to go there on his own. Thumbs rubbed over nipples, making them tighten and perk up. Lust-filled tremors delighted him, made him tweak the rosy pebbles gently, then a little harder, experimenting what sounds he was able to draw out of her. Breath, that got stuck in his throat when she parted his shirt for the first time. Releasing a shuddering breath when her hands smoothed over his bare chest, scratching her nails gently through his patch of chest hair. Warm hands, that ran over his back, making him stiffen for a moment. No reaction to his scars, only kisses that distracted him and let the tension drain from his shoulders. Sweet and full lips that explored his skin in places that had never been touched by another person. Learning to lay back and enjoy it. Experiencing the satiny feel of her skin against his own. Tasting it. Feeling the puckered texture of her nipples against his tongue. Filling his hands with the firm globes of her ass, squeezing and pulling her closer. Unbuckling belts and pushing down pants. Moving from the sofa to the bedroom. Pressing their underwear-clad bodies together. Feeling breasts squished up against his own bare chest. Laying with her, just kissing and letting hands glide over every bit of exposed skin. Learning each others bodies. Finding spots that were ticklish. Finding spots that made them gasp and squirm. Despite wanting to take it slow, they had lost most of their clothes quickly, but that didn't mean they were rushing things. On the contrary. They've been staying on this plateau for almost the whole three weeks. Getting comfortable with each other. Getting **him** comfortable being with her like this, being naked except for a tiny pair of panties and his boxer briefs. Letting it become second nature until he didn't blush anymore, but was able to relax, enjoy it, smile and laugh with her. His fear of intimacy used to trump his desire to be with a woman. Now the scales had started to tip and his desire for Sam was trumping (not to say utterly destroying) his fear of being intimate with her. He was making a lot of progress, he became a bit more relaxed in general and he started to feel that he wanted more. 

* * *

He watched them from the shadows, standing in the doorway after he'd taken a shower at her place. The Jetta had acted up again and he'd changed the oil, making a mess of himself in the process. Sam had asked him, if he wanted to stay with her for the Skype session with his son and her mother, but he had declined. He was being sneaky and eavesdropping, which Sam might not appreciate, but he wanted to watch first and make up his own mind about the whole situation.

 

The kid was cute. River definitely looked a lot like Sam, with his dark hair and big blue eyes. Daryl didn't know much about kids, but for an almost 2 year old toddler, the kid seemed pretty quiet. He was smiling and waving, but other than that, he didn't interact a lot with either Sam or his grandmother. He was definitely no expert, but it struck him as odd.

 

One thing was for sure, though... Daryl strongly disliked Sam's mother Liz already. She seemed arrogant and self-righteous, and the way she talked down to Sam made him bristle with anger. She was coming up with excuse after excuse why Sam wasn't able to get her son back. He was teething again and not sleeping well. He's also growing and upsetting him by uprooting his whole life again during this phase might traumatize him. Even he knew that it was bullshit. The woman didn't want to let her grandson go, that much was clear to him. Sam probably wasn't quite seeing it, because of her own fears.

 

“What do you mean you have to go?” Sam exclaimed incredulously when her mother wanted to end the video chat. “You just came on.”

 

“Well, I have other things to do than to sit around and chat, Samina.” The sandy-haired woman with beady little brown eyes explained haughtily.

 

_Stupid bitch. Already looks like a conniving, back stabbing cunt._ Daryl usually refrained from calling women names, even if he was just thinking it, but Liz was rubbing him the entirely wrong way. 

 

“I'm sure you have five more minutes, Mom. I already didn't get to see him for Christmas or New Year's, even though you said you would come here.”

 

“He had tonsillitis, Sam. What were we supposed to do? Travel with him for hours while he had a fever and was in pain, just so you would be able to see him? Surely I didn't raise you to be that selfish.”

 

_She ain't the one who's selfish here._ Daryl crossed his arms and scowled at the screen from where he stood. He had a mind to march up there and give that woman a piece of his mind, but he was only dressed in a towel, and it also wouldn't help Sam. 

 

“Please, Mom? Just a couple more minutes.”

 

“I have to go. Call again tomorrow if you have to. Bye.”

 

The screen went dark and Daryl huffed audibly. Sam jumped and looked behind her, and only then did Daryl notice that she was crying.

 

“Shit, Sammy...” he wasn't sure what to say. He had never really consoled anyone but his mother, and that had been a lifetime ago. He looked down at himself, once again realizing he was only wearing a towel, but he'd feel stupid letting her sit there and cry while he put on some boxers, because it would feel more appropriate to hug her wearing those. He entered the room and sat down next to her, pulling his crying girlfriend into his arms. It wasn't an easy thing to do. Sam was resting her elbows on her knees and was hiding her face behind her hands now, while sobs shook her small frame. All he could do was put his arm around her and tug her against his side. “She's a bitch...” he grumbled, but he knew that he wasn't really crying because her mother was a selfish bitch. She was crying, because she missed her boy and barely got to see him. _What kind of jerk says no to their crying daughter just 'cause she wants to see her son for a couple more minutes?_

 

“Guess you met my mother... kind of.” Sam sniffed after a couple of minutes, when she had cried it out of her system.

 

“Gonna meet her for real in a couple of days.”

 

Sam frowned at that. “What? What do you mean?”

 

“No more excuses. I'm taking you there next weekend. Don't tell 'em. Gonna hit 'em unprepared. You're gonna spend the weekend with your boy, and if it works out and goes well, she ain't got no reason to keep him any longer.”

 

“Really? You're serious?” Sam's heart started beating faster than ever. It was a mix of being hopeful and excited, and being utterly in love with this man.

 

“Hell yeah. I mean, I don't think we should rip him outta there and take him back right away. Prolly better if everybody gets a week or two to prepare and shit, but if ya show her that ya can take care of him and that he's in good hands again with ya, then your mother can't say anything and keep him for another couple of months.”

 

“Daryl Dixon, where have you been all my life?”

 

“Right here. Ain't my fault that it took your ass thirty years to get here.” he smirked, relieved that he was succeeding in making her mood lighten up again.

 

“Yeah, yeah, smartass...” she wiped her face dry with her hands before her gaze dropped to his lap. “Nice outfit.”

 

“Sorry. Gonna go get dressed.”

 

“It wasn't a complaint.” Sam smiled and quickly kissed him in order to keep him from getting up. “Stay the night?”

 

“Dunno. It's my first day tomorrow.” Daryl sighed as nervousness bubbled up inside of him. He'd been supposed to start a week ago, but they had postponed his first day, because of some internal organizational bullshit. It was nerve-wracking, because he was so eager to get the show on the road, so to speak. He already had a bike picked out and he was thinking about getting a nicer trailer for him and Merle. Maybe an apartment, but then again, they weren't really the types to bump into neighbors in the hall when they took out the trash.

 

“I know it's your first day.” she didn't understand what that had to do with anything. “If you stay, you'll get a little surprise tomorrow.” she coaxed with a smile.

 

“Don't like surprises.”

 

“It's nothing major. Actually, I can do it another time. Doesn't have to be tomorrow if you don't feel like staying. Your clothes are gonna be in the washer and then in the dryer for a while, though.”

 

“Wasn't planning on leaving right away.” he sounded pretty gruff and if she wouldn't know him as well as she did, she would think he was annoyed with her. But Sam knew that she wasn't the problem.

 

“Nervous about tomorrow, hm?” she asked gently while she pushed some hair out of his face. Daryl just shrugged, not wanting to admit that he was. “I felt like I was going to throw up in the back alley of the diner my first day. And don't get me started on the first night at the club. Well, you know... was only able to get through that with alcohol in my system. Not recommendable for a driver, however.” Sam grinned when he huffed.

 

“How about getting drunk now?” Daryl sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “Hate feeling like this.”

 

“No, don't get drunk. I can be around alcohol, but I'm not sure if it would be okay to kiss you when you've had it. Having you taste like it... That's a slippery slope right there.”

“Right.”

 

“Besides... there might be other ways to distract and relax you...”

 

“Ha... we in a porno now?” Daryl smirked at the obvious double-meaning of her words.

 

“You are no fun today.” Sam pouted jokingly. She kissed him and got up from the couch. “Oh well, If you wanna be like that, then I'll just go back and finish what I was doing when you came over earlier.”

 

Daryl furrowed his brow in an amused frown. “You were in the shower. Ya tellin' me ya didn't finish your shower?”

 

Sam smirked. “Don't really need a shower to finish what I started in there. Just need my bed... and my hands.”

 

Daryl was still frowning, not getting what in the hell she was talking about... until it hit him like a ton of bricks, and his eyes widened. “You... were...?”

 

“Yep.” Sam stepped in front of him, letting her hands glide over his bare shoulders to feel him up a little and get herself in the mood. “I was... Now, if you were interested, you could come with me and,... I don't know... watch me... or even help me out a little, if you'd feel up for it...” she couldn't help but grin when she saw him swallowing hard at her words. She gently let her fingernails run along his shoulder blades and up to the back of his neck, where she buried her fingers in his hair and pulled his head back, so she could lean down and give him a hot, little kiss. “Oooorrr,... you stay here, watch some TV, wait for the washer to be done with your clothes, watch some more TV...”

 

“Fuck TV.” he huffed and quickly got up from the couch. He stroked his hands over her back, down to her thighs, wanting to lift her up in order to carry her to the bedroom, but he paused and looked at her while nibbling his lip. His expression looked like he wasn't sure what to do, all of a sudden. “You're serious?”

 

Sam nodded. “Yeah, but no pressure. If it's too much, too soon, I unders-”

 

“Ain't too much... or too soon.” he interrupted her, before she would be able to change her mind and rescind that offer. He pressed his lips against hers while he wrapped her up in his arms. Then, he let his mouth travel to her ear, and she caught the faintest whisper coming from him. “Wanna see ya.”

 

Sam smiled and hugged him tightly. It was a big thing when Daryl actually opened his mouth and used his words to express what he wanted or needed. She was crazy proud and happy whenever he did that. “Gonna come to the bedroom with me, then?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Come on, let's g-... oh, phone. Of course.” Sam laughed quietly. “Go ahead, I'll be right with you.”

 

Daryl nodded and went into Sam's bedroom, while his girlfriend went to answer the phone. He was nervous and didn't know what to do with himself. Should he sit on the bed and wait for her? Or should he get a chair and put that in front of the bed, so he could watch her? He had no idea, but for now he decided to get rid of the stupid towel and put on his boxers, because he started to feel silly walking around with that thing around his hips. Sam joined him not even a minute later. She was biting her lip and stifling a groan when she came in and looked at his half-naked form. The sight simply never got old for her. He was absolutely gorgeous. She didn't waste any time in getting her hands on him, and stroked them over his belly and up to his chest.

 

“Who was it?” Daryl asked while his own hands went to her hips, feeling around for the hem of her top.

 

“Patty. She needs me to work a double tomorrow.”

 

“Guess we'll both be busy all day tomorrow, huh?”

 

“Looks like. But I'm more interested in getting busy right now.” she smiled and went up on her toes to kiss him. Their tongues dueled with increasing intensity, while Sam fisted his hair in her hands, and while Daryl pulled up her top to get her undressed. Within a minute she was down to just her panties as well, but this time, they didn't stop there. They were still kissing when Daryl rested his hands back on her hips, not knowing how to proceed now, since things would be a bit different today. A rush of nervous excitement went through him again, when he thought about Sam touching herself in front of him. He was sure it would damn near make his dick burst... or kill him... or both. He actually jumped just a little bit, when Sam put her hands on top of his and guided them to her panties. “Take them off?” she murmured against his lips. She had a little thing about getting undressed these days. She had no problem doing it herself, but she preferred it when Daryl did it for her. Taking her clothes of with him watching still sent her back to the club here and there. She was able to shake it off quickly, but she liked avoiding it altogether and have Daryl undress her instead.

 

Daryl nodded and fumbled around with the waistband of her underwear for a second, before he managed to hook his thumbs in there, and slowly started pushing it down her legs. They fell to her knees and Sam wriggled and stepped out of them. Daryl was back to being a bit awkward, simply because he didn't know what exactly was expected of him now. Sam sensed his insecurity, when once more, he didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. “Relax.” she smiled and nuzzled his cheek after she had pulled him on top of her on the bed. “You can help warm me up a bit first... the usual way.”

 

“Alright.” Daryl nodded with a little smile. He was grateful for that bit of info, because it did enable him to relax again. The usual stuff he was familiar with. No trouble there. Quite the opposite. He knew exactly where to suck and bite on her neck to get her to buck her hips up against his.

 

“Ssssshhhhiiit...” Sam moaned, when she felt his teeth gently dig into her skin. That little bite at the base of her throat never failed to make her shiver. It was followed by a hiss when his hands found their way to her full breasts and squeezed them possessively. Sam rubbed her hands all over his shoulders and arms, moaning when she felt his smooth, warm skin and the strong, toned muscles that were working just underneath. “Mmmmm... I've been craving you all day, baby.”

 

A little grunt was all she got as acknowledgment that he'd heard her. Daryl had made great progress, but he wasn't very vocal in bed. Not yet, anyway, but then again, they were still only getting started with the whole sex thing. Sam knew from experience that it takes a while to get there for everybody, not just for Daryl. Also, his mouth was too busy to respond as he was making his way down her chest, to meet up with his hands. Sam grinned a little, each time he used his mouth on her breasts, because his “mouth work” on her body was very similar to the way he ate his meals: greedy, hurriedly and a bit sloppy. _But in an oh so good way,_ Sam thought when he closed his lips around her nipple and sucked and pulled at the hardened peak until it plopped out of his mouth with a loud, wet, smacking sound, that satisfied Daryl through and through. He might still be a bit sloppy in his ministrations, but by now, after those couple of weeks of practice, there was definitely a kind of finesse to it, which had Sam squirming in no time at all. “Use your teeth, baby... yessss! Just like that.” she was wracked by pleasurable shudders, when she felt him scrape his teeth across her sensitive flesh. _God, I'm so ready to cum._ And she really was. She'd had a good thing going when Daryl had shown up, earlier than expected, and had unknowingly interrupted her. “You wanna stay up here or do you want to be closer to the action and scoot down?” she asked under her breath while Daryl was lavishing attention on her other breast. 

 

Daryl took a moment to think about it and absently placed little kisses all over her boob.  _Might be better if I can see what parts she touches to get herself off._ The thought of being up-close and personal with her pussy was still a little intimidating, but he wanted this. He craved her, too. He was ready for this. He didn't know what it was, but something inside of him made him feel the urge to not only see her, but smell her and taste her, too. It wasn't just an urge, it also felt like a need. In the past couple of weeks, he'd started masturbating regularly again, because their encounters always left him riled up and unable to go to sleep unless he'd had his release. Just a couple of days ago, when he had stood in the shower in his trailer, stroking himself, the image of him trailing his nose along Sam's pussy and inhaling deeply, had sent him over the edge surprisingly quick, and since then, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. Today might be the day he'd get to do it, if he wouldn't chicken out. But he doubted that he would. He was ready. “Gonna be down there.” he told her, and he was surprised how strong his voice sounded to himself. 

 

Sam nodded, having expected that answer, but she still started to get nervous. She was putting herself in a very intimate and vulnerable position, and even though she trusted him with all she had, it was nerve-wracking all the same. Part of her was screaming at her, telling her that she was bat-shit crazy for even offering that he could watch her, but another part of her knew, that it might be good for him and their future sex life to watch her make herself cum.

 

Daryl started to slide down, in order to position himself between her legs, but he stopped when he heard her long and deep exhale. He looked up at her face and noticed that, for a change,  **her** face was beet red. “We ain't gotta do it, Sammy.”

 

“No, I wanna do it. It's just a little weird. I've never done this before. Not in front of someone else.” She let out an embarrassed laugh. “I'm nervous, that's all.” She inhaled deeply once more, before she parted her legs, so that Daryl would be able to get situated in between them.

 

He tried not to stare, but his eyes were immediately drawn to her most intimate parts. A lust-filled shudder rocked him when he took her in for the first time. She was beautiful and he couldn't wait to get to play with her... but first, he would pay good attention to how she liked to get played with. He was about to get comfortable until he realized that he had no idea how to do that right now. Laying on his stomach and holding his head up seemed uncomfortable. Sitting or kneeling between her legs would have his eyes too far away from the action. He looked around with a frown until he came up with a solution to that little problem. “Imma kneel on the floor. Can ya slide over to the edge of the bed?”

 

“Yeah. Good idea.” she smiled with her cheeks still a little red.

 

Daryl got up and knelt on the carpet at the side of her bed. Before Sam had the chance to move, he grabbed her by the back of her knees and yanked her to the edge with a quick tug. Sam squealed in surprise and excitement, her laughter filling the room.

 

“Oh my God. Have I told you how insanely hot it is, every time you yank me around like it's nothing?”

 

“Every time.” he smirked with a wink, which made her melt even more. She loved when he got playful.

 

Daryl tugged her even closer until her butt was resting right at the edge and he had the best view. Instinctively he lifted Sam's legs and put them over his wide shoulders to rest there, while she was busy showing him what she liked. “I like this...” he muttered to himself as he turned his head and pressed his lips against the inside of her knee, while his hands traveled up and down along the outside of her thighs.

 

“Shit...” Sam breathed aroused when she took in the view of his dark head between her legs and her long limbs resting over his amazing shoulders. “So do I.” She reached out and let her fingers thread through his hair for a moment. “Hey... if you wanna touch... you can... alright?”

 

“Alright... You first.” he smirked lightly and nuzzled the inside of her thigh. 

 

“You really are loving this, aren't you?” Sam laughed quietly.

 

“That bad?”

 

“Not at all. It's great.” It was the last thing she said before she closed her eyes and tried to relax by focusing on his ministrations. His hands were still caressing her thighs, while he pressed little kisses against the inside of the right one, letting her feel his soft lips and the slight scratch of his facial hair. Daryl watched anxiously as her left hand cupped her breast and squeezed it the way he always did. His interest was quickly drawn to her right hand, though, because that one was slipping down her belly now. The moment her fingertips touched the small patch of dark hair at the top of her slit, Daryl's hands stopped rubbing her legs. He gripped them tightly in anticipation instead. 

 

Sam slowly rubbed her fingers along her outer lips; down, then back up, down and then back up again, before she massaged herself with circular motions right at the upper portion of her slit, indirectly stimulating her clit, and working herself up a little more. She was still nervous and a bit embarrassed, but she tried to drown it out and focus all her attention on the sensations she was creating with a little help from Daryl thrown into the mix. She felt his warm skin and his hot breath against her thigh, as well as the strong grip of his hands. She squeezed her breast again, imagining that it was Daryl who was doing it with those gorgeous hands of his. 

 

Daryl knew that he had never been as aroused as he was in this moment. His dick was as hard as a rock. The powerful throbbing in his loins gave that fact away without him having to look at it or touch it. Utterly transfixed and fascinated, his gaze followed her hand's every move. His mouth watered when she used two fingers to spread herself a little and thereby revealed her pink and glistening folds. Daryl unconsciously licked his lips, when for the first time, he noticed the shine of moisture all around her opening. An involuntary little sound escaped him, when Sam slowly pushed her middle finger into her wet pussy, up to the second knuckle. She immediately added a second finger, having Daryl damn near panting as he got ready to watch her finger fuck herself. He was surprised, however, when she withdrew her fingers seconds later and traced them back up her slit. Without realizing he was doing it, Daryl leaned closer to get an even better look. He finally saw what Merle had called “the nubbin'” whenever he had tried to impart parts of his (self-proclaimed) impressive sexual knowledge to Daryl. Merle always called it “rubbin' the nubbin” whenever he talked about girls rubbing one out, and now Daryl understood why. That was exactly what Sam was doing. She was using the pads of her two wet fingers to rub that little thing, back and forth, and round and round, and obviously, it felt damn good for her. 

 

“Oooh... fffuck...” Sam moaned under her breath, when her fingers found the perfect rhythm as they rubbed back and forth over her swollen clit.

 

Her moan made Daryl jerk like he'd been hit by a gunshot. The sound went straight to his dick and balls, making the throbbing that much worse. He wasn't able to stop feasting his eyes on her flushed complexion or her chest that heaved with her pants and harsh breathing or her stomach that contracted and clenched from the pleasure she was giving herself. His gaze dropped lower again when her fingers moved back to her opening, but once again, she just dipped them inside for a second, before going back to rubbing her little, engorged pearl, which was now proudly and fully protruding from beneath its protective hood.

 

Sam started jerking a little with every other stroke. When she also pulled her legs up and pushed her feet against his strong shoulders, Daryl figured that she was close and that he would be about to see her coming undone very soon. With her legs spread even further apart now, his eyes traveled to her opening again. She was wetter than before, he was able to see it clearly. But he didn't just want to see it... he wanted to feel it for himself. He brought his right hand between her legs and slowly traced her opening with the tip of his index finger, another shudder wracking him when he felt her liquid arousal against his own skin.

 

“Yes!” Sam moaned and pushed down against his finger, making Daryl's eyes snap up to her face.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yes... put it in. Please. I need you, baby.”

 

Daryl had never heard a sexier sound than Sam's breathy voice when she was in the throes of pleasure. His erect length gave a big jump, when Sam's begging made his arousal skyrocket even more. He was sure that by now, the material of his boxers was as wet as Sam's pussy, because his own cock was dripping from pleasure. He reached down with his other hand, adjusting and squeezing himself, giving himself at least a tiny bit of relief. Then, he slowly pushed his index finger into her, which made his cock jump even more. _Good fucking Lord..._ Daryl felt like his head was exploding. She was so hot and wet and she was gripping his finger. 

 

“One more!” Sam pressed out between harsh breaths.

 

“You sure?” Daryl was eager to do it, but he didn't want to hurt her. It seemed like a tight fit with just one finger already.

 

“Please! Yes! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...” she moaned mindlessly. The whole experience was intense, even more so now that Daryl was an active participant, and she was going out of her mind from the pleasure of it all. Daryl eased his middle finger into her as well and got rewarded with a loud, drawn out moan when she felt his thick digits stretching her. “Oooohh... so good, baby, yes! Now crook them and do this.” she panted and used the fore and middle finger of her free hand to make a come hither motion and show him what she wanted. 

 

Daryl, ever the eager student, quickly mimicked her and pushed his fingertips up against her front wall. “What now?”

 

“Keep doing that... pull them back a little bit... little more... liiitt- aaaaahhhhh fuuuuuck yes! Right there, baby, right there. Keep them there and keep going. Almost there.”

 

Daryl felt a slightly rougher texture underneath his fingertips now and he took note of the location, before he focused his attention back on Sam. She was rubbing herself furiously now, still in the same spot, while she stemmed her feet against his shoulders, like she was trying to push him away. But Daryl didn't budge, letting her push, while she squirmed and undulated and started panting faster and faster. He quickly reached up and grabbed her unattended breast with his free hand, gently tweaking her nipple between his fingers, and the next thing he knew, Sam let out a little shout before she held her breath, and then he felt it... her pussy contracted rhythmically around his fingers as her hips stuttered and jerked. Sam made small sounds in the back of her throat as her breathing came out in shudder-y, little rushes. Daryl had noticed that Sam had stopped moving her fingers as soon as her orgasm had started. Instead of rubbing, she was pressing them down hard against her clit while she rode out her climax. Daryl kept stroking her from the inside, until she reached down and grasped his wrist, wordlessly telling him to stop.

 

Daryl withdrew his fingers, but he wasn't done with her yet. He wouldn't chicken out. He would do what he'd been wanting to do for days. He took hold of Sam's wrist now, reaching for the other one, too, and pinned them to the bed left and right of her hips. He stared at her pussy, once more licking his lips, before he leaned his head down even further and licking a long, broad line right from her opening up to her little nub, tasting the rich, tangy flavor of her arousal.

 

“Daryl!” Sam jumped when his tongue met her over-sensitized clit, and in the back of her head she thought how smart Daryl was, to keep her hands restrained, because she would have pushed him away out of reflex otherwise.

 

Daryl was too caught up in his own world to acknowledge her reaction. The taste was unique and unlike anything he'd ever had, but in its own way, it was absolutely divine. Next, he nuzzled her, filling his nostrils with the musky, enticing scent of her, before he pressed his nose into her pubic hair and let his mouth rest against her slit, spending some time just breathing her in, until he was no longer able to ignore the painful pulsing that was torturing his privates. 

 

He released her and yanked her back to the middle of the bed while he crawled back on it, too. He pressed himself flush against her while kissing her wildly, barely giving her the chance to catch her breath. “Sammy...” he groaned helplessly against her lips. “Shit, Sammy...”

 

“You need to cum, too, don't you, baby?” A little grunt was the answer he gave. “Want me to help?”

 

Instead of using words, Daryl shifted a little until he was able to guide her hand between them, indicating that he indeed wanted her help. He kept kissing her, not letting her look between them when she pulled at his underwear and his heavy cock bobbed up against both their bellies. Sam moaned into his mouth when she wrapped her hand around him and felt him being all slick from his own arousal. Daryl grunted and moved his hips, pushing himself into her hand with desperation. Sam gripped him tighter and worked with him, trying to get a feel for what he needed, but she never got the chance. She had barely pumped her hand up and down his swollen length a couple of times, when she felt him stiffen, right before little warm, wet splashes hit her belly and hip, while Daryl released a shuddering breath. He hid his face in the crook of her neck, not out of embarrassment, but more out of seeking warmth and comfort from her body after the intense experience. “Jesus Christ, Sammy...” he moaned quietly against her neck as his body went limp on top of hers. 

 

“Don't I know it...” she laughed lightly, still out of breath herself. She wiped her cum-stained hand on the sheets before she wrapped her arms around him, cradling him against her a little while they basked in the afterglow of their activities. She played with his hair, making them both sleepy and drift off into slumber. Both of them were more relaxed than they had been in years and they were utterly and satisfyingly spent. They didn't even manage to pull the blanket up to cover themselves, but that was alright. For now their shared body heat kept them warm and comfortable while they took a little nap to recharge their batteries. 

* * *

** Thank you for reading! **

 

** Sorry for the wait. Busy times. That's why there are no personal thank you's this week. Please forgive me. Thank you so much everybody for the love and support and kind words. Your comments are amazing and make me smile during this stupid and worrisome time.  **

 

** So... some smutty goodness... thoughts? **

 

** Love to all of you. Thank you everyone. **


	13. Chapter 13

Daryl was about to let the door slam shut behind him, until he saw Sam curled up on the couch with her eyes closed. He quickly turned and caught the door with his hand before it would shut with a bang and wake up Sam. They had been on the phone 10 minutes ago, when he had called to ask if he could come over. The double she had worked today seemed to have taken more of a toll on her, than she'd thought, if she had fallen asleep this quickly. He locked the door and went over to the couch, carefully lifting her into his arms bridal style.

 

“Daryl? Oh God, sorry...” Sam woke up when he moved her. “I didn't even realize I was falling asleep.”

 

“It's alright.” Daryl told her on his way to the bedroom. “Just do me a favor.”

 

“Okay. What?”

 

“Lock the door from now on. During the day and especially at night when ya think ya might fall asleep. I ain't around during the day no more. Can't just come racin' when shit happens.”

 

“I didn't even know I was falling asleep just now.”

 

“You said that... Do it, alright? Makes me feel better when I'm gone. The world's a bad place, Sammy.” he placed her on the bed and wasted no time getting on top of her, knowing that she loved having his weight on her.

 

“I get the feeling that you didn't have a good first day.” she said under her breath while she wrapped her legs around him and stroked his back up and down slowly.

 

“It was alright. Was just training... lotta talking, ya know? Gon' get better when I'm on my own, I reckon. You're fucking crazy though, ya know that?”

 

“What? What did I do now?”

 

“That lunch ya packed me? Could've fed the whole army with that.” he admonished her, but he was smiling proudly. The eyes of the guy, who was training him, had damn near popped out of his head when Daryl had unpacked all the food Sammy had made for him. Sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, a small bag of Oreos, a small bag of potato chips, some grapes, her homemade banana bread and a tiny tupperware box with nutella and a plastic knife, so he would be able to spread the nutella on the banana bread, and a banana with the message “Miss you already. Have fun.” written on the peel with a pen.

 

“It wasn't **that** much.” she laughed, happy that he seemed to have liked her little surprise. “I just wanted you to be taken care of while you were gone.”

 

That warmed his heart. Actually, it made his skin tingle and prickle all over in a good way. They never talked about feelings, not once, but he felt like they didn't have to. Ever since he had started believing that Sam genuinely wanted him in her life, he had also let himself feel how much she cared for him. She showed him every day. It was in everything she did for him, even in little things, like telling him to drive safely. He was doing his best to give back as much as he could. He hoped that it was enough and that she felt it, too. He leaned down and kissed her softly and lovingly, silently thanking her with his lips.

 

“So, it wasn't good at all today?” she asked with a concerned frown marring her features when Daryl had withdrawn his lips from hers.

 

“It was alright. The guy's decent. Learned a lot already, but like I said, I can't wait to be on my own.”

 

“Just four more days with the guy. You can do it.”

 

“It's weird, though. Bein' gone all day...” he wanted to tell her that he'd missed seeing her during the day, but the words didn't come out. “Ya know... what ya wrote on the banana? Was the same for me...”

 

Sam smiled happily, understanding what he meant. “It was weird for me, too. I figure it will take some getting used to, but hey... distance makes the heart grow fonder. Missing each other during the day is good. Makes it even better when we get together at night.”

 

“Right.” he agreed with a slight nod. “But you're tired... should let ya get back to sleep.” Daryl was a little disappointed that they wouldn't get to spend more than these couple of minutes together, but he knew that they both needed their sleep. She had worked a double today and he had to get up at 4.30 am.

 

“You don't wanna stay?”

 

“Nah...” he hesitated for a moment, before he forced the next words out of his mouth. “Too hard... havin' to get up with you next to me, still asleep... leave the house, go to work, instead of staying in bed with ya...”

 

“It sucks, I know.” Sam said while a big yawn escaped her. She was exhausted and already had to fight to stay awake in order to carry on the conversation with him. “Tomorrow should be better. I'm working the morning shift. I can have dinner ready for you if you'd like.”

 

“Sounds good. But you don't have to.”

 

“I know that I don't have to, but you know I like pampering you. I can make those pork chops with green beans and potatoes you liked.” she muttered sleepily while her eyes started drooping again.

 

“Okay.” Daryl agreed to the dinner plans. He wasn't crazy enough to pass up her cooking. “Imma go now. You get some sleep, Sammy.” He kissed her lips softly, then her forehead. He was sure she was already asleep by the time he got off of her and the bed. He sighed with disappointment when he looked at her for another moment. Leaving her now wasn't much better than leaving her in the morning, but still at least a liiittle bit easier.

* * *

“No, don't go faster... just like that baby... God, just like that... it's perfect.” Sam breathed and moaned in rapture as Daryl's fingers massaged her clit in slow, but steady circles. He was perfecting the art of fingering her and bringing her to orgasm using just one hand. He had practiced on her almost every night this week, and he'd gotten used to her wanting him to speed up the motions of his fingers when she got closer and closer to orgasm, but tonight, she seemed to need something a little different. Slow and steady seemed to be winning the race today. 

 

Daryl kept up the gentle rhythm while his mouth busied itself with lavishing attention on her sensitive nipples. He kept it sweet and tender here as well, letting his tongue play with the stiff peaks, licking, flicking and sucking gently, while he enjoyed how Sam massaged his scalp while she threaded her fingers through his dark hair. Her breathing turned quick and shallow and her grip on his head tightened, and Daryl fought his instinct to let his fingers speed up their ministrations. He growled unconsciously when Sam removed one hand from his hair, and frantically and uncontrollably clutched his shoulder, than clawed at his back and then at his arm, before she covered his hand with hers, pressing it hard against her core, while she started to convulse as the muscles in her pelvis contracted and sent wave after wave of pleasurable release through her body. “Daryl...” she gasped out, followed by a couple of soft and quiet moans, when she rode out her orgasm. Daryl grinned against her breast, and slowly placed little kisses against her skin on his way from her chest up to her mouth. “You are  **really** good at this by now, you know that? Such a fast learner.” Sam told him under labored breaths.

 

“Ain't really that much to it.” Daryl shrugged casually, but he still wore a proud smile. 

 

“Well, sometimes there is. We've been lucky that I've been pretty relaxed all week. Otherwise it might have been a bit harder for me to get there.” Sam smiled and kissed him softly before she pushed her hands against his chest, making him roll on his back. Then, one of her hands slid down his belly, about to return the favor, but Daryl took hold of her wrist before she was able to reach his treasure trail. “Oh... you want to stop?” 

 

“Nah...” Daryl nervously chewed on his bottom lip. “... the opposite...” He forced the words out of his mouth, blushing a little, as usual when he expressed something he wanted or needed.

 

A big smile broke out on Sam's lips when she realized what he was saying. “You wanna do it?”

 

“Mhm.” He gave a short nod. “We ain't gotta, if ya ain't up for it, but... you know... I wanna... do that... from now on.”

 

“I'm up for it.” She smiled and quickly kissed him, trying to take his embarrassment from him. “Want me to be on top at first?”

 

“Mhm.” 

 

“We can switch positions whenever you feel like it. Or not. Whatever you want.” She offered, thinking he might want to get a feeling for things first. 

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Nothing to thank me for. It's your first time, baby... “ Suddenly she perked up. “Oh my God,... it's your first time... Is this special enough? Should I get some candles or put some music on?” She was serious and nervous all of a sudden. She wanted it to be a good experience for him, and she wished he would have said something sooner, so she would have been able to set the mood a little. 

 

Daryl actually laughed a little at her ramblings. “Shut up, Sammy.” He pulled at her until she was straddling him, then he craned his head up, while he brought hers down to meet him in a kiss. “Ain't no teenaged girl. Don't need no music or flowers or candles or shit like that. Just wanna fuck ya, Sammy.” As soon as the words had slipped out of his mouth, his eyes widened and he looked at her apologetically, while his mouth opened and closed a couple of times. 

 

She laughed out loud and quickly pressed little kisses to his cheek. “You are seriously the best. That might have been the hottest thing anyone's ever said to me.”

 

“Sounded damn bad...” Daryl mumbled, but Sam shook her head.

 

“It was honest. I like honest. Also, I might be a hopeless romantic, but I still prefer the term 'fucking' over 'making love' or 'screwing' or 'banging' or something like that. Lighten up... it's all good, baby. And I really wanna fuck you, too.” she grinned and nipped at his jaw.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Instead of replying, Sam reached down between them, wrapping her fingers around his hot erection and stroking him a couple of times, before she lined him up with her opening. “Ready?”

 

Daryl nodded, and Sam noticed that his breathing had picked up quite a bit within the past couple of seconds. He was no longer looking at her face, but was staring intently at what was going on a little further down. Not for long, though. Sam slowly pushed down, holding her breath as her eyelids fluttered shut, when Daryl's throbbing length forced its way inside of her. 

 

“Awww shit...” Daryl moaned quietly, his head falling back against the pillow and his eyes falling shut as well when he felt her hot, wet walls engulfing him. There were no words to describe what it felt like. He had tried to imagine this moment many times over the past couple of weeks, but nothing he had come up with even came close to the real deal. It was mind-blowing. Immediately his hands were grabbing at her hips, trying to get her to move. He didn't know that she needed a moment to adjust to him, he only wondered a bit impatiently, why she wasn't moving yet. “Sammy...” Daryl didn't realize that he was pleading with her out loud. All he was able to think about was, that he needed her to start bouncing up and down on his cock. His hands slid around to her ass, squeezing firmly while he pushed his hips up a little, pushing himself deeper inside of her in the process. 

 

“Ahhh...” Sam yelped and dug her nails into his chest, making him growl in response. “Careful, baby. Give me a moment. It's been a while.”

 

Her words took a moment to register, but before he had the chance to feel like an ass for apparently hurting her a little, she finally started moving, and all coherent thoughts were wiped from his brain. She started out slow, but it didn't take long for her to pick up the speed. Daryl was in heaven. He forced his eyes open and watched himself disappear inside her body over and over again, while his hands caressed her body urgently, wherever he was able to reach. He squeezed her tits and her ass and grabbed her hips and her thighs while she moved her pelvis in a maddening rhythm. When she got a little tired from riding him, she let him bottom out inside of her and rotated her hips, making his eyes roll back in his head while she ground herself down on him. He groaned and held her in place, pushing his hips up again, trying to get even deeper when it seemed like it wasn't hurting her anymore. He almost started salivating when Sam started rubbing herself, so she would be able to cum with him. His breath hitched in his chest when he felt her pussy squeezing him, but unfortunately, she lost her rhythm and a bit of speed while she was stroking herself. 

 

“Switch.” Daryl ground out between clenched jaws and quickly rolled her on her back. 

 

Sam pulled her right leg up and hooked it over his shoulder, letting him penetrate her deeply, while she quickly went back to touching herself. Daryl shuddered and groaned at the new angle. The first few thrusts were a bit careful and tentative, but it didn't take him long at all to find his rhythm. He adjusted his position a little, making himself more comfortable, before he gave her a deep, hard thrust. 

 

“Oh fuck!” Sam whined out loud, this time making him freeze right away.

 

“ This hurt?”

 

“No. No, no, no... I love this position, I get a little loud when you're on top... sorry, should've warned you. Please keep going.” she replied in a rush. 

 

“Like this?” he asked and pushed himself into her deeply with a quick snap of his hips. 

 

Sam let out another pleasure-filled moan and nodded frantically. “Like that. More. Please more, baby. Don't hold back, okay? Whatever you need... fuck me...” Sam breathed with need in her voice. She was really close, as she was still rubbing tight little circles all around her clit. 

 

Daryl shuddered with lust at her words. He didn't have to be told twice. He supported himself on his hands next to her head and picked up his rhythm again. Sam's sounds spurred him on, making him go faster and harder, and soon, their harsh breathing and lust-filled moans and groans weren't the only sounds that could be heard inside her bedroom. The noise of the bed moving, and the headboard slamming against the wall rhythmically, mingled with the slapping sound of their bodies connecting over and over again, as well as the quiet, wet, smacking noises that were caused by their bodily fluids. 

 

“Baby, I'm cumming.” Sam moaned when she felt the familiar heat spread through her loins.

 

“Me, too.” Daryl groaned, just when he felt her tight, slick walls constrict around him. “Fuck, Sammy...”

 

They both came, mere seconds apart. Daryl collapsed on top of her while his hips still moved and pushed his spasming cock into her a couple more times. Sam let her leg drop to the mattress and wrapped her arms around him tightly, clinging to him while she rode out the aftershocks of her climax. While their bodies started to calm down and go limp, Sam gently traced her fingertips all over his back, smiling happily when she felt the goosebumps forming on his skin from her gentle touches. “Did you like it?” She asked quietly, giggling when she heard him huff out a laugh against her neck.

 

“Ya really gotta ask?”

 

“Yep. Just wanna make sure.” she laughed and gently scratched his shoulder blades, making him shiver. 

 

“I'm sorry I hurt ya.” he said instead of replying to her initial question.

 

“You didn't. Not really. It was just a little uncomfortable for a moment. I don't blame you. You didn't know and I forgot about it very quickly, in case you didn't notice.” She smiled and put her lips against his ear. “You feel really good inside of me, you know that?”

 

Daryl groaned and laughed. “Damn, Sammy. You're gonna kill me.”

 

“Sorry.” she murmured and kissed his cute ear, which often peeked out from between the dark strands of his hair. She hugged him tightly and let her lips skim along his neck and his shoulder, keeping herself from telling him that she loved him, and that she loved him so much that it sometimes made her cry because she was sheer overwhelmed by the intensity of her feelings for him. She loved him as much as she loved River, just in a romantic way. It was unconditional and fierce and all-consuming. She hadn't told him yet, though, because she felt like he wasn't ready to hear it yet. It was okay. They had time. For now, she couldn't wait to have both her loves with her soon. It would be the best time of her life.

* * *

“This is a bad idea. We should have called. They are gonna be really pissed and that won't help us out at all.” Sam was bouncing her knee rapidly in the passenger seat of Daryl's car, while she rambled and nibbled on her thumb. 

 

“You might be right about them bein' pissed, but at least they won't have time to come up with any excuses for why ya can't see him this time. Relax. Ain't gon' be nice, but you ain't alone. Now come on. We ain't got too much time. Gotta drive back tomorrow afternoon.”

 

“I can't do it.”

 

“Yes, ya can.”

 

“No, I can't. I literally can't get out of this car right now.”

 

Daryl watched his girlfriend panicking. He was able to see her actually shaking. He felt for her, but he hadn't gotten up at the crack of dawn on his first day off after his first work week, just to have her chicken out, turn around and go back home. “Sammy, I know you're scared as fuck, but you can do this. And ya will. Even if that means that I gotta carry you up to that house. Trust me, I'll do it if I have to. So what's it gonna be?”

 

“As tempting as you carrying me sounds, I guess I should walk...”

 

“Atta girl. Let's go.” Daryl pulled the key out of the ignition, then he grabbed Sam by the back of her neck and kissed her long and hard. “Gonna see your boy in a minute, Sammy. Smile.”

 

“We have to go through my parents first. That's what's making it hard to smile.” Sam scoffed quietly before she inhaled deeply and shakily. “Okay, let's do it.” She opened the door and got out of the car, walking up to the door of the house with Daryl right behind her. With an unsteady hand she rang the doorbell, while her belly cramped and her throat closed up. She was so scared and nervous, simply because she had no idea what to expect, especially where River's reaction to her was concerned. 

 

Her heart started beating more rapidly when she heard squeals and quick, trampling steps coming closer from the inside of the house. Tears formed in her eyes when she realized that the only thing separating her from her son right now, was the door right in front of her, which started to open a handful of seconds later. Suddenly, he was right in front of her, all wide-eyed and curious, and Sam wasn't able to breathe.

 

“Baby! Oh my God, look at you.” She tried so hard not to cry, but it couldn't be helped. She crouched down, getting on eye-level with her son and reached for him, only to be disappointed, when he quickly stepped back and hid behind his grandmother's legs. 

 

“Sam?! What in the world are you doing here? And who is this?” Liz couldn't have been more surprised by who was standing on her doorstep.

 

It took Sam a moment to gather her bearings. This was what she had been afraid of. River had no connection to her anymore. He probably had no idea who she was or who she was supposed to be. She was just that mama person from the computer screen. Her heart broke into a million pieces within a second. “Hi Mom...” She straightened and wiped at her tears. She was at a loss for words. Why were they here? To get River back, but it seemed inappropriate to say that out loud. “This is Daryl. Daryl, this is my mother. Liz.”

 

Even though Daryl wasn't able to stand the woman, he still knew that it was important to play nice, at least at first, so he stuck his hand out. “Ma'am...”

 

“Oh, yes, of course. It's nice to meet you, Daryl.” Liz shook Daryl's hand with a smile, surprising the hell out of the man. He had expected disdainful looks and for the woman to ignore his outstretched hand. This friendly greeting threw him for a moment. “You should have called, Samina. You know that your father and I don't appreciate unannounced visitors.”

 

“I know. I'm sorry... I just... missed him so much. I needed to see him.” Sam muttered in a sad voice, while she looked at her son, who was peeking at her and Daryl curiously from behind his grandmother's legs. 

 

“It's okay, sweetie. You're mommy is here. You remember your mommy, don't you?” Liz was gently threading her fingers through River's thick hair, trying to soothe him and tell him that it's alright to come out. River stretched his arms up towards her, so she lifted him into her arms. 

 

“Daaa!” River pointed at Sam, who tried once again to take his hand, but he quickly drew it back towards his body.

 

“That's your mommy, River. And that's your mommy's friend Daryl. They are here to visit you.” Liz explained, before she finally stepped aside. “Come on in. I just made coffee.”

 

Sam reached behind her and grabbed hold of Daryl's hand. He squeezed it gently, trying to offer support. Even he had cringed for her, when River had pulled away and hidden from her. That had to hurt her quite a bit, and he knew her well enough to know that she was torturing herself by blaming herself over and over again right now. 

 

“Where's Dad?” Sam asked after they had sat down at the kitchen table. River had climbed into his high chair and was playing with some cars, rolling them back and forth on the table top, while Liz served them coffee. 

 

“Errm,... “ Liz seemed flustered, making Sam's brow furrow in suspicion.

 

“Mom?”

 

“Your father is at home, I assume.”

 

“Oh my God! You separated?!?” Sam immediately knew what Liz was saying. Daryl huffed a little in amusement, because things suddenly made a lot more sense. 

 

“It's not forever.” Liz waved her off. “You know that he's never been fond of little kids...”

 

Sam froze. She had known that, but he had seemed different with River. “Please no... Mom,... please tell me that he didn't treat River the same way he treated me.”

 

“No! He didn't yell at him or made him stay in his room, but... he ignored him in the end, so he wouldn't go ballistic. He works long hours, Sam, you know that. He's tired at the end of the day... We can't blame him... And he left before it got too bad.” Liz made excuses for her husband, while Sam's eyes filled with tears again.

 

“He ignored him? That's even worse than yelling, Mom. I remember when he used to give me the silent treatment. Being invisible is the worst. Oh my God. My baby... Why didn't you say anything? If I had known...”

 

“Then what? Huh, Sam? What would you have done?”

 

“What I should have done in the first place. Making it work with River staying with me. I thought he would be better off with you while I went through treatment. Shit... I should have known better. I should have known you wouldn't be able to change.” Sam started raising her voice the more upset she got. Daryl noticed River starting to pay attention to what was happening and gently put his hand on Sam's thigh. 

 

“Calm down, Sammy. That ain't helpin'.”

 

Sam looked at Daryl, who motioned towards River with a nod of his head. Sam turned her attention to her son and took a deep breath. “Right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Mommy's not gonna yell. Wow,... those are some cool cars you have there.” She carefully moved one of the cars and gently let it bump into another one, and her heart soared when it made River smile and laugh a little when he mimicked her and let the cars in his hands bump into one another. 

 

“How long's he been gone?” Daryl asked for Sam, like he was able to read her mind. 

 

“He left in September... so about four months.” Liz replied while she watched Sam and River play with the cars. She might be against River living with Sam again, but she was still a mother and a grandmother and it touched her and made her smile to see the two of them together. But then again, at the same time, she didn't like the view at all. 

 

“But it's only temporary? You're not getting a divorce?” Sam asked without taking her eyes off of her son.

 

“No, everything is okay, Sam. It's just for the time River's here. He just needs his peace and quiet after work. We still spend time together regularly.”

 

“Well, maybe it's time for things to go back to normal for everybody.” Sam said. She was still a little disheartened by River's response to her, but she knew that they just had to get used to each other again. Short Skype sessions were no substitute for living with him and raising him. He just had to warm up to her again, get reacquainted with her and things would be fine. One thing was for sure: she would not let him stay here any longer than necessary. 

 

Liz' smile vanished from her lips. “What does that mean? You want to take him back to Blue Ridge today?”

 

“Not today, but very soon, Mom. It's time.”

 

“That's what you think.” Liz huffed while she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. 

 

“The deal was that you'd take care of him until I'm sober and found a better job. I've been sober for 10 months... almost a year, and I've worked at the diner for almost four months... Like I said. It's time.”

 

Liz didn't reply. She stared at the table like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Daryl had been right. Now that they had put her on the spot, she wasn't able to come up with more excuses.

 

Sam stared at her mother, until she felt a little nudge against her arm. A big smile appeared on her face, when she noticed, that River was tapping his toy car against her arm, silently telling her to keep playing with him, and make the car bump against another one again. This time she did it a little harder and made a little crashing noise, making River erupt into giggles. Sam couldn't help herself, she reached out again and gently touched his soft cheek. River pulled his head away again, but when her finger slid down to his throat and accidentally tickled him, he giggled some more and leaned into the touch. 

 

“Oooooh that's right! You're so ticklish, honey!” Sam laughed and proceeded to tickle him, making him laugh out loud and squirm in his chair, while she looked at Daryl. “He used to laugh his ass off every single time I had to change his clothes or his diaper. He was so ticklish all over.” She explained to him with the happiest smile he'd ever seen her sport. 

 

“Sounds like he still is.” Daryl said with a little smile and gently squeezed her thigh again. He was happy for her. He was happy that he'd taken her here to see her boy, but he was starting to feel weird. He had no idea what it was, but something was putting a damper on his mood. 

 

“How about we go outside for a bit? Hit the playground?” Sam suggested, thinking it might be better for her and River to get reacquainted in a playful way, and what better location for that than a playground?

 

“Sounds good.” Daryl agreed, then they both looked at Liz expectantly.

 

“Yes. Fine.” She shrugged, still being all huffy. “I'll get his clothes. Do you want to come with grandma, sweetie?” She asked River, but he didn't even pay attention to her. He was highly engrossed in playing with his cars. “I'll be right back.”

 

Liz left the room, and with River still playing, Sam cradled Daryl's face in her hands and kissed him lovingly. “Thank you.”

 

“Ain't done nothing.”

 

“Oh, but you have. You kick my ass when I need it. You're there for me when I need it. So thank you.” She kissed him again, long and sweet, before she turned back towards River and tickled his neck again, delighted when he didn't flinch this time. Daryl watched them with the corners of his mouth tugged up, but he felt a little pang again, but once again, he had no idea what it meant. 

* * *

A while later Daryl and Liz sat on a bench on a playground, watching River and Sam play together in the sand. The boy was scared of the slides and the swings, which had Daryl thinking that River seemed like a bit of an odd kid. When he'd been little, he hadn't been able to wait to get outside and climb trees, use the swings and slide down the slide on his belly and shit like that, so it was hard for him to understand why a kid would be scared of those things. 

 

“You know what you're doin' ain't right, don't ya?” he addressed Liz in his quiet manner, while he kept watching his girlfriend, who was the happiest he'd ever seen her. “The boy ain't a substitute for a husband.”

 

“That's not it.”

 

“I think that's exactly it. Can't be a coincidence that he leaves right around the time you start fighting Sam on getting the boy back to her. Can't cling on to him. He belongs with his momma.”

 

“Sam isn't ready.”

 

“She is. Wouldn't say it, if it weren't true. She's doin' real good. She's workin' hard to stay sober. She's takin' meetings every week, extra ones when she's stressed out. She's stayin' home at night, tryin' new dishes for the kid and makin' me a guinea pig by making me eat 'em. She ain't even goin' out no more. Has her friend come over instead. When I'm with her we just stay on the couch and she spends her time drawin' me how I eat chocolate and watch TV or she paints pictures of flowers and stuff like that.”

 

“She's drawing again?”

 

“Yeah. She's really good.”

 

“I know.”

 

“She's doing good. She's ready. She wants him. You should see the room in her house she prepped for the kid... she's hurtin'. She needs her boy back and that boy needs his momma.”

 

“What if she relapses?”

 

“I'm there. I ain't an alcoholic, but I grew up with 'em. I know the signs. I'll be the first one who drags her to a treatment center, you can trust me on that. I know, never say never, but I don't think she's gon' relapse. She was in a bad situation back then, but she ain't no more...”

 

“I don't know you, Daryl. You seem nice enough, but you can't expect me to believe you. You two haven't even been together very long. How do you fit into this anyway? Are you ready to be a father, Daryl? Is that something you want?”

 

“Ain't like that...”

 

“It is, Daryl. If you spend a lot of time with them, River will get attached to you, eventually. He'll come to think of you as his father.” Liz fought a smug smirk when she watched Daryl avert his gaze and noticed him fidgeting. “You haven't thought about that yet, have you? That's what it is to date a single mother. You have to be aware that it's not just you and Sam. It will be you, Sam **and** River. Once he grows attached to you, he will want you to spend time with him as well. Your relationship with Sam will take the backseat for a long while... Considering that it's not even much of a relationship yet... Not after just a month or two...” She trailed off, letting him fill in the blanks by himself. 

 

Daryl swallowed hard. Liz had a point in the sense, that Daryl hadn't really thought about all the consequences River's return would have. He just wanted Sam to be happy, everything else hadn't been important. “Sounds like you're gonna do the right thing and let him go.” Daryl steered the topic away from him.

 

“I don't want to. I still don't think she's ready, but I don't have much of a choice, do I? At least this time she's fighting. All the other times, she just gave in... Maybe I have been waiting for this. A sign that she really wants this.”

 

“She does. All she does is for him. Don't let her beg for her son back any longer. I may not know much, but I know that they both deserve to be back together. He's got a momma who gives a shit. Don't take that away from him.” Daryl mumbled, before he got up and slowly walked over to where Sam and River were playing. He hated talking and saying things like that made him uncomfortable, but he would be damned if he didn't do everything in his power to help Sam get her boy back.

* * *

** Thank you for reading. **

 

** I mapped out the rest of the story and I think we might be looking at 18-20 chapters altogether. Like I said, it's not going to be a huge story that keeps going on forever and ever. So it's not going to be too much longer. Once Bare Essentials is finished, I'll be back to writing for His Walls again. I think some Bay and Daryl time is long overdue, right?:) **

 

** Thank you so much to all the commenters and readers who leave kudos. **

 

** Much love to all of you. **


	14. Chapter 14

They arrived back home on Sunday night. It had been a long weekend for both of them, albeit for different reasons, and they both dropped on Sam's bed like flies. Sam had her eyes closed, while Daryl stared at the ceiling in silence. He was tired, but he had an itch and he felt like he wouldn't be able to fall asleep without scratching it first. They had barely had any alone time since Friday night, and he missed being alone and close with her. The whole week had been long and stressful, and they both hadn't adjusted yet to the new circumstances and the heavily reduced quality time they were able to spend together. With Daryl at work from early in the morning until late in the evening, he was no longer able to accommodate her schedule and come over whenever she was home in the morning, every time she was working a late shift. It was rough on both of them, because all they wanted was to be together 24/7.

 

Daryl slowly rolled on top of her and lowered his head, nestling it in the crook of her neck, where he proceeded to gently kiss the soft skin until he felt her pulse point beneath his lips. He gave the spot a slow lick, suppressing a smile when he felt her inhaling deeply, then he latched on and sucked on that little hot spot of hers. He soon felt Sam's fingers combing through his hair, and heard her tired voice. “You deserve a big ass night of hot lovin', baby... but I'm afraid I need to sleep first. I'm so tired, I can barely remember my name. I can use my hands, though... if that's okay for tonight?”

 

“Nah, forget it... We should sleep. Been on the road half the weekend and we got work in the morning.”

 

“Are you sure? I wanna give you what you need...”

 

“You're too tired. It's alright. Don't want you to force yourself to stay awake and do it half-asleep.” Daryl was disappointed, but he would never force her to do something she wasn't up for. He'd just thought he'd try and see if she would still be fit enough for a little roll in the sack. She wasn't and that was okay. If only he wouldn't crave her and miss her so much. They were still smack in the middle of that early phase where every hour spent apart was torture.

 

He rolled on his back again and pulled Sam into his arms. Her even breathing indicated that she was already asleep. Daryl sighed and kept staring at the ceiling, while he recalled the events of the weekend. He still wasn't Liz' biggest fan, but the woman had been right about some things. He hadn't really thought about what he was getting himself into. He absolutely could not imagine having the little boy call him 'Daddy'. He didn't know the first thing about being a good father and role model anyway. Their relationship was still extremely fresh and as soon as River would be back, they'd barely get to spend time together alone. Maybe not at all in the first couple of weeks or even months. God only knew what that would do to their relationship. But maybe he was worrying in vain. Maybe it would all just work out and their bond would become even stronger. But maybe not. It remained to be seen. Unfortunately Daryl already wasn't keen on finding out, because he dreaded what would happen if things wouldn't work out. _Would be good if we could have both. Sam gets her boy back and things still stay exactly the same as they are now. Reckon that ain't possible...Shit... Gotta find a way to make this stuff work..._

 

Sleep didn't come, because his mind wouldn't slow down, but his thoughts kept running in circles. The only outcome was, that he was tired as fuck the next morning.

* * *

“Alright Merle, here's your cheeseburgers with fries and an extra plate of bacon. Have fun with your coronary.” Sam muttered while she served the older Dixon brother his lunch.

 

“Very funny, Bambi.”

 

“If you could please stop calling me that? It's in the past.”

 

“Hm, I like it.” Merle shrugged and dug into his burger. “So, guess I misjudged my brother, huh? You're still around, I see.”

 

“Great observational skills as always, Merle.”

 

“Heard about your kid...” Merle smirked. “Still wanna tell me that ya ain't after Daryl's new, big paycheck? Ya don't earn much here. I'm sure you need someone who foots the bill for some things when the little squirt is back around, right?”

 

“Good God, Merle. Really? How often do I have to tell you that I fell for your brother way before he got that job, and I sure as hell didn't push him to go find one. Right now it's quite the opposite. I wish he would be back to being around more.”

 

“Awww, miss him, dontcha? How sweet. Makes me want to throw up that burger.”

 

“Just spare me, Merle. Believe me, don't believe me, I'm fine either way. Just stop with the bullshit and keep it to yourself. I got more important things to worry about.”

 

“When's he comin? Your boy, I mean.”

 

“In about a month.”

 

“Where you gonna bring him when yer here?”

 

“Daycare, I guess.”

 

“Huh... Got a spot for him?”

 

“What?”

 

“That daycare down the street is pretty full from what I hear. You should call ahead and reserve a spot for him.” Merle told her and scoffed when he noticed the surprised and incredulous look on her face. “What? I hear things. I talk to all kinds of women...”

 

“So I heard.” Sam frowned. “I just didn't think there was much of actual talking going on.... Thanks.”

 

“Ain't no thing.” Merle waved her off and continued eating, while Sam went back to work. There was a little flicker of hope inside of her that maybe Merle was starting to come around and warm up to her. She would definitely be grateful for no longer having to listen to how she was trying to rip off Daryl.

 

After her shift, Sam went down the street to the daycare and did what Merle had told her to do. He had been right. The place was pretty full already and Sam would have to bring River to a babysitter for two weeks before he would be able to go to the daycare. If she hadn't gone there today, she might not have gotten a spot for her son at all until summer. She would actually have to thank Merle for his advice.

* * *

** 4 weeks later **

 

It was done. Sam had her baby back in her arms as they waved after Liz' car that was slowly driving down the street after a terribly tearful goodbye. Liz had been a sobbing mess, which Sam understood all too well, because it had been the same for her when her parents had taken River with them almost exactly a year ago. River was crying, too, but as soon as Sam took him inside into his room and distracted him with his toys, he quickly calmed down and started playing with the toy cars, which seemed to be his absolute favorites. 

 

Sam was beyond happy and she reveled in every little smile and every little giggle she got from her boy. She had spent the past three weekends with River and her mother, taking a bus on Fridays right after work and returning to Blue Ridge on Sunday nights, in order to get River used to her again. It had worked out perfectly, because by now, she was allowed to cuddle and kiss him again and he had stayed alone with her for a couple of hours without missing his grandma all too much. Now she couldn't wait for Daryl to come over a little later, as soon as he was back from his hunting trip with Merle. The past month had been difficult for them, but Sam had managed to work early shifts most of the time, which had enabled her to rest a little in the afternoon and focus all of her attention on Daryl at night. They had both soaked that quality time up like sponges, both secretly knowing that there would be very few occasions to be completely alone together in the near future, but neither of them ever talking about it out loud. 

 

As the hours progressed, Sam fixed herself and River a celebratory lunch of chicken nuggets, fries and a lot of ketchup, after which she got him ready for his nap. Thankfully Liz had stuck to the basic rituals Sam had implemented after River's birth, so after reading him a story and changing his diaper, she was allowed to put him in his sleeping bag and put him down in his new bed. They had used a bed-sheet Liz had brought, which had a familiar smell for the toddler, and his stuffed animals and pacifiers were all arranged in the same manner as he was used to. Now Sam could only hope that it would work and that River would be able to sleep. Sam closed the door and sat on her couch, listening to him babble and cry a little bit, but after a couple of minutes, it was quiet and River had fallen asleep, much to Sam's joy. She cleaned up the kitchen a little, then she laid down on the sofa and rested a little as well.

 

River slept for two hours before he woke up crying, but once again, as soon as he was in Sam's arms and she was distracting him, he calmed right back down. She played with him a little, before she left him with his beloved cars in the living room, while she made coffee for herself and Daryl, who'd texted her that he would be over in a few. She kept peeking into the living room, making sure that River was okay, but he was playing and babbling and didn't seem to have a care in the world.

 

It wasn't long until Sam heard the front door open and close, followed by Daryl's voice. “Sammy?”

 

“Kitchen.” she smiled, insanely happy that she now had both of her favorite people in the world together in her house, but unfortunately, that happiness only lasted all of five seconds. Sam almost dropped their mugs when River let out an ear-piercing scream. Daryl jumped in shock, his heart beating twice as fast as before as he tried to calm down the upset toddler.

 

“Hey... calm down, boy... ain't nothing happened....” 

 

Sam quickly made an appearance and lifted River into his arms. “What happened? Shhhh... it's alright, sweetie, it's gonna be okay.”

 

“Dunno. He just started screamin' bloody murder.”

 

“Shhhhh... it's okay, baby.” She gently stroked his hair, trying to soothe him, while she stepped closer to Daryl, in order to kiss him hello. However, River prevented her from doing so, because the closer they got to Daryl, the more River started screaming and fighting. Sam was stunned. “Honey, you're not afraid of Daryl, are you? You've met Daryl. We all played together, remember? Calm down, sweetie, please. He's not gonna do anything.” She kept rocking him and stroking his hear and gently talking to him, but for the first time that day, River simply didn't calm down. “I don't know what's wrong... He knows you...”

 

Daryl felt very uncomfortable. He dug his hands into his pockets and kept biting his lip while he watched River cry his eyes out and Sam trying to get him to calm down. “Saw me once... ain't knowin' me, Sammy.” Daryl said with a shrug. “Reckon he ain't got many good experiences with dudes.”

 

“Well, time for him to learn that there are good men out there. And Daryl is the very best, my love. I promise you that. He drives a really cool truck, you know that? I'm sure he'll show you one day...” Sam tried again, but River didn't care. “Let's just sit down.” she suggested and sat down with River in her lap. “Come on, just act normal. He's gotta calm down eventually.” Sam told Daryl and patted the space next to her, while River clung to her like his life depended on it. He even dug his little fingernails painfully into her arm, silently telling her not to let go. “How was your hunting trip?” Sam asked over the noise of River's screams.

 

“Was alright, I guess.” Daryl replied less than enthusiastic. The whole thing was a bit unnerving, and he really felt uncomfortable being right in the middle of it. 

 

“Did you catch yourself some game?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“That's great. What did you get?”

 

“Rabbits, mostly. Some squirrels.”

 

“That's good. Damn, the coffee is still in the kitchen...”

 

“Don't bother... I think I should go.”

 

“What? No. You just got here.”

 

“He's not settling down, Sammy.”

 

“It's just been a couple of minutes. Give him some time.”

 

“He's scared of me...”

 

“He just needs to get to know you.” Sam didn't want Daryl to leave. They had to get through this somehow. Daryl was a part of her life, just as much as River was, so they had to get used to each other. 

 

“Yeah, but not today. Ain't no sense in torturing him. He's scared. He shouldn't have to be scared inside his own house. I know what it's like and I ain't gon' make him suffer. Neither should you.” Daryl said decisively and got back up from the couch.

 

“Daryl, no, wait... I know it sucks, but we just have to wait a little bit. He's not gonna cry forever. Just sit back down and let's talk and he'll see that nothing bad is going on.”

 

“It's his first day here, Sammy. Don't fucking torture him. We can try again next week. Maybe outside in the park. He was okay with that when we went to see him the first time.”

 

“Next week... hold up... Am I supposed to Skype with you now every time I want to see you?”

 

“Ain't got no computer.” Daryl said dryly, his hand already on the doorknob.

 

“Daryl... River, please. Nothing's happening, baby...”

 

“I'll call you later.” 

 

“Daryl, please...” But her pleading fell on deaf ears. Daryl took one last look at her, then he left. Sam wanted to cry right along with River. She had no idea why her son was flipping out like that. He hadn't reacted this way the first time he'd seen Daryl, so it made no sense to her that he was scared of him now. Too bad that River wasn't able to tell her what was wrong with him, yet. She kept rocking him and started quietly singing to him and, not entirely surprisingly with Daryl gone now, he started calming down again. “Oh baby... why are you scared of Daryl? He never did anything to you. He's mommy's boyfriend, you know? I love him very much, just like I love you, and I know that Daryl will love you, too, very soon. That man's got so much love to give. I'm serious, honey. He is a good guy. He's not like your father or your grandfather. I'm sure the two of you would be able to do so many fun things together... “ 

 

River didn't seem interested. Once he calmed down, he climbed out of Sam's arms and plopped down on the floor, going back to playing with his cars as if nothing had happened. Sam slumped further into the couch in defeat, while she watched her little guy do his thing. A single tear escaped her eye, which she quickly wiped away, before River noticed. This was not what she had imagined what it would be like. Out of all the things that could have gone wrong, she had never, not once, imagined that River would have such a strong reaction to Daryl. It was disheartening, but then again, it was just the first day. Nothing was lost yet. The toddler just needed some time to acclimate to all the new surroundings. At least that's what she hoped.

* * *

Merle frowned when Daryl was back home less than half an hour after he'd left. “That was fast... Lil' Speedy Gonzalez, aren't ya?”

 

“Shut up, Merle.” Daryl muttered while he grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge.

 

“Thought ya were gon' spend the night over at Bambi's. What happened?”

 

Daryl just shrugged, but after taking a long gulp from his beer bottle, he finally answered. “Kid started screaming as soon as I got there. Scared of me... Didn't calm down.”

 

“Ha... facial profiling starts at an early age, huh?” Merle chuckled. 

 

Daryl rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. He wasn't able to stop thinking about how he had somehow known that exactly this would happen. Things with Sammy had been too good to be true. He should have known that it wouldn't take long for things turning to shit. “Kid's afraid of his own shadow. Won't even use the swing-set or the slide on the damn playground.”

 

“Little pussy in the makin'.” Merle yawned. “She should make him take some self-defense classes. Kid like that can sure use 'em later.”

 

“You ever known a kid that was scared of the playground?”

 

“Nah.” Merle laughed again, thinking it was insanely funny that a child was scared of a playground. “Seems like Bambi's got a weird one.”

 

“Yeah. Maybe he's got some kinda trauma from being shipped back and forth between places... who knows. He don't even talk. Ain't kids supposed to talk at that age?”

 

“Fuck man, I don't know. I ain't no expert on kids. But from what I remember, you started chewin' my fucking ear off when you were close to two years old. Fucking annoying.”

 

“He's close to two years old. He ain't sayin' a word. Just babblin' like a baby.”

 

“Like I said, weird kid. Maybe that's why she sank her claws in ya. Maybe she knows she's gotta send him to a special school and she needs-”

 

“Don't fucking say it, man.” Daryl rolled his eyes anew, when Merle started up with his conspiracy theories again. “She don't want my money. She won't even let me pay for food, and I eat there damn near every day.”

 

“Whatever. Whatchu gon' do now?”

 

“I'm goin' to bed.” Daryl muttered and emptied the bottle in one long swig.

 

“It's fucking five pm, little brother.”

 

“What do I care? Ain't got nothin' else to do today.” Daryl said with a deep sigh and trotted to the other end of the trailer to lay down on the bed. He was in a really bad mood. If this first encounter was a taste of what was to come, then his nightmares would come true. It absolutely bummed him out. He had promised Sam that he wouldn't run as soon as the kid would be back with her, but now that was his first instinct and it was exactly what he was doing. He should have known sooner. He wasn't a family man. He didn't know how to do it and he wasn't even sure he wanted to do it. All he knew was, that he wanted his Sammy. Daryl wasn't selfish by nature, but Sam had been the first good thing in his life and she had been all his. He wanted that back. He desperately wished to be able to turn back time to the night he had fucked her for the first time. Only this time, he wouldn't take her to see her son the next morning. There would be no three weekends she'd be gone in a row. There would be no sharing her. He wanted her all to himself. He didn't want to share her, not even with her son. That's where he was selfish for the first time in his life, and of course it was the worst thing for him to choose to be selfish with. He knew he couldn't make her choose. Deep down, he didn't even want to. He was conflicted. He wanted her to have her son and be happy. He wanted that little guy to have his mother, but he also wanted to be with her. Just with her. No sharing. No giving up any more time with her. If the boy wouldn't get used to him, he would only be able to see her when River was sleeping or with a sitter, and how often would that be? No matter what, he would always end up being the loser in every scenario. It was either sharing her with River, trying to make the most out of every minute they would have together or it would be nothing at all. He would have to decide what he would be able to live with, and in the back of his mind he knew that he'd suffer less if he would just shut down.

* * *

** Thank you for reading. **

 

** Bit of a filler-y chapter, but hey, two updates in one weekend to make up for the long break;-) Although I'm sure a lot of you are not happy with me after this one. But that's life. Not everything is always unicorn and rainbows.  Thank you so much for the kudos and comments. Much love to you.  
**


	15. Chapter 15

After two hours and about five times calling Daryl's cell, Sam gave up. River had been asleep in his bed for the past two and a half hours and now Sam was laying in her bed alone, crying, on what should have been one of the happiest days since River had been born. She tried to rationalize the situation. Maybe Daryl had been so exhausted from his hunting trip, that he'd fallen asleep early. And maybe because he'd fallen asleep, he hadn't noticed that the battery of his phone had died. She tried to tell herself that those had to be the reasons why she wasn't able to get a hold of him, but the truth was glaringly obvious and she was just trying to deny it. Daryl had turned his phone off deliberately. He was always very mindful of being reachable for Sam when he wasn't staying the night at her place. It wasn't like him to forget charging his cell and Sam knew that, much to her dismay.

 

_Is he mad at me?_ She tried to think of a reason he might be mad at her for, but she wasn't able to come up with one. Things had been great Friday night and Saturday morning when they'd had breakfast together before he had left for the woods. She hadn't called him during the weekend, because she hadn't wanted to disturb him during the hunt. She had only left him a good night message on Saturday night and had asked him to let her know when he would be back on Sunday. That was all. No fighting.  _Maybe he was just startled by River's reaction. Lord knows I was. That explains why he left, but not why he would avoid talking to me now. Maybe...he's... I don't know. Fuck, I don't know. No idea what's going on._

 

Sam kept wondering for a while, until her exhaustion was big enough to allow her to fall asleep. It probably had been for the better that Daryl hadn't spent the night. River started crying in the middle of the night and only calmed down once Sam had taken him back to her own bed. When he was snuggled in next to his mother, River went right back to sleep. That probably wouldn't have happened with Daryl there, considering how he had reacted to his mother's lover earlier in the day. This way, everybody involved was getting a decent amount of sleep, at least.

 

River woke up at 6 in the morning and immediately started jumping on the bed, laughing his little butt off, while Sam groaned and tried to wake up. “Wow, you're chipper in the mornings, huh?” she smiled when River let himself fall to his knees and threw himself into her arms. “Ooffff... and you're heavy, too. How about fattening you up some more? How about some breakfast?”

 

As usual, River didn't reply. He was just babbling in his baby language while he went back to bouncing on the bed. Sam made a mental note to make an appointment with a pediatrician for a check-up. She would definitely bring up the speech problem, too. Even though River hadn't been with her, it hadn't stopped Sam from reading books and online articles about a child's development and milestones, etc. She knew that a child at River's age should have a vocabulary of at least 50 words (and that was the minimum, because the average vocabulary according to an article was supposed to be 200 words at age 2), but he wasn't saying a single one. She was aware that some kids, especially boys often took longer to learn how to speak, but she wanted to be on the safe side and have it checked out. Her mother had always just waved her off, telling her to give the boy time, but it had always irked her, that he wasn't even saying simple things like 'yes' or 'no'.

 

After a couple of minutes of cuddling, the pair went to the kitchen to have breakfast. River didn't stay around long, he preferred getting some toys out of his room and take them to the living room, while Sam whipped up some sweet and chocolate-y Nutella oatmeal. River ate two spoonfuls and was done. Liz had already told her, that he wasn't big on eating, especially in the mornings, so Sam let him be. After she had finished her bowl of oatmeal, she got them washed up and dressed and took him to the diner to proudly introduce her son to the women who had become family in the past four months.

 

Her boss Patty was beside herself with joy. She loved little kids, but unfortunately it looked like her own children weren't planning on making her a grandmother anytime soon. “Oh Sam, look at this handsome young man. What a cutekin. Those big blue eyes, just like your momma! Beautiful. Hi sweetie. Are you gonna tell me your name?”

 

“He doesn't talk y- Oh, watch out...” Sam was about to step in when Patty moved to pinch River's cheeks, not wanting him to freak out again, but much to Sam's surprise, River was laughing and smiling at the older woman. “Okay... so it really is just the men you don't like.” Sam sighed with sadness in her voice.

 

“What?” Patty looked up at her questioningly.

 

“Daryl came over last night and River completely freaked out. He was scared of him, even though he met him before and Daryl never did anything.”

 

“That happens, don't worry, Sam. From what you told me the men in his life have been assholes to him. He needs time to learn that not all men are like that. Maybe let them get to know each other on neutral grounds. Outside or here, having dinner together, something like that.” Patty smiled and patted Sam's back encouragingly.

 

“Yeah... Daryl suggested something along those lines, as well.”

 

“Smart man. You chose a good one, Sam. You will be such a cute family.”

 

Sam forced a smile. Her stomach cramped when she thought about Daryl and that she still hadn't been able to reach him. She had texted him earlier, but so far, no response. Then again, he was driving for a living, and driving and texting didn't mix well. He had used to put her on speaker, though. Sometimes they had been on the phone for hours in the mornings when she had been off work and he had been on the road between warehouses. But not today.

 

“Anyway, whatever you need, Sam, you hear me?” Patty tore Sam out of her thoughts. “If you have trouble getting a sitter for him when you have to take a late shift, just bring him here until Daryl's home. I can keep him occupied in my office and watch him. He can have dinner here and then Daryl can get him and take him home and put him in bed.”

 

“Oh, that's sweet Patty, but I can't possibly accept that.” Sam was amazed by the generosity her boss kept displaying over and over again.

 

“Yes you can. I've been in your shoes, I know what it's like. Don't you worry about a thing. We're all family here and we'll manage things together. I'll give you as many morning shifts as I can, but when it's not possible, just bring him.” Patty mentioned again, before Sam's best friend Becky cut in.

 

“Or I watch him, if I'm not working as well. I'm good with kids. Looots of brothers and sisters, remember?”

 

“You guys are absolutely awesome.” Sam laughed and suppressed happy tears. All this support was amazing and overwhelming.

* * *

24 hours and no word from Daryl. Sam knew what it meant. She was no longer able to be in denial about it. Daryl was avoiding her on purpose. It confused her to no end, because up until yesterday, there had been no indication that something was wrong. It's like he did a complete one-eighty overnight and she had no clue why. Sam wasn't giving up quite yet, though. Not until she heard what he had to say about it. When River was sleeping peacefully at night, she tried her luck again and called his cell.

 

“Hey.” Daryl greeted with his quiet voice after about the sixth ring. Sam assumed that he'd taken a moment to decide whether he wanted to accept the call or not, judging by his not overly cheerful tone. It broke her heart, but at the same time she was relieved to hear his voice at all.

 

“Hey, stranger...” She wasn't able to keep herself from saying it, but she kept her tone gentle, not wanting to get off to a bad start. “Missed you...”

 

“Yeah...” Daryl mumbled. It was followed by a moment of silence, while Sam waited for him to say more, but it never came.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“Beat.”

 

“How was your day?”

 

“Busy.”

 

“Not coming over, then?”

 

“Nah. Ain't good for the boy.”

 

“He has to get used to it, Daryl. Maybe if you come over every night, even if it's just five minutes, maybe that would help. He would learn that it's part of the routine and that nothing bad happens when you're around.”

 

“Ain't gonna drive back and forth a hundred times, Sam.”

 

Sam pressed her lips together so she wouldn't explode. He hadn't had any problems driving back and forth before River's arrival. He was doing it... He was breaking his promise. One day and he was already running. She inhaled deeply through her nose, calming herself down, before she spoke again. “What's going on Daryl?”

 

“I'm tired.”

 

“Of me?”

 

“No.” he replied quicker this time, and less bored. That was at least a little light at the end of the tunnel.

 

“So... we're not gonna try during the week?”

 

“We can hit the park on Saturday.”

 

“Right...” Sam let out a sarcastic little laugh. “Today's Monday. Does that mean we're not gonna see each other for another four days?”

 

“I wanna,... but...”

 

“But you're tired and you won't drive back and forth a hundred times. Yeah, I get it.” Sam shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose as tears stung her eyes.

 

“Sammy...”

 

“No, it's alright. I get it. You work long hours.” She said, but her tone told him that she was anything but understanding. He knew that she knew that he was avoiding the whole new situation. “I'm tired, too, and I don't want to take up more of your time. See you Saturday. Text me with a time.”

 

“Sammy.” He said again, trying to keep her on the line when he realized how much he was hurting her, because his heart was clenching painfully in his chest as well. But Sam had hung up, and it was better this way. She would be able to fully focus on her son. She would never have to feel guilty for not being able to spend enough time with either one of them, and he, Daryl, was better off alone. Well, not really, but he simply wasn't able to share her and only spend mere minutes alone with her at night.

 

He'd had long hours on the road to think earlier in the day and he had realized that even if River wouldn't cry, Daryl still had absolutely no clue how to build a relationship with the little guy. How to form a connection. How to treat him. What to do with him. He wasn't good with kids. At least he didn't think he was. He had never tried. No matter what, it seemed like life with Sam and her son wasn't meant to be. They had been amazing together when it had been just the two of them, but Daryl wasn't able to be part of a real family. He wasn't parent material. He had to let her go, so she would be able to find someone else for herself and River. Someone better. She deserved someone better than him. He was too damaged to be a father figure to anyone. He wanted to curl up and cry, because he was hurting all over, but if he was completely honest with himself, he'd seen this coming ever since they had arrived at Liz' house over a month ago. That's what he'd felt back then; why he had been so subdued and had to force smiles... He felt like he didn't belong. He didn't belong into her life with River. She needed a real man, who knew what he was doing. That wasn't him, as much as that ugly truth wanted to make him scream, but good God, that just wasn't him. He would meet them once more on Saturday, because she deserved to hear it from him in person and face to face, but after that, they would have to go their separate ways. It was better that way. That's what he tried to tell himself, but his heart felt like it was trying to rip itself to shreds.

* * *

The week passed pretty quickly for Sam, because even though she was hurting, she had River to distract her. He was simply amazing. Apart from the freak out with Daryl, River had been completely chill. He acted like nothing had happened, like his whole life hadn't changed **again**. He was easy going and the changes didn't seem to affect him at all. After that week, Sam already felt like he'd never been gone. The mother-son bond had to be way stronger than she had ever imagined, because he was so lovey-dovey with her and he had the biggest smile on his face when she came into his room in the mornings. They were a unit again. The only thing missing was the other love of her life. 

 

Saturday morning Sam felt like she was caught in the state right before you had to throw up. She couldn't wait to see Daryl again, but she was pretty sure that it would be a goodbye meeting. He hadn't tried to contact her at all in the past week, which was not a good sign. He had told her that he wasn't tired of her, but he didn't seem to miss her. He didn't seem to want to talk to her.  _ Maybe he won't even show up...  _ That thought made her want to throw up for real. She couldn't have misjudged him that badly. He was a decent guy. Well, not so much in the past week, but he had been up until then. She just wanted answers and a clear decision. She'd had time to think as well and the only conclusion that made sense to her was, that Daryl simply had changed his mind. He wasn't ready for having River around and he was running away from the changed circumstances. She was mentally prepared for what would happen, but it hurt nonetheless. 

 

“Riiiiveeer, come on, let's put your hat on.” Sam called out for her son and heard him running towards her just a second later. It had been a bit of an adjustment for her, that River wasn't a little baby anymore and she didn't have to keep her eyes on him every little second. He was great at occupying himself. He often played with his Lego's or his toy cars, sometimes Sam let him watch some TV and they cuddled, but when she sat on the floor to play with him, he wasn't all that interested in having a play mate. He was perfectly happy with Sam on the sofa and lifting his head every couple of minutes, to look if she was still there and giving her one of his cute little smiles, before he turned his attention back to his toys. When he wanted her attention, he grabbed a book and climbed on her lap so she would read it for him. He often pointed at things, having Sam say what it was, and sometimes, Sam asked him to look for something in the picture and he pointed it out. He seemed to understand everything just fine, but was not feeling talking just yet. 

 

She put his warm jacket, a scarf and his hat on him, since it was still pretty cold outside, lifted him into his stroller, and off they were to the park to meet Daryl. He wasn't there yet when they arrived and Sam grew more nervous with every passing minute. He wasn't late, (Sam and River had arrived about 15 minutes early) but the wait was still nerve-wracking. She just wanted to get it over with, if it was indeed goodbye.

 

She kept her eyes on River, who was playing in the sandpit, letting her eyes dart around to look out for Daryl as well. She jumped when she suddenly heard his quiet voice behind her. “Hey.”

 

“Hi.” she swallowed hard, when she laid eyes on him. Every fiber of her being was longing for him. All she wanted to do was crawl on his lap and hug the hell out of him. Daryl had other ideas, though. He sat on the other end of the bench, as far away from her as possible, without falling off or having to stand. She would be lying if she would say that it didn't feel like someone was ramming a knife into her heart and twisting it a couple of times. “How are you?”

 

“Been better.” Daryl rasped quietly with a shrug. “He looks good. Happy...” He said when he looked at River, who was still playing in the sand.

 

“He is. He is handling everything remarkably well. The only time he cried was when...” Sam caught herself before she was able to finish the sentence, but Daryl knew exactly what she meant.

 

“...when he met me.” Daryl finished the sentence for her. The fact that River was only freaked out by him let him know that he was making the right decision. 

 

“It was his first day, Daryl. Things might be different now, but we won't know until we try again.” Sam looked at him imploringly, silently begging him to try again, but it was in vain. Daryl wasn't even looking at her. He was staring at a spot on the ground, chewing his lip raw, and it was then, that Sam knew for sure. “But you don't wanna try again, do you? It's too much, hm?”

 

“I'm sorry, Sammy. Really am.”

 

“What happened? I mean, I get what happened. You changed your mind, but... what I don't get is... if you had doubts, why didn't you say something sooner? Or was this really something that happened overnight? You woke up Sunday morning and decided you didn't wanna do it?”

 

“Ain't that. I wanna do it, but I can't.”

 

“But you haven't even tried. You lasted 2 minutes and you ran. I know it sucks when a child is scared of you, but those things are just temporary.”

 

“Wasn't just that, Sammy. I know I promised ya that I wouldn't run. I feel like shit for breaking that promise, but I can't do it. I ain't the man for raising your kid with ya. I ain't good with kids. I felt weird when we went to see him. Realized that I don't know how to do... dunno... fucking anything. Never had no real family. Don't know the first thing about it. You need someone better. Ain't me.”

 

“It is you. I don't want anyone else. When I met you I was very sure that I didn't want a new man in my life, but you convinced me that there were good guys on this planet after all. I wouldn't have let things with you get this far if I would have thought you wouldn't be good with my son.”

 

“I thought I could do it, Sammy, but it ain't happenin'. Ain't got nothin' to do with you. Still wanna be with ya, but I ain't no family man. I'm sorry.”

 

Sam breathed deeply, trying to keep the tears from falling, but not really succeeding. “At least you found out before he got attached to you... Guess that's better than the other way around.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I'm disappointed, but I understand. It's a lot of responsibility. I think we could have managed, but if you don't think you're ready, then I accept that. Can't and won't force you... I'm not mad... A little about the way you handled things last week-”

 

“I was a jerk, I know. Didn't know what to do... Damn sorry, Sammy.” He felt like the biggest asshole on the planet. He never ever wanted to make her cry, but now he had not only done that, he had also made her really miserable.

 

“You said that. I get it.” An involuntary sob escaped her, making her feel like the weakest woman ever, because she didn't have it in her to be strong enough to keep herself from crying in front of him. 

 

“Wish it was different...” he made her jump again when his voice was suddenly so much closer than before. He hadn't even realized that he had scooted closer to her, but now he just went with it. He hated to see her so sad, and being the reason for it made him develop the urge to slit his own throat. 

 

“But it's not... It's alright.” Sam looked up at him with her tear-stained face. Having him so close had her throw caution to the wind and she threw her arms around him and pressed herself against him as much as she could. “I'm sorry... fuck, Daryl, I'm gonna miss you so much.” she cried against his neck. 

 

Daryl wrapped his arms around her, wanting to hold her one last time as well. “Gon' be the same for me, Sammy.”

 

“Maybe, we can be friends,... as cliché as it sounds.”

 

“Nah.” Daryl quickly shook his head. “Focus on your boy. Ya gotta loose my number, girl. Gon' be too hard otherwise.”

 

“Clean break, huh?”

 

“Right.” he nodded. “Better that way.”

 

“If that's what you want...” Sam sighed shakily. She pulled back and looked into his eyes, and when she did, Daryl gently wiped at her tears with his thumbs. Sam let out a little laugh and shook her head. “You're killing me...”

 

“Killin' myself here.” he muttered. His thumb traced along her bottom lip for a split-second and the electricity between them sparked. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, then they both leaned in until their lips met. Feeling his soft lips against her own made Sam cry even harder, but she didn't let up and neither did Daryl. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, letting it tangle with hers in a hard and desperate kiss, while they clung to each other for a moment longer. 

 

Sam eventually pulled away, no longer able to breathe properly. Daryl let go of her and took a deep breath, trying to suppress his own tears. “Imma go.”

 

“Yeah.” Sam agreed, staring straight ahead at River, who was unaware of what was going on behind him. 

 

Daryl took one last look at her, then he abruptly got up and strode off as quickly as his feet carried him, leaving Sam to break down by herself. She was only glad that River was engrossed in what he was doing, so he wasn't witnessing his mother crying uncontrollably over her lost love.

 

Daryl left the park and headed for his truck, blinking away the tears that were clouding his vision. The tears only lasted a moment and were gone by the time he was sitting in his car. He was breathing heavily, though, and his fingers were shaking as he lit a cigarette. He had dreaded this meeting, and it had been worse than he'd imagined, but it was behind them now. They both had to move on from here on out. Not that he would move on with another woman, but he had to go on with his life without her. 

 

He lit another cigarette right after the first one, and felt himself get calmer. Well, maybe not calmer, but with every passing minute realization of what had happened sunk in more and more, and Daryl started feeling emptier and emptier. 

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

 

**Anyone need a tissue? I was crying like a baby when I wrote this, but I'm also overly emotional and way too attached to my characters, haha.**

 

**Hate me, yet? At least updates are faster again;-)**

**Let me know what you think.**


	16. Chapter 16

**3 weeks later**

 

Merle stood in the open door of the trailer he shared with Daryl, looking outside to watch his baby brother. Merle was starting to worry about him. Daryl wasn't himself at all. He used to be quiet and “sweet”,... now, he was still quiet, but very aggressive and his temper, which had always been short, was now equipped with a hair-trigger. He'd even gotten into trouble at work, after getting into it with a store manager. It had been a minor thing, something about the packaging having been slightly damaged, which hadn't even been Daryl's fault, because things like that happened almost every day, but Daryl had blown up when the manager had wanted to check the goods before accepting them and he had even started pushing the guy around until other people had intervened and had broken up the fight. Daryl had received a written warning from his employer, more or less telling him to behave or they would have to let him go. He didn't even care. There wasn't much he cared about anymore. Not even his brand new bike. 

 

He'd had it for two weeks, but he hadn't taken a ride on it once. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd had plans for this bike. His first ride, he'd wanted to take with Sammy. Taking her out of town to a nice place to have his first picnic. He still wanted that, but he couldn't have it, so he didn't feel like riding at all. Instead, he just kept staring at it. 

 

_ This shit's killin' him... He's a fuckin' robot now...  _ Ever since Daryl had ended it with Sam almost a month ago, day after day, Merle had had to watch Daryl get up, go to work, come back, grab a beer, go outside, sit on the ground and stare at his new bike for hours, before going to bed. As soon as someone dared to speak to him, Daryl started lashing out left and right, verbally, as well as physically. Merle might have made fun of the relationship and had spun his conspiracy theories, but of course, deep down, he had known all along that Sam wasn't after money. They had both been piss poor when the woman had started at the diner. He just liked to hear himself talk and ruffle some feathers. Okay, for a second he had been suspicious, when he'd remembered that she had been a stripper, but it had become obvious pretty quickly, that she cared a great deal for his baby brother. Having Sam in his life had been good for Daryl. She had taught him to be more confident and to stand up straighter. She had made a man out of him, which was something Merle had never been able to do. Or maybe she hadn't made a man out of him... Neither Sam nor Daryl had answered his questions about the break-up, so Merle had gotten his answers from Sam's boss Patty and the other waitress, Becky. Apparently Daryl had chickened out when things had gotten just a liiiittle bit tough, like some fucking coward. Merle shook his head in disgust at the mere thought of it. He wasn't much for relationships, but he lived by the code “All or Nothing”. It's what he had tried to teach Daryl as well, but from the looks of it, Daryl was not living by that code. Merle would have understood Daryl ending it, if it would have been a little hook-up, that was no longer convenient because of the arrival of the kid, but that wasn't the case here. He had promised Sam something, and then he hadn't even tried, according to Becky, for utterly moronic reasons. Instead he had chosen to abandon both, Bambi and the kid, and now he had turned into a brooding jerk. Merle had to admit that he had liked it better when Daryl had been happy for once. He'd been more fun to be around... not so tightly wound all the time, actually able to take a joke... This, right now, just sucked for everybody involved, but unfortunately it seemed like Daryl wanted to make this break-up stick.

 

“I'm headin' out.” Merle called out towards Daryl when he left the trailer. 

 

“Fuck off.” Daryl grumbled while he guided his beer bottle to his mouth.

 

“Better snap out of it, Daryl, or I'm gon' whip your ass. Can promise ya that.” Merle snarled while he got on his own bike and drove off.  _ Sick and tired of this shit. _

* * *

**Another week later**

 

“Shhhh, honey.... I know... it sucks, but I'm sure it won't be much longer.” Sam tried to calm down River, who was starting to get antsy and fussy. “It's been two and a half hours, it  ** can't  ** possibly take much longer.” she muttered more to herself when she let River slide from her lap to the floor, just to have him trying to get back on her lap again, right away. “River, please. Look, the train set... don't you wanna play with it some more? Gosh honey, please decide what you want. This up and down is driving me nuts.”

 

Sam would feel bad for being a bit impatient with him later, but right now, she was just done. This was the third doctor's visit with River in just one week. She knew it was necessary and she would never complain about having to do something for her son, but spending two and a half hours in a waiting room with an impatient toddler was unacceptable, just as much as it was nerve-wracking and patience-killing. There were much, much better things they could be doing with their little free time together, than spending it in a waiting-room. Especially today, when she had to work a late shift and had had to keep River home from daycare in order to be able to make it to this appointment. If it took much longer she would be late for work. No quality time with her son for her today.

 

Last week Sam had taken him to the pediatrician for his check-up. He was developing just like he should, his motor skills were better than those of most of the other kids she was seeing and he was great at figuring out a solution for small problems, but of course his speech was cause for concern. The doctor had told Sam to get River's eyes and ears checked, in order to rule out any problems. They had already had his eyes checked two days ago. Nothing wrong there, so today they were at the ENT to check his ears. 

 

“River Weber.” 

 

“Oh thank God.” Sam breathed and hoisted River into her arms to take him into the exam room. She had to carry him, because by now River had figured out what doctor's visits meant for him and he was very reluctant to go into an exam room. 

 

Sam shook the doctor's hand, took a seat in the special chair with River on her lap and explained why they were here. When it was time to look into his ears and mouth, the doctor had to call in not one, but two assistants to hold the struggling toddler still. He was really strong and was fighting against the grip Sam had on him. She wasn't able to restrain him by himself, so she had to keep his arms still, while one assistant held his legs, so he wouldn't wriggle off her lap, and the other assistant held his head still as best as she could, while the doctor examined him. 

 

“Hm.” The female doctor grunted.

 

“That's not what I wanna hear.” Sam pressed out while they still fought to keep River still, because the ENT wasn't done yet. 

 

The doctor didn't reply, instead she pushed something into River's ears, that looked like an ear thermometer, but it was attached to a big machine by a thick gray hose, so Sam figured, that it wasn't a thermometer. 

 

“Your son is deaf.” The doctor stated, almost casually.

 

Sam almost dropped River in shock. “What?!?!”

 

“Well, not really deaf, but he can hear only very little. He has fluid behind his eardrums. Basically, he is hearing like he has a huge cotton ball stuck in his ear... or both his ears, in this case. I'm sure that's why he is not speaking. If you can't hear, you can't learn any words. Don't worry, it's an easy fix.”

 

Sam released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. “Jesus... you couldn't have said that first?” Then, she slowly came out of her shock and her mind started racing. “But hold on... Are you sure? He understands everything I tell him. When I ask him to point out things in his book, he's right every time. When I call out for him, he doesn't even hesitate. Oh, and when I take a shower, he comes running as soon as I shut off the water, and hands me a towel. How can he do that if he's nearly deaf?”

 

“You would be surprised... Kids are very smart. They adapt quickly. They develop their own little mechanisms. He was probably anticipating a lot of what you were about to ask. And he can hear a little bit, like I said, like hearing through cotton, so instead of learning words, he learned the vague sounds. Also, don't underestimate the mother-child bond. 

 

“How do we fix it? Do I need to give him ear drops or something?”

 

“I said it was an easy fix, but not  ** that  ** easy.” The doctor had the audacity to laugh. Sure, it was an everyday thing for her, but Sam was still stunned. “He will need ear tubes so the fluid can drain. It requires surgery, b-”

 

“ ** Surgery??? ** ” Sam interrupted the doctor when she got yet another shock.

 

“Yes, surgery. It's a minor and routine procedure, though. Nothing to worry about.”

 

“Will he have to go under anesthesia for that?”

 

“Of course.” The doctor huffed.

 

“Well then it is something to worry about.”

 

“Relax. Most kids are fine right after and act like nothing happened.”

 

“Most, but not all of them.” Sam swallowed hard. 

 

“I'm sure he'll be fine. That's it from me, please go back to reception and Nancy will give you an appointment for the surgery. See you soon.” 

 

And just like that, they were ushered out of the exam room. River was happy and quickly ran towards the reception area to put on his jacket, while Sam followed him in a daze. She helped River put his jacket and his hat on, before they left the building with a surgery scheduled in 10 days from now. Sam was shaking while she drove them home, where she handed River over to Becky and quickly told her what was going on, before she had to jog to the diner to start her shift. She was barely functioning. She was still suffering from Daryl breaking up with her, like it had happened only yesterday, and now on top of it all, her baby had to have surgery. Minor surgery, but it was surgery and she had no idea how to get through the next 10 days and the procedure itself. 

 

When she got home, River was already fast asleep. She talked to Becky for a bit, then she tiptoed into River's room and gave him a kiss, before she fell into her own bed and started crying and howling into a pillow like a wounded animal. She missed Daryl so unbelievably much, that it hurt her physically. The only thing that kept her going was River. If he wouldn't be here, she might have just died by now. 

 

Merle had been at the diner, and somehow, that always made her longing even worse. Ever so charming, he'd commented on how shitty she looked. Sam hadn't even had the energy to roll her eyes. He had been right anyway. She looked horrible. Pale and tired with big purple rings under her eyes. She was forcing herself to eat and stay healthy for her son, but her heartache, coupled with the natural stress of being a single mother, still left its traces. She hoped that she would feel better soon, but she knew that it would take a while longer until she would get there.

* * *

Sam bit her lip hard, so she wouldn't cry, when the nurse lifted River out of her arms, to take him into the operating room. They had given him meds to calm him down half an hour ago, so at least he was a little high and completely relaxed and even laughing, instead of crying. Still, Sam was a mess on the inside. Anesthesia always came with a lot of risks. It was probably a nightmare for every parent when their kids had to have surgery, no matter how minor the procedure was. She also felt utterly helpless... and alone. The waiting area was full of mothers and fathers, who were supporting and distracting each other, she was the only one who had to wait all by herself. Her mother Liz (who'd been apologetic beyond belief for not listening to Sam and have River's speech problem checked out sooner), hadn't been able to make the trip, because she was sick with the flu, and Becky had to work, so it was just her.

 

She wasn't able to take sitting in that waiting room by herself for very long. She got up from her chair and walked over to a quieter area, where she pulled out her phone to check the time. She didn't know what came over her, but today, she simply wasn't able to push her phone back into her pants pocket. She was worried, she was hurting, and she felt lonely and helpless... She needed to hear his voice. Just for a second. She needed it like she needed air to breathe. She had to try, she just had to, so she opened her contacts and clicked on his name, and waited with baited breath while it rang. 

 

_ Voicemail.  _ Tears of disappointment stung her eyes, but she made use of the opportunity. She just needed to do something while she waited for her son to come out of the OR. “H-hi... I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to call... I... I'm waiting for River... he's in surgery right now. It's the weirdest feeling to be out here while he's in there... not being able to do anything but wait...” Sam sniffed as a couple of tears finally made their way out of her eyes. “It's his ears. That's why he's not talking. He wasn't able to hear. Might be why he's a little different than other kids in some ways. They're fixing it by putting some kind of tubes in his ears... It's not a big thing, they say, and it probably isn't, but I worry, you know? Anesthesia is no joke... I can't stop thinking about all the things that can go wrong.” Sam hiccuped and thought back to the waiting room and all the (presumably) married couples waiting together. That could have been her and Daryl, but he made her do this alone. And just like that, all the rage at him, she had suppressed, because she had tried to take the high road, came bubbling up to the surface with a vengeance. “WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?” Sam yelled into her phone. “Oh, I know, because you're an idiot. Why are you doing this to us? Do you know how much I'm still hurting? But you don't care, do you? Did I really mean that little to you, that you couldn't even try? You owed me that much, Daryl. You promised! We had something good. Something like that happens once in a lifetime and you threw it away, because you got scared? And don't you tell me you aren't scared of anything. You are scared of this. A try. That was all I was asking, but you didn't even have it in you to do that? Fuck you! It's not right, Daryl. It's not fair. Not to me and not to yourself. You kept saying that  ** you  ** can't do it. Did you think you would have to do it alone? We would have managed things together. I would have been there, we would have helped each other. You wouldn't even see him that much anyway during the week. He still sleeps when you go to work and he goes to bed, like half an hour after you're home... Didn't know that, did you? Yeah, because you didn't think it was worth trying... Fuck, Daryl...” Sam breathed deeply as her anger dissipated and was replaced by sadness again. “I fucking miss you so much... I'm dying here. I just called because I needed to hear your voice, instead I'm exploding on your voicemail... I might be crazy, because you still mean the world to me... nothing changed there... that's why it's so hard and it's not getting easier...Shit, I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. Forgive me.” She quickly hung up when she realized how big a fool she was making of herself, and put her phone away.  _ Shit, what am I doing? That's not helping anyone. _

 

Sam went to the bathroom to splash water in her face, so she wouldn't look like a total mess on the outside as well. She had barely started walking the hallway, when one of the nurses called for her. 

 

“Oh my God, is he okay?” she asked as her stomach dropped to the floor.

 

“Yes, everything went fine.”

 

“He's done already?”

 

“Yes. Didn't they tell you that it only takes about 20 minutes?” The nurse was smiling and gently rubbing Sam's arm when she realized how frazzled the young mother's nerves were. 

 

“No... and I forgot to ask.”

 

“Follow me.” She took Sam to the room where River was still sleeping. 

 

The sight punched her in the gut. He looked so helpless. He was pale, he had that breathing tube thingy in his nose, he was still hooked up to a heart monitor and he still had an IV stuck in his ankle. The nurse had said that he was okay, but Sam knew that she would never forget seeing him like this. He was her little baby and little babies weren't supposed to be sick and have breathing tubes and heart monitors. In that moment she felt for all the parents whose kids were really, really sick, and who were dealing with this on a daily basis. Those people were incredibly strong, she didn't know if she would be able to bear it.

 

“Please don't touch him. He needs to sleep it off and wake up on his own. Just sit here and be there. Press that button when he wakes up or you feel like something is not right.” The nurse instructed Sam, before she left. 

 

It was the longest 30 minutes of Sam's life, while she waited for River to wake up. She got the shock of her life, when he suddenly shot up, straight into a standing position. It happened in the blink of an eye, one second he was still fast asleep and the next second, he was literally standing in his bed, looking around the room with wide eyes. 

 

“Oh baby... hi... careful.” Sam said, her hands immediately going to his waist to steady him, after she had pushed the button for the nurse. River's head snapped to the side and he looked at her with a stunned expression on his face. “Oh, that's right... you're hearing my voice for the first time in a while, huh?” A smile found its way to Sam's face. She was still a bit shaky, just like him, but he seemed to be okay so far. River's bottom lip and his chin started quivering a moment later and he released a little cry. Sam lifted him into her arms, thinking that it would be okay, now that he was awake, and cradled him, while he cuddled himself into his mother's embrace. “It's okay, sweetie. Do you feel okay? Bit sleepy still, hm?”

 

“Daaaaaa, daaaaaa!” he babbled in his usual baby language and pointed at his drinking bottle, that was sticking out of Sam's bag on the ground. 

 

“Oh, I don't know if you're allowed to drink anything yet, sweetie.” Sam told him, and River was just about to start crying, when the door opened and distracted him. The nurse came in, followed by the doctor who had operated on him. 

 

“Ah, someone's all rested already, yes?” The doctor smiled warmly at his patient, and weirdly enough, it put Sam at ease. 

 

“He's thirsty. When can he have something to drink?”

 

“Right away. It's good for him to drink and eat. Feel free to give him what he wants.” The doctor said, and Sam dug the bottle and River's little lunch box out of her bag. She sat River down in the bed and handed him the items and he greedily took a couple of sips of water, and opened his lunch box to snack on pretzels with one hand, and on cheese cubes with the other hand. The doctor laughed. “Well, that looks very good. Now, the surgery went well, but I have to ask, did you really not notice that he wasn't hearing well?”

 

“No, not at all. He always reacted immediately when I talked to him. Even when he was standing at the other end of the room with his back facing me. Even when I whispered, he seemed to be hearing just fine.”

 

“Amazing.” The doctor shook his head in astonishment. “He must have had that fluid behind his ear drums for a long time. Usually that fluid is pretty light in color, but his was nearly black and it wasn't fluid anymore. It was like chewing gum. I had some trouble removing all of it, but I did it. I think his hearing loss was quite substantial, so don't wonder when you'll find him covering his ears with his hands a lot. It's a whole new world for him now.”

 

“I'll say. What's the time frame now? When should he be able to say how many words?”

 

“Forget about all that for now. The most important thing is that you don't put pressure on him or on yourself. Don't sit in front of him and go 'say this, say that...'. He will learn just like any other child out there, only a little bit later than most. From experience I can say that they catch up pretty quickly. Some more than others, but in about 2-3 months you should be able to notice a difference. It would be good to keep a list of all the words he's starting to say during the time until his next check-up in 3 months, just to have a number for the pediatrician, so he or she can decide whether or not they want to recommend speech therapy. It's possible, though, that River will start trying to say words within just a couple of days. Oh and about that list... Even if River doesn't pronounce a word right, it still counts. For example if he says 'banda' instead of 'banana'. And if he consistently uses a fantasy word to describe something, that counts as a word as well. For example if he says 'lala' and points at a cow, if he calls a cow 'lala' every single time, then that's a word and it will evolve into 'cow' in time. You're laughing, but I'm explaining this in detail, because we get that question a lot. Parents are never sure what exactly counts as a word and then the numbers are wrong at the check-up, you know?”

 

“I'm glad you're going into so much detail. I probably would have wondered about that as well.” Sam chuckled. “Anything I have to look out for from now on?”

 

“Yes. Don't let any water get into his ears, so you have to be very careful when you're giving him a bath and washing his hair. Use ear plugs or cotton to prevent water from getting into the ears. Also watch out when he's on a playground and playing with dirt or sand. Nothing should get into those ears. Other than that, he can live a perfectly normal life. Take it easy in the next couple of days. No wild playing around, so no daycare, alright?”

 

“Don't worry. He's not a 'wild player'. He's actually scared of the other kids and doesn't play with them. Okay, not super scared; he's alright with them running around and playing next to him, but as soon as one of the kids tries to interact with him directly, he takes like ten steps back and gives them a scowl that totally puts the scowl of my ex-partner to shame.” Sam laughed quietly with a shake of her head when she thought about how River's scowl looked even grumpier than Daryl's. “Could that be related to the not hearing thing?”

 

“It might be, but then again, maybe not. Only time will tell.”

 

“Alright. Thank you, doctor.” Sam smiled and shook his hand. 

 

“Glad to be of help. Alright, he's getting some color back. He's eating, drinking, seems happy. His vitals are good, I think we can remove the IV, and in another half an hour you can go home.”

 

“Seriously? This fast?”

 

“Kids bounce back incredibly fast. Amazing, isn't it? Good luck to you both.” The doctor affectionately stroked River's cheek, before he shook Sam's hand once more and left. River had only flinched a teeny bit. He was getting better with strangers, even with men. It was great, but at the same time, it made Sam's heart seize painfully in her chest. River would have gotten used to Daryl quickly, of that she was sure by now. 

 

An hour later, they were already back home. Sam had the day off of course, and it wasn't even noon, so they had the whole day to themselves. She had ordered a huge box full of new toys for River, which she put in front of him as soon as he was dressed in his comfortables. As soon as he saw the box and its contents, River seemed like he had already forgotten about the surgery. He started digging through the box with glee, while Sam fixed him a big bottle of chocolate milk, which she brought over into the living room with a big plate full of cookies, gummy bears and muffins. River was getting spoiled today, so she put on “Cars”, his favorite movie, and sat down on the couch, watching him play with his new fire truck, munching cookies and slurping his chocolate milk. She was happy and relieved that River had taken the whole thing like a champ, so she tried to do it like him and put it past her, but no matter what she tried to get herself to relax, she simply wasn't able to. She felt nervous, anxious and restless. Like she was about to crawl out of her skin. It unnerved her to no end, but nothing seemed to help. 

 

In the afternoon she wanted to make herself a sandwich, after she hadn't been able to force anything down her gullet during lunch, only to discover that the bread had two small greenish spots. “Guess a little walk to the store won't hurt us.” She murmured with a deep sigh, because she actually didn't feel like leaving the house. However, having no bread around was no option, because River pretty much chose to live off of pasta, pretzels and cheese sandwiches these days. Sam regularly tried to smuggle some fresh fruit in there. Every time she tried he made a face like she was trying to poison him. It was cute and making her want to pull her hair out at the same time.

 

Sam quickly checked what else they might need and then they were off to the store. Having River in the stroller allowed her to let her mind drift a little. As usual, it drifted to Daryl and how much she still missed him. It was getting old, even to herself, but it still didn't stop her brain from conjuring up thoughts and images of Daryl. She was strolling through the aisles on autopilot while she was putting items into the tote bag, which she had hung over the handlebars of the stroller. She had no idea how long she had been standing there, but when she came out of her thoughts, she was standing in front of a shelf and was staring at the various wine bottles.  _ That would be pretty much the only thing to help me relax... It always did the job just fine. Good God, I so need a meeting.  _

 

She took a deep breath , turned back towards the stroller and left the aisle with determination in her step. It would be easy to fall back into bad habits, it was very tempting, because she just wanted to forget, but she wasn't fool enough to risk losing her son again. Nothing was worth losing him for (possibly) forever. She also wouldn't give her mother the satisfaction. Liz was just waiting for a relapse to happen. It would be one of the biggest triumphs of her life to stay sober and show her mother that she was perfectly able to handle all kinds of shit, that was being thrown her way from now on, without the crutch of alcohol. Tomorrow morning her and Patty had their mandatory meeting, and Sam couldn't have been happier about not having to wait any longer. She could have gone tonight, but she didn't feel okay with pawning River off to somebody else on the day of his surgery, so she would fight through it and wait until morning.

* * *

Daryl sat on the ground in front of his bike again, like he had done every night in the past month. His knees were pulled up to his chest and he was pinching the bridge of his nose while he listened to the voicemail Sam had left, for the fourth time. Hearing her voice was healing his soul, but hearing how upset she was and how worried, that tore his soul right to shreds again. He winced, every time she yelled into the phone and he heard her voice break. He was responsible for her pain and he deserved every bit of her anger. He had fucked up. Majorly... and that was the understatement of the fucking year. It had been a shock to hear that her little boy was in surgery, and if he was feeling sick about it, he couldn't even imagine what Sam must be feeling. She wanted him to be there, and he wished he would have been... But he was an asshole and after what he had done, he no longer deserved to be with her, even if she would take him back.

 

“Hey, Dummy. You're home early... Got your ass fired?” Merle came walking by with a big brown paper bag in his arms. He'd gotten some things from the store with a buddy of his, who'd dropped him off up by the road just now. Daryl made no move to acknowledge his older brother, but Merle had another trick up his sleeve to get Daryl's attention. “Saw your girl just now.”  _ Ha, knew it.  _ Merle chuckled to himself when Daryl suddenly looked up at him. 

 

“Ain't my girl no more.”

 

“Right. Prolly for the better. Looks like she's gon' take the train back to Boozeville pretty soon.”

 

“What?” Daryl's head snapped up sharply at that. “The hell you talkin' about?”

 

“Saw her at the store, staring at a bottle with more longing in those pretty eyes of hers, than a dog that's looking at a treat bag.”

 

_ Shit Sammy, no... Didn't let ya go just so you could fuck your life up again. Nah, can't be. She wouldn't.  _ “You're lying.”

 

Merle scoffed at that. “Why the hell would I lie about that? I'm tellin' ya, the girl was damn near salivatin'. Funny, ain't it?”

 

“What is?”

 

“If you would be more of a man, you probably would be able to prevent her from drinking again. Too bad you're such a pussy.” Merle sneered at him, but on the inside he was rubbing his hands gleefully when he noticed Daryl bristling. Merle had had enough. It was time to kick Daryl's ass into gear. 

 

“Shut up, Merle. You don't know nothin' about it.” Daryl grumbled, while his fists already started clenching in anger. 

 

“Oh, but I know  ** everything  ** about it, baby brother. I know what a pathetic little coward ya are.”

 

That made Daryl get up from the ground, his eyes narrowed into slits. “I'm warnin' ya! Shut the fuck up.”

 

“Truth hurts, don't it, Daryl?” Merle put his shopping bag aside and rolled his shoulders. “Just like  ** him ** , huh?”

 

“I ain't nothin' like him. Didn't beat on Sammy and her kid.”

 

“Maybe not physically...” Merle shrugged casually, making Daryl clench his fists harder. “Bein' a coward, abandoning your girl at the first sign of a little trouble, bein' aggressive towards anyone who dares to come near... Sittin' here, mopin' like a little bitch, feelin' sorry for yourself... Yeah, don't sound like our daddy at all.”

 

Daryl came closer, going chest to chest with Merle. “Stop.” he growled menacingly low.

 

“No, you stop, baby brother.” Merle told him and gave him a bump. “What's it feel like? To drive a lady to the bottle, huh? Oh, am I makin' ya mad? You wanna fight me? Yeah, you been wantin' to fight someone for weeks. Come on, then. Fight me. Make me shut up. You know I'll just go on and on and on, if you don't stop me, Daryl.” Merle grinned and kept bumping his chests against Daryl, harder and harder, making him walk backwards, almost walking into his bike. “Come on, Darylina. Hit me and get it out of your system. Come on, little pussy. Thought ya were the noble one and now you're runnin' away from a little responsibility? Makin' the girl suffer and drink again, just cause you-” Merle's sentence was interrupted by Daryl's fist connecting with the side of his brother's mouth. 

 

Merle staggered back as the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. The punch had been impressively hard, but Merle wasn't too surprised. Daryl had a lot of pent-up anger and frustration to get rid of. Merle spat some blood on the ground and grinned at his little brother, but before he had the chance to let out another smart ass remark, Daryl attacked. He charged at Merle, going low and hitting him in the stomach with his shoulder, while he pushed him back against the trailer. Merle slammed his elbow into Daryl's kidney, making his younger brother fall to his knees. Before Daryl was able to get back up, Merle tackled him fully to the ground and delivered a couple of hard punches to Daryl's face, while Daryl tried to choke him and push him off. Merle let Daryl get the upper hand, and they rolled around in the dirt, until Daryl was on top and punching Merle as hard as he could, until Merle had enough and punched Daryl in the gut, making his younger brother sputter and stop. Merle used the opportunity and got Daryl back under him, delivering another punch, but this time, Daryl didn't fight it anymore. In a way, getting his ass beat by Merle felt good. He was getting the punishment he deserved. 

 

Merle noticed right away that Daryl was exactly where he had wanted him. He delivered two more punches, but with way less force than before, then he grabbed Daryl by his shirt and shook him hard. “Don't be like him, ya hear? Get off your ass and do somethin'. You're killing the both of ya, you fucking moron. Stop bein' an idiot, or there's more where this came from.” Merle was breathing hard while he stared at Daryl, searching his face for a sign that his brother had understood him. A faint nod was his sign, and he clapped his hand down on Daryl's shoulder and shook him again, this time more brotherly again, before he got up and walked inside to tend to his bruises.

 

Daryl remained on the ground, bruised and bleeding from his lip and his right eyebrow, trying to get his breathing under control while his face and body throbbed painfully. He thought that it almost felt soothing, while his eyes closed and his world went black for a little while.

* * *

Sam was relieved when she had been able to put River down for the night. She was glad that the day was over, and she hoped that she would be able to sleep. She doubted it though. She was restless and nervous about whether or not he really would be okay. She didn't even realize that she was wringing her hands again for the umpteenth time that day, when she came out of the bathroom, after she had changed into her sleep shorts and one of Daryl's t-shirts, that had still been in her closet from the times he had spent the night. He had never bothered to come over and get his things, but Sam didn't really mind. Even though the shirt no longer smelled like him, she still liked wearing it. In a way, it was a little source of comfort to be wrapped in the oversized garment. It was like she was able to feel his large frame embracing her for a moment, whenever she wore it and noticed how loose it was on her. 

 

When she heard a knock on the front door, she quickly grabbed her money so she could pay the pizza guy. She didn't feel very hungry, but she still felt like having some comfort food, so she had ordered herself a peperoni pizza with extra cheese. She had only nibbled on a piece of bread during dinner with River, pretending to eat, so he would eat and have something in his stomach before he would go to sleep. She tossed the phone on the couch while she passed it, so she would be able to spend her evening eating pizza and talking to Becky on the phone, then she opened the door to accept her pizza. “Hey, that was fast...” She smiled at the man standing on the other side of the door. Suddenly her money dropped to the floor, just like her jaw, and she swallowed hard. “Daryl...”

* * *

** Dun, dun, duuuun... lol. **

 

** Thank you for reading! And thank you for the kudos and comments.  
**

 

** Okay, I'm sorry some of you really cried during the last chapter, but I LOVED the response to it. Thank you so so so so much. It seriously made my day to read your reactions.  **

 

** So? Did Merle manage to (quite literally) kick some sense into Daryl? **

 

** Sorry for the, maybe, too extensive scene with River and his surgery, but that's what I've been going through with my little one and I needed to get it out of my head. I still see him laying there like that all the time, when I close my eyes at night, and I hope writing about it will be therapeutic and make me work through it better.  **

 

** As usual, let me know what you think. **


	17. Chapter 17

_Sammy..._ Her name was his last coherent thought, before his mind went blank. His heart skipped a beat inside his chest, the moths in his stomach woke up from their forced, and way too long, hiatus and started batting their wings again, while the rest of his body started to tingle, from the tip of his toes, up his legs, into his torso, down his arms and into his fingertips, making them itch to hold his girl again,... to touch her soft skin and make her shiver. Warmth filled him, when all the feelings for her he had tried to stuff down, came rushing back to the surface and slowly made him come alive again. On the inside he felt like the sun had come up for the first time, after a strenuous, long and dark winter, but on the outside, he looked like a lost puppy, who was scared of facing his owner after having been bad.

 

Sam couldn't have been more surprised to see him standing there. She was in shock, but her body still reacted to him as strongly as ever. Her heart started beating faster and the butterflies in her own stomach were running amok. She felt happiness, as well as confusion as she looked at him.  _Why is he here? Is he even here?_ For a second she wondered if her heartache was causing her to hallucinate, but then again, why would she imagine him with his beautiful features marred by a split lip, a bruised, black and purple left eye and two small wounds by his right eyebrow?

 

“What ha-” Sam had been trying to ask what had happened to him, after they had stood there staring at each other speechlessly, for what must have been minutes. She didn't get the chance to finish her question, though. A startled sound left her mouth when Daryl's lips suddenly pressed against her own, hard and desperate, just like their last kiss at the park, teeth gnashing, the split in his lip stinging, but neither of them cared.

 

After her initial shock wore off, Sam wrapped her arms around Daryl's neck, and as soon as he felt her kissing him back, his hands went to her hips, yanking her against his solid form with a quick tug, before he wrapped his arms around her as tightly as possible without suffocating her. Not missing a beat, he used her gasp to slide his tongue between her lips, moaning low in his throat, when Sam's tongue met his and they started swirling and flicking and gliding. Daryl kept clutching at her, while they kissed wildly, not able to get enough of her. He needed her more than he needed oxygen or the sun, and he had no idea how he'd been able to survive the past close to 6 weeks.

 

Neither of them was thinking, they were just feeling and letting the familiar sensations wash over them, both of them insanely happy to be able to feel them again. Suddenly, they were moving. Daryl walked her backwards, not once breaking their passionate kiss, while he yanked at her sleep shorts. He had them down to her knees, by the time the back of her knees hit the sofa. He pushed her down on it, only following her down until she was halfway propped up in the corner between armrest and backrest. That's when he broke the kiss for the first time. Sam looked at him with wide eyes, her breath coming out in shallow pants while she watched him drop to his knees in front of the couch. He impatiently tore the shorts off of her completely and tossed them behind him. He grasped her calves, parting her legs while he guided them to rest over his shoulders, then he leaned in.

 

Sam cried out when he lapped at her. Broad strokes from bottom to top with his hot, wet tongue, made her thighs quiver and her toes twitch involuntarily. “Oh God, Daryl...” She shivered and her nipples hardened painfully, when he laved her lips, outer ones first, then the inner lips, ending with a nice suck, before he tongued at her opening, greedily gathering her taste on his taste buds. His hands reached around her thighs, tugging her closer and fully pressing his face up against her, before he slipped his hands under her shirt and covered her breasts with them. He squeezed and massaged and toyed with the erect nipples, making her moan and buck against his face, while he had his lips wrapped around her clit, suckling skillfully at her, his nose buried in the small patch of hair, that covered her mound, inhaling her divine scent. He felt her warm skin against his fingertips, her sounds were in his ears, her scent filled his nostrils and her taste was on his tongue, which was exactly what he needed to feel whole again. 

 

Sam moaned none too quietly. What he was doing felt so good that she wanted to cry, but she still wanted him to stop, because she needed him inside of her. “Daryl... baby...” She tried to get his attention while she tugged on his hair, but he just grunted and shook his head a little, which had her yelping at the unexpected burst of pleasure. “Oh good motherfucking God.” Sam keened and let him keep going for another moment, then she tried again and cradled his face in her hands and tried to pull him up. “Come here, please.”

 

This time, Daryl listened. Sam let her legs fall off his shoulders and replaced them with her hands. She dug her fingers into the black cotton of the shirt he was wearing, clutching and pulling at him, signaling for him to get on the couch with her. She got her wish. Daryl knelt between her legs again, but this time on the couch. His mouth was on hers within the blink of an eye, his tongue teasing the tip of Sammy's, sharing her own taste with her, while she frantically fumbled around with his belt. Daryl helped her out and unbuckled his belt with quick, jerky motions. As soon as he had it open, he tore open his fly, while Sam was already tugging his pants down over his butt. They both reached for his pulsing erection, and Sam bit her lip with a grin when she heard him grunt as her fingers were the first to wrap around his heavy cock.

 

Daryl placed is own hand on top of hers and together, they guided his hard length into her. Sam held her breath, when she felt him stretch her, reveling fully in the sensation she hadn't felt in too long. Daryl frantically kissed along her jaw, until his face was nestled in the crook of her neck. Sam rubbed her hands down his shirt-covered back and let them slip onto his bare ass, which she squeezed and pushed, urging him to move. “Oh fffuuuck... yes... oh baby.” she breathed directly into his ear, making him shiver with lust and push himself inside of her as deeply as he could go in this position.

 

Their coupling was wild and frenzied. The rhythm he set was not a fluid one. It wasn't a rhythm at all, actually, but once again, neither of them cared. They just needed to be together like this right now, no matter how. He rutted against her haphazardly, pushing his cock into her wet pussy in a random pattern, both of them releasing a primal grunt, every time he plowed himself into her. He didn't even speed up when he was close to orgasm, so Sam was slightly surprised when she suddenly felt the telltale spasms inside of her, accompanied by Daryl releasing a strained groan, followed by a shuddering breath against her neck.

 

When he slumped against her, Sam gently kissed the outer shell of his ear, that was peeking out from between his dark strands, while her fingers drew invisible patterns on his naked ass cheeks, raising goosebumps in the process. Their breathing slowed as they calmed down and it got eerily quiet. She kept caressing him gently, until a sound startled her. It was a sob. Her first instinct was to go look for River, but then she felt Daryl shaking and she realized, that the sob had come from him.

 

“Baby...” she murmured gently and kissed his ear again, while Daryl pressed his lips against her neck, trying to stifle the whimpers and the sobs, that were coming out of his mouth, without him being able to control it. It just came over him and he was unable to stop it from happening. His large frame shook, while a couple of tears ran down his face, wetting Sam's skin as well. Her heart broke all over again, but she figured that he had probably stuffed everything down for the past one and a half months, and now it just needed to get out. Sam held him, stroking his hair and his back, quietly offering comfort, while she let him release his pent-up emotions.

 

He started quieting down again pretty quickly, but he didn't dare show his face yet, so he kept nuzzling her neck a little. Sam shivered when she suddenly felt a cool breeze against her feet. She frowned and looked around, and her eyes widened when she noticed where the breeze came from. “Oh God... the front door is still open.” She laughed while she gently pushed Daryl off of her. “And I ordered a pizza...“ She got up from the couch, letting his t-shirt fall down over her ass to cover herself as she went over to the door. “Oh shit... well, guess the guy got a bit of a show.” Sam actually blushed a little when she noticed that the money she had dropped, was gone and the pizza was on the porch right outside the door. “I'll never order from that place again.”

 

Daryl didn't share her amusement. He had pulled his pants up and now sat on the couch, looking like a guilty puppy again. Sam sighed, sobering up a little, and put the pizza on the coffee table. “I'll be right back.” She said with a little smile, then she grabbed her shorts and made her way to the bathroom, to wash away the traces of their passion, which was currently running down her thigh. Once she was ready, she checked up on River, but the toddler was sleeping peacefully, and she quietly closed the door again.

 

Sam dropped on the couch next to Daryl and opened the pizza carton. “Help yourself, if you're hungry.” She took a slice and dug in with renewed hunger, while Daryl kept just sitting there. “Why are you here?” She eventually asked when he kept quiet.

 

“To say sorry.” Daryl mumbled. “Was a damn idiot.”

 

“Don't forget major jerk.”

 

Daryl winced, but nodded. “Yeah...”

 

“What happened?” Sam pointed towards his face.

 

“Got into a fight with Merle.”

 

“What? Shit! What did he do this time?”

 

“Nah, wasn't him. Was me.” Daryl admitted and sighed. “Sammy... I... “ he struggled to find the right words. He hadn't thought about what to say before he'd come over, which was biting him in the ass right now.

 

He didn't have to worry, though. Sam knew that he wasn't much of a talker and gave him the time he needed to come out with it. “Thought I wouldn't be able to share ya with him... your boy, I mean. Thought he shouldn't have to share ya with me, neither, you know?”

 

“It's not about sharing, Daryl. The two of you are not fighting over custody of me. Tell me, I'm curious, what exactly did you picture in your head about the whole situation with River, that made you run for the hills within a hot minute?”

 

Daryl shrugged. “Dunno... I was selfish, I guess. Wanted ya all to myself. You know how I grew up. You were the first good thing I had... Wasn't ready to give that up. Thought I was never gonna get you alone no more. That you'd drop into bed and fall asleep at night.... Fuck, that's damn silly,... see that now... but then... Thought it would made me hate the boy, so I ended it before it came to that, 'cause he don't deserve that.”

 

“Oh Daryl...” Sam shook her head with a sigh. “I wish you would have just talked to me. That's actually on both of us. We should have talked about everything **before** River came back, but we ignored everything and just soaked up the time we had together, and then shit hit the fan. I totally understood that you were overwhelmed... So was I, at first. But I thought we were gonna do it together, because you promised... and then out of the blue, you vanished...”

 

“Wasn't out of the blue. Been feeling like I don't belong since the first time we went to see him.”

 

“Daryl!” Sam nearly shouted in shock. “Are you kidding me? Why didn't you say anything?”

 

“Dunno.”

 

“Good God... So,... you just here to say sorry? Or goodbye for real? Or is there something else?”

 

“There is...” he swallowed hard. He hated putting himself out there, but he knew it was necessary. “Wanna be with ya. Both of ya. Wish I would have been there for y'all this mornin'... Don't get me wrong, I ain't here 'cause I feel bad for that... ain't here 'cause of my guilty conscience. Just wanna be with y'all. Nothin' can be worse than not havin' ya around at all. I was a damn fool to think it would be easier to let ya go...”

 

“Did it really take you six weeks to realize that?”

 

“Nah... realized that pretty much right away... but I was too much of a coward to come and see ya...”

 

“What made you change your mind today?”

 

“You. And Merle. He beat some sense into me. Needed that, I reckon.”

 

“Words really never work on you, do they?” Sam laughed lightly and gently pushed some hair out of his eyes, to take a closer look at his bruises. “You're gonna have that shiner for a while...”

 

“Ain't like I don't deserve it...” he let out a little laugh as well, before he looked at her shyly, biting his lip again. He still had no idea where she stood.

 

“I still want to be with you, too, Daryl. Personally, I think you would be a fantastic guy for River to be around... but there's one thing that you said, that stuck with me. You said you weren't a family man... That you think you can't be one. I wanted you to try, but circumstances have changed now.”

 

“You don't want me to try no more?” Daryl looked at her like a puppy that had gotten a beating and Sam was barely able to stand it.

 

“I want you to try, in a way... But actually, I need you to **know** that you can do it this time. I lost you once, I already know how fucking hard it is. If you try now and leave again after a day or a week or a month,... I don't know if I can take it. Literally. I think I might just absolutely crumble this time. I know that there is no guarantee. Nobody knows if this will last for all eternity, I am aware of that. There is always a chance that things turn to shit quickly, but this time it wouldn't be about trying. I need you to think about it and be confident in yourself and in your own abilities. You will be part of a family. I will rely on you. River will rely on you. He will love you. He might come to think of you as his father, Daryl. It's a big thing. I know how overwhelming that is and how much pressure it will put on you. Which is why I need you to be absolutely sure. Times will be a bit tougher than before, but it's not like we won't ever have time to ourselves. We have time together right now. He goes to bed pretty early. He is really good at occupying himself for quite a while. Sometimes he cuddles with me for a long, long time, just happy to be with me and watch a movie, just like you and I used to do. We can do it together, all three of us.”

 

“Not if he's scared of me.”

 

“Would you forget about that, please? He was overwhelmed. Yes, he is still a bit shy around men, but he hasn't cried around them since that first day. He just needs a little bit of time to warm up to you. You both need to give each other some time. And like I rambled when I called you earlier,... I'm there, too. I won't lock you two in a room until your best buddies. We'll get you there together. But you have to be sure that you really want it, Daryl.”

 

“I want it.”

 

“Take some time to think about it. We're not going anywhere.”

 

“Thought about it for six damn weeks, Sammy. Didn't do much else, but think about it. Hell, if I made it through six fucking weeks without ya, I can handle everything.” He said with a hesitant, small smile.

 

Sam laughed out loud at that. “Oh yeah, I hear you. I've lost River, I've lost you, I'm a recovering alcoholic... Things can get pretty tough, but I feel like I can handle anything, even if sometimes I feel too weak to get through it. So, I get what you are saying.”

 

Daryl nodded and remembered something when she mentioned being a recovering alcoholic. “Merle said something earlier. He saw ya at the store? Lookin' at a bottle... Did ya...?”

 

“No! I did not relapse. I won't relapse. I'm not stupid enough to risk everything again. Like I said, things have been tough. The break-up was killing me and then the thing with River and his surgery, seeing him like that... I'm not able to relax and calm down. I can't sleep... I guess I was just reminiscing about how the wine made me relax, but I would never... no... Didn't even see Merle...”

 

“What's wrong with him? River? Somethin' about his ears?”

 

“Yeah. He had fluid behind his eardrums. The doctor said it had turned into chewing gum, so he had that stuff in there for a long time. He thinks that his hearing loss was pretty severe and the ENT said something about him having heard things like through huge cotton balls... Might explain why he's different. The pediatrician ruled out autism, but she said he might have social anxiety, but it's too early to tell. He's not playing with the kids at daycare, you know? He doesn't mind them being there, but if they look straight at him or talk to him, he scowls at them and runs.”

 

“He still scared of the swings and shit?”

 

“Yes. Might get better now, might not get better. All we can do is love him and show understanding for the situation. We should never ridicule his fears or tell him not to be such a baby, and all that stuff our parents used to tell **us**.”

 

“Right.” Daryl nodded his acknowledgment. “How's he doin'?”

 

“Really well. He acts like nothing happened. It's amazing. But I'm still worried that he might get a fever or some other side effect of the anesthesia. Or that the tubes will fall out right away and that he will need another surgery. That would be a nightmare. Seeing him in that room right after surgery, with the tubes and needles in his body and the heart monitor beeping and all that crap... I just wanted to climb into that bed and hug the hell out of him, but I wasn't allowed to touch him until he woke up.”

 

“I'm sorry. Should've been there.”

 

“Would have been nice.” Sam nodded and carefully grasped his wrist. She lifted his arm and put it around her shoulders and pressed herself against his side. “Are you absolutely sure that you want this, Daryl? I need you to be 110% sure.”

 

“I can do better than that. I'm 1000% sure. Gonna give it my best shot, Sammy. It's all I can do. Ain't gonna run, even if things get tough. Gonna work through it together this time.”

 

Sam took a moment to think about it, but she decided to trust him and give him the second, but last chance. “I believe you. I want this too much not to give it another try.”

 

She was literally able to see the weight that was being lifted off his shoulders at her words. His whole posture relaxed visibly. He lowered his head, this time way more hesitantly than when he'd been at the front door earlier, and stopped again before his mouth touched hers, leaving an inch of space between them. Sam smiled and put her hand to his cheek, and guided him to her lips the rest of the way.

 

As soon as their mouths were locked in a deep kiss, Sam shifted and climbed on his lap. Daryl wrapped his arms around her and leaned back comfortably, holding her pressed to his chest while they made out a little. “That's ma shirt.” he stated with a smirk when they broke the kiss for a moment.

 

“Yeah. I've been wearing it almost every night. Missed you so much...”

 

“Missed ya, too. Fucking sorry, Sammy.”

 

“I know. It's over now.” She told him and quickly shut him up before he apologize again.

 

Daryl's hands wandered down her back and slipped under his shirt she was wearing. He raked his blunt nails down her back while he tore his lips from hers and kissed along her jawline. “Did ya...” he started asking, while Sam tilted her head to the side to give him better access.

 

“Did I what?” Sam breathed when he didn't elaborate.

 

“You know...” his breath was hot against her ear. “... cum? Earlier?”

 

_ Oh damn, baby.  _ Sam moaned and shivered when he spoke the words into her ear. She loved when he surprised her with saying things like that. It was a big thing for him to do it. “No.”

 

“Owe you one, then.” His little smirk was evident in his low voice, but when his hand slipped to the front and towards her shorts, Sam gently took hold of his hand.

 

“I'm good. I just needed to feel you.” She smiled, but he frowned, so she tried to explain. “The past couple of weeks were long and exhausting, I'm still worried about River... I think you could play with me until your fingers fell off and it wouldn't happen tonight. That's why I stopped you earlier and wanted you inside of me... I'm too distracted tonight. I just want to be with you like this. Close.”

 

“Sure?”

 

“Yes. Don't worry about anything. It's all good.” she smiled and leaned back in to kiss him.

* * *

Daryl left an hour later, promising to come by right after work the next night, and when the next night rolled around, he was nervous as hell. If River cried because of him again, he would get through it this time, but it would be a huge bummer.

 

He knocked on the front door very lightly and immediately held his breath, when he heard little, but loud, footsteps racing towards the door.

 

“River! Wait for momma!” Daryl heard Sam's muffled voice coming from the inside. He felt his heart beating in his throat, and he swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the unpleasant sensation, while he steeled himself for what might be coming.

 

Sam opened the door, smiling brightly, while River stood in front of her and looked up at Daryl curiously. “Hey. Come on in.” Sam put her hand on River's shoulder and slowly shuffled him back, so that Daryl would be able to enter. When he had closed the door behind them, she leaned in and kissed him gently, while River watched quietly. “Don't be nervous. He can sense it. Kids are like animals in that sense.” Sam giggled quietly against Daryl's lips, making him chuckle low in his throat.

 

“Don't show fear, yeah?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Daaaaaaaa!” River pointed at Daryl, wanting his mother to tell him, who the guy was.

 

“That's Daryl, sweetie. Do you want to say hi to Daryl?”

 

River waved shyly, and Daryl had no idea what to do. He looked at Sam, completely at a loss. Sam smiled and gently rubbed his arm. “It's okay. Just talk to him like to any other person.”

 

Daryl cleared his throat and nodded coolly at the toddler. “Hi.”

 

River kept waving a little longer, before he took off, back into the kitchen, at a run. Daryl released a deep breath, while Sam laughed a little, before she kissed him again. “It's gonna be fine. Before I became a mother, I had no idea how to treat children either. A friend's 1-year old kept talking to me, well, babbling, and I had no idea what to do. I stammered like an idiot. But it will pass, I promise.”

 

“At least he ain't cryin'.”

 

“I was pretty sure he wouldn't. I've been thinking about it and I think he was really startled. He was practically deaf and you came in, he probably didn't hear you come in, he was alone in the living room and suddenly you were standing in front of him. I think that's all it was.”

 

“Would make sense. He didn't have a problem with me when we were at your momma's house the first time.”

 

“Right. I think it will be fine from now on.” Sam smiled and couldn't help but kiss him again. She was so happy that Daryl was back. “Soooo, we shouldn't let him stay in the kitchen by himself for that long. I was just making him a sandwich. He's going to bed in an hour. We can eat once he's in bed. Leftover pizza okay?”

 

“Yeah, don't mind it.”

 

“Good. Come on.” Sam took his hand and led him into the kitchen, where River had climbed on his chair and was playing with his brand new fire truck on the table. She gently pushed Daryl down on the chair next to River, while she went ahead and made River's dinner. “How was your day?”

 

“Same old. Alright, I guess. Better than the past couple of weeks...”

 

“For me, too.”

 

“How's he been doin' today?” Daryl asked about River's condition after his surgery.

 

“That's a real champ, right there.” Sam laughed. “Really, like nothing ever happened. He's not allowed to go to daycare yet, so Becky watched him this morning, and of course, he got a looot of candy out of Auntie Becky, isn't that right, River?”

 

River smiled at his mother, then he went back to playing, while Daryl and Sam kept talking. Eventually River got louder and louder as his frustration grew. The hose had fallen off his fire truck and he wasn't able to get it plugged back into the tiny hole.

 

“In a minute, sweetie.” Sam had her hands full in that moment.

 

Daryl cleared his throat and slowly reached his hand out. “I can fix that for ya...”

 

River gladly handed the hose and the truck over to Daryl, anxious to get back to playing. Daryl wasn't even realizing that the corner of his mouth had tugged up into a crooked grin, when River trusted him with his toys. “Ain't no problem. Just gotta stick the end of the hose back in here.”

 

“Ose...Ose?” River asked questioningly, and Sam dropped her knife and whirled around with wide eyes.

 

“River, did you just try to say hose?”

 

“Ose.” It sounded a bit awkward, like it was hard for him to form the word with his mouth, but he was actually saying a real word.

 

“Son of a bitch.” Sam was near speechless. Not even 48 hours and River was actually trying to say a word.

 

“That was fast.” Even Daryl remarked with surprise in his voice.

 

“The doctor said it could go pretty fast, but honestly, I didn't have much hope that it would be the case for him.”

 

“Ose?”

 

“Yes, honey. Very good! That's a hose. Shit, it's a weird first word, but I'm so proud of you, honey.” She crouched down and kissed River's temple. “Also, note to self: No more four letter words starting with s or f.”

 

“Right, gotta watch that sh-... stuff, from now on.” Daryl quickly corrected himself, then he handed the toy back to River. “Here ya go.”

 

River was careful not to touch Daryl's hand when he took his truck back, but he still gave Daryl a happy smile, and just like that, all the tension finally drained out of Daryl and he was able to relax more around River.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

 

**Next chapter will be the last one! I am not promising a sequel to this, but it might be a possibility that I will “check in on them” and do a drabble every once in a while, like I'm doing for “In the little town of Jasper”.**


	18. Chapter 18

The first week, River kept his distance from Daryl, but whenever Daryl was around and one of his toys broke, River brought it to Daryl to fix it for him, instead of to Sam. She thought it was a good sign and Daryl was proud that the toddler approached him here and there.

 

During the second week, their interactions were still a bit awkward, mostly on Daryl's part, but River began to really warm up. Not only to Daryl, but in general. He started blooming into a happier and braver (for lack of a better word) kid. He started initiating physical contact with Daryl more often. When Sam and River were running around the house, with Sam trying to catch him, River often ran to Daryl and hugged his legs, to hide from Sam. It kept evolving from there on out. When Sam tickled him on the couch, River had no problem dropping into Daryl's lap, in his own way inviting him to take part in the tickle fest. Daryl was still very careful and hesitant, and it was funny for Sam to see, that River was now the braver and less shy one, when it came to them interacting.

 

During the end of the first month, it turned into a beautiful thing to watch. River always included Daryl in everything, and in a way, it was balm for Daryl's soul. He would never admit it out loud, but that the little boy accepted him, was a huge deal to him. Not just because his relationship with Sammy would have been impossible otherwise, but because there was another person, who actually wanted to spend time and interact with him. River still didn't want to use the slide, but he started liking swings. He still didn't interact with the other kids his age at daycare, but he started to love playing with older kids and he no longer had trouble with men. He loved entertaining the adults. Dancing and hopping around in front of them, trying to make them laugh. He was still sensitive to some things, which seemed weird to Sam and Daryl (for example he started screaming his lungs out, when Sam wanted to put a new pair of boots on him), but in general, he simply seemed more carefree.

 

After that first month post-surgery and post-reunion with Daryl, things had gotten better and better. Over time, Daryl lost his shyness with River. It had taken him a bit to grow into the role, but he was turning into a great parent and father figure for River. It helped him grow even more confident and it helped him heal a little, because he realized, that he really wasn't like his own parents. He was able to love and show that love and care to Sam and River. They were both his and he would protect them and care for them with all he had.

 

There had been several occasions that had made Sam cry, because she had been so touched and happy. One weekend, on their way to the park, they had left the stroller at home and River had walked between them, holding Sam's hand. They hadn't even made it all the way down the street, when River had slipped his little hand into Daryl's. Sam had had to blink tears away, while Daryl had squeezed River's hand and had held on tight, letting the little one know, that he wasn't going to let go.

 

On another weekend, Daryl had lifted River up on his motorcycle to sit in front of him, while they had slowly rolled up and down the driveway. River and Daryl had both been so proud, that they had both worn face-splitting grins, once again making Sam cry, who was frantically snapping pictures of the whole thing.

 

Last week, she had walked in on them having ice-cream half an hour before dinner. Both of them had looked so shocked and guilty at having been caught red-handed, that Sam hadn't been able to be strict about it at all. She had burst out laughing and had kissed both their faces all over.

 

Today, though, (after about 3 months of them pretty much living together), River delivered the biggest tearjerker yet. They were all hanging out on the couch together. Sam was sideways on Daryl's lap, cuddling with him, while they talked about this and that. River was cuddled up in the corner of the couch, next to Daryl, and was watching a video on Sam's phone. Or so they thought. Apparently, he was keeping one eye on them. Sam and Daryl were bantering playfully until Daryl gave up on winning the argument, making Sam laugh and press a big kiss to his cheek. Before either one of them realized what was happening, River was standing on the couch right next to Daryl, then he grabbed Daryl's face in his chubby little hands, and pressed his little mouth against Daryl's cheek, just like he had seen his mother do a couple of seconds earlier. River pulled away with a giggle and dropped back on the couch, while both the adults gaped at him. Daryl had pressed a kiss to River's head a couple of times by now, but River had never returned the favor, not even with Sam.

 

“Oh my God...” Sam's voice was a shaky whisper, while tears filled her eyes. She had to press her hand over her mouth and quickly leave the room, so River wouldn't think he had done something to make her sad. She fled into the kitchen where she let her emotions overwhelm her. She started sobbing and crying uncontrollably, because her heart wasn't able to handle that much cuteness. She had known it before, but with this, it had been like all her dreams had come true... They were a family. River adored Daryl and vice versa. She finally had what she had been dreaming about ever since she had met Daryl about 9 months ago.

 

Daryl had to fight his own tears. Warmth filled his heart and almost made it burst. However, he was forced to blink away his tears quickly, when River had handed him Sam's phone, where the tiny smart phone genius had already opened the app with the pictures and sounds of animals. Daryl had a hard time focusing at first, because he was pretty overwhelmed as well. He didn't even kiss Sam, only when she asked, but out of the blue, because he wanted to? Never. It was easily one of the best moments in his life. He loved that boy, and to get some of that back was amazing. All those parents on television were right. No matter how nerve-wracking a weekend full of temper tantrums were, when they acted all cute a moment later, it was all worth it. The thought made Daryl chuckle internally. Who would've thought that he would end up in this position? Not him, or he never would have put them all through that horrible break-up. He had thanked Merle for beating some sense into him, loading up the fridge in the trailer with quality meat and booze, letting Merle do with it what he wanted. He also helped his brother out with every other bill here and there. Since he spent most of his time at Sammy's, he was splitting rent, utilities and groceries with her, making it easier on her to provide for River and preventing her from having to grab every shift in order to make ends meet. It awarded all three of them more time together, and the money was not hurting him at all. He still had more than enough, actually more than he knew what to do with, so after a couple of months, he had already amassed some nice savings.

 

He was spoiling River rotten. He was delivering stores for a living, which made him able to go into those stores and buy things. Toys, specifically. Cars, games, stuffed animals, costumes, etc. etc. River's room was stuffed to the brink. It was one of the reasons why they were thinking about moving into a slightly bigger place together. Sam loved her house and Daryl felt at home there, too, but River loved being outdoors. They didn't have a backyard and they didn't always have enough time to go to the park, so Sam and Daryl agreed that it would be better to look for another place with a nice backyard, big enough to put up a swing set and a sand pit, maybe a small plastic pool for splashing around a little. Daryl was already full of ideas of how to arrange all the various things in the backyard and he'd told Sam all about it. She had listened with a smile on her face, loving how enthusiastic was about it, but she was pretty sure that that new backyard would be about to burst pretty quickly as well, if he kept going around buying things at the rate he was doing these days.

 

Sam, meanwhile, had calmed down again and went back into the living room. The sight that greeted her, made her want to cry again, but this time she was able to keep cool. River was cuddled against Daryl's side, leaning his head against Daryl's chest, while Daryl held the phone with one hand and threaded his fingers through River's thick hair with his other hand.

 

“You okay?” he asked when Sam sat back down next to him.

 

“Yeah. Just surprised... I mean, I knew that he loved you very much, but this was just... wow.”

 

“I know. He don't even kiss you.” Daryl couldn't help the proud little smirk, but Sam wasn't offended at all.

 

“I know. Makes it so much more special. He really loves you... and... so do I...” She added the last part quietly, almost carefully, still nervous about his reaction to hearing it out loud for the first time.

 

“Knew that already.” he said with a little smile.

 

“You did? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You pick up on things.”

 

Daryl laughed. “Guess so, yeah. Ya hear me fart in my sleep in yer bed and sleep in my stink, so I figured that's gotta be love.”

 

Sam almost fell off the sofa from laughing so hard. “Oh my God, Daryl. That's the best description of love I've ever heard. Disgusting, but probably pretty accurate.”

 

“Yeah. Ya do it, too and I don't mind, so...”

 

“Daryl!” Sam slapped him playfully. “We don't talk about women doing that. Good Lord.”

 

“Pffff, who cares? I don't... guess that means, that I love ya, too, don't it?”

 

“Yeah... looks like.” she grinned, before she downright attacked him and kissed him happily over and over again. Finally, things were perfect.

* * *

**1 year later**

 

Daryl held Sam's hand and kissed the Princess Cut Diamond wedding band, which adorned Sam's left ring finger. The fit had become a little snug, but she had refused to take it off, because she loved it just as much as she loved her husband and her son. She didn't want to go through one single day without it, so she had kept it on, and by now it would be impossible to get it off, even if she would want to.

 

“Not much longer, Sammy. Almost there.” Daryl told her, trying to support her and keep her motivated 7 hours into labor.

 

“You said that an hour ago. And another hour before that!” Sam groaned when she felt another contraction starting. She tried to breathe through the pain, which turned out to be a bit easier than the first time she had given birth, but the pain still sucked and she wanted to punch every single person in the delivery room in the crotch.

 

“This time I mean it. She said it's 7 centimeters now. You can start pushing soon.”

 

“Yaaay.” she cheered in a sarcastic tone and rolled her eyes at him. She was sweaty, uncomfortable and in pain; she was **not** feeling Daryl's cheerful enthusiasm.

 

“You said pushing was the good part.” he wasn't able to keep himself from smirking. She was so cute when she was pissed off. He hated that she was in pain, but there was a good reason for her to go through that pain. If he would be able to share it with her, he would, but unfortunately, there was no way to do that. Instead, he tried to keep her distracted, even if it meant having her a little mad at him. He didn't care. Today was one of the best days of his life and he couldn't wait to meet their new baby boy.

 

“Oh shut up, shut up, shuuut uuuup!!!!” Sam groaned in pain again and squeezed his hand extra hard, when the next contraction wracked her uterus. “You did this to me.”

 

“Oh yeah? Think I remember you bein' there, too. And you had fun.” Daryl looked around and saw that the midwife was at the other end of the room, getting something out of a drawer, so he lowered his head and pressed his lips against Sam's ear. “You came pretty freaking hard that night, remember, sweetheart? We had ta sleep on the floor, 'cause we made such a damn mess of the bed.”

 

He pulled back and saw her looking at him like he had gone insane. It made him burst out into a little laugh, while Sam huffed in annoyance. “Seriously, Daryl? How can you even think about fucking right now? Your damn spawn is about to split me in half, there is nothing sexy about it.”

 

“There kinda is.”

 

“Oh God. I married a damn pervert.”

 

“Only 'cause ya turned me into one.”

 

“Oh, now that's my fault? No, no, no, that wasn't me. That was in you before I met you.”

 

“Maybe, but you let it out, so it always comes back to you, don't it?” he smirked again and quickly pressed his lips against hers while she had a moment of relief from the contractions. “Love ya, Sammy. Even more for doin' this for us.”

 

“Ugh, really? Now you gotta pull that? You can't even let me be mad at you for five minutes?” she grumbled, but it was playful. She rubbed her thumb across his knuckles and pulled their joined hands to her own lips to kiss the back of his hand. “I love you, too.”

 

“But you still wanna yank my balls off?”

 

“Oh yeah.” she nodded forcefully and squeezed the hell out of his fingers, when the next contraction hit.

 

An hour later she was finally able to start pushing. She had hoped that this part would go  **really** quick, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case. It didn't take  **that** long, either, but close to the finish line, she was exhausted and just wanted to give up. 

 

“Fucking hell, he's got your shoulders! Nope. I'm done.” She announced under labored breath. “Cut him out, I don't care. I can't do any more of this.”

 

“Hell yeah, ya can.” Daryl saw that Sam was reaching her breaking point, but he knew her well enough to know, that she wasn't completely there, yet. He also knew that it really wasn't much more until their son was out, because the midwife kept telling Sam that it was only about 2-4 more pushes until she would be done. He had no idea what came over him in that moment, but he refused to stand there and be helpless and let her give up. “Come on, sit up a little, Sammy.” He hooked his arm around the back of her neck and helped her sit up a little. Sam whimpered in pain and groaned in frustration, wondering what the hell he was doing.

 

“Daryl, what...?”

 

“Hush... save your breath, girl.” Daryl told her, while he climbed on the bed and squeezed in behind Sam. He pulled her back to rest against his chest, and Sam started crying when she sank against him and felt, that he was supporting her and that he, quite literally, had her back.

 

“Mr. Dixon, you can't-”

 

“Yes, I can. Already did. You want her to give up?” Daryl asked the midwife challengingly, to which the woman made a little face, but also shook her head no. “Alright.” he nodded and kissed Sam's cheek. “We're gonna do this together, Sammy. Okay? I got you. Just a little more, I promise. I'm here. I'll help ya. Another one comin'? You gotta push?” Sam nodded and Daryl quickly took both her hands in his. “You can do this, baby. Now, deep breath and then a nice big push. Come on, sweetheart, you can do it. Know ya can.”

 

Daryl felt Sam inhale deeply, and when she held her breath in order to push, Daryl leaned forward slightly with her in his arms, enabling her to push a little longer and a little harder, giving her physical support, as well as emotional support.

 

“Yes!” The midwife smiled. “That's it! That's wonderful. Almost there, Sam. One more and the head is out.”

 

“Hear that, Sammy? He's almost here. Gimme one more, baby. You're doing so good.” Daryl cheered her on and helped her a second time.

 

“Yes, little more, little more, little more, don't stop now, little more... oooohhh there he is. Stop pushing. Don't push now. Wow, he's got Daddy's wild hair.” The midwife laughed up at Sam and Daryl.

 

“He does?” Both asked in unison and shared a smile.

 

“Oh yes, he does. You can see him in just a minute. Give me one more strong push, Sam.”

 

“Last one, Sammy.” Daryl smiled at her and kissed her gently. His eyes were already shining with unshed tears. Being able to share this with her and being able to help her at least a little was overwhelming. He wasn't sure if he'd ever felt closer to her than in this moment. He was almost sad, that it was over, but now he couldn't wait to see his son. “Let's do it.” he smiled against her cheek, before he helped her through her very last push.

 

It was a surreal feeling when the midwife placed his crying newborn son on Sam's chest. He was a hearty, little thing, compared to the newborn pictures of River, but he was still tinier than Daryl could have ever imagined. It was weird, because he'd never felt a powerful rush like this before. With River, the love had built over time as they had gotten to know each other, albeit pretty quickly, but here? It was like someone had pushed a button and Daryl's heart was overflowing with love within a nanosecond. Now he knew, that he really did love River like his own, because the feeling was the same, but of course this moment was different than meeting River. Now he was crying, because being there from the very first moment of his second son's life was an absolute rush.

 

“See? Told you he had your shoulders.” Sam smiled through her tears as she relaxed in Daryl's arms and gently stroked a finger through the thick dark hair on their baby's head.

 

“Chubby, little thing.” Daryl grinned and kissed Sam's temple. “That's how it's supposed ta be.”

 

“He's beautiful.”

 

“He is.” Daryl agreed with a nod and gently traced his fingertip over the teeny, tiny, wrinkly hand of his son.

 

“Thank you.” Sam smiled and kissed him lovingly. “Couldn't have done it without you.”

 

“Anytime.” Daryl smiled and wrapped his arms around hers, so he was able to hold both of them at the same time.

 

“You got a name, yet?” The midwife asked as she worked on Sam, while they waited for a doctor to check out the little one.

 

“Daniel.” Daryl replied proudly.

* * *

Later that night, when Sam had rested a bit, Merle and Becky brought over River to meet his little brother.

 

Daryl lifted River onto Sam's hospital bed and carefully placed little Daniel in his arms. “Like I showed ya, Riv. Keep his head steady, just like that.”

 

“He's heavy.” River giggled happily. “Can he sleep in my room?”

 

“No, sweetie. Daniel's gotta sleep in our room.” Sam smiled and tousled River's hair. “He is going to cry at night, because he will be hungry a lot, and that would wake you up. And what happens when something wakes you up?”

 

River giggled mischievously.

 

“What happens, River?” Daryl prompted the little boy with a smile.

 

“I make no-no's.”

 

“That's right.” Daryl agreed with a laugh. “Lots of 'em. Little grumpy ass.”

 

“Daryl!” Sam admonished him, but she was laughing as well. She was too happy not to.

 

“Daddy said ass.” River laughed, which made Daryl take Daniel back into his own arms, because River always fell over when he laughed too hard.

 

“Yes, Daddy slipped up, but you know the rules, River. We try not to say bad words, right?”

 

“Can I have a cookie? I'm hungry.”

 

“Don't you wanna see what present your little brother brought for you?” Daryl grinned, when River perked right up. They had had River pick out one of his old stuffed animals, to pass on to his little brother. In return, they had told River, Daniel would bring a present he had picked out himself for his older brother.

 

“Yeeees!!!” River's eyes were wide in excitement.

 

“Alright. Daniel can't give it to you, because he's all wrapped up in that blanket, so Momma and I are givin' it to you, alright? But it's from Daniel.” Daryl explained to the waiting toddler, before he handed over a colorful package.

 

River tore apart the wrapping paper at lightning speed and gasped. “Traiiiiiiiiiins!!!!! Daddy, open!”

 

“Not here, champ, or the nurses will stumble and fall if we set it up here. Alright? Imma take you home in a bit and we can play a little before bed.”

 

River frowned and Daryl realized a tantrum was coming. “River...” he said warningly. “Don't start. We are gonna play, but not right now. If you flip out we won't play at all.”

 

“Okay.” River agreed with a sigh, but he still didn't look happy.

 

Sam just watched with a smile on her face. Daryl was so good at handling him, she had no idea how he'd ever thought he wouldn't be able to do it.

 

A little later, they let Merle and Becky into the room to meet the newest addition to the Dixon family.

 

“A good, strong Dixon man.” Merle grinned while he lightly bounced Daniel in his arms. “Y'all did good.”

 

“Thank you, Merle.” Sam rested her hand on Merle's arm for a moment. “If it hadn't been for you, all this wouldn't have happened.”

 

“Awww, you're making me blush, Bambi.”

 

Sam had stopped rolling her eyes at that name a while ago. Merle was Merle. He was a good guy, who constantly made bad decisions. There was probably no real saving him from himself, but he was good with River, which let her know that he would be good with Daniel, too, and he had their back and always helped out when they needed it.

 

“I'm serious. If you hadn't kicked his ass when you did...”

 

“Yeah. Sometimes wish I would have done it sooner, but hell, all's good and well now, right?”

 

“Right.” Sam smiled and sank back against the bed while she watched her family interact.

 

Daryl nodded as well and smiled at Sam and at his brother, the two people who were more or less responsible for who he was now, and for how his life was going. Less than two years ago, he had almost died over some stupid TV show. His life had been stuck in a rut. He had lived in Merle's shadow, always wishing for something to happen, but at the same time, accepting how shitty life was.

 

Now he was 40 years old and he was finally his own person. A good person. He had a great job, he was married to a wonderful woman and he had two beautiful children, who he was able to provide for. He was okay with himself and happy with his life. Merle couldn't have said it better. Everything was good and well and damn near perfect.

 

**The END**

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

 

**I hoped you liked the conclusion. I was satisfied with it, which probably means that you're gonna hate it, lol. Just like when you think you did well on a test and scored a D.**

 

**Thank you so much to everyone who accompanied me through this “mini-fic”. Like I said, there might be little drabbles in the future to see how their lives turn out.**

**Also thank you to the lovely commenters and everybody who left kudos.**

**Much love to all of you.**


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